Hi,

Just wondering if anyone has attended "Retrouvaille". I don't know anyone that's been and we are considering going, but also think this/we might be too far gone.

It's my understanding that it's not a "he-said / she-said" thing but rather a hard-core classroom setting.

• Did it help you? Either to get back together or learn to be stronger on your own.

• Was it something that should have followed after seeking other counseling first.

• If you have no problem communicating (we yell just fine.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> does it help to fine-tune your
skills?

• Any happy endings? How about just a real strong desire to do what's right, on both ends?

• How far is too far gone? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Any input would be helpful - Thanks

ps if you want the sorted history of this particular disaster, i've got it posted in prayer requests - what's wrong with this pic 2

Try using the search engine at the top of the page as there's lots of comments on Retrouvaille, mostly positive. I have a close friend that went and she's convinced the experience saved her marriage. Here's a link to some of the comments. Good luck and god bless!

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=34;t=000376#000000

Stu.....A couple went from our church and it saved their marriage. I think they are now facilitators at one of them. I got some info from it last year and it looked great.

If you all are willing to go to something to try and save your marriage then by all means try it. I tried to get my former wife to go but she wouldn't consider it.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Go. It's only money. I wish my H had agreed to go. I heard that even people who had gone to the end of divorce proceedings managed to reconcile.

Retrouvaille is awesome! We went a year ago in Feb. and I thought it was fantastic. We were able to open up and discuss issues that had been buried for years. Couples who had had serious problems shared, there was alot of time alone to think about things and together to share, I highly recommend it.

Just so you don't think I'm a hypocrite....yes, we did divorce. Retrouvaille does not work if there is physical/emotional abuse, mental illness, or pedophilia involved. But then, neither does MB.

It's still an awesome program, I really think you should try it.

Thank you all for the info! I did look up in the search on this site and found a few other tid-bits of info about it.

I still don't know if it will help us but it is worth a shot. Maybe they can tell us if we've both just snapped all together and should run as fast as we can!

I'm sorry Annavon about your divorce and your point is well taken about the other illnesses or problems that Ret doesn't help with. That sounds right - emotional abuse is such a weird area though and I'm sure were at that point (I know that's been going on).

It sounds like this program may point out things we both have working against us and how to either wade through them, or get out of the pool.

A lot to think about - open eyes I guess is the key here.

Thank you! I'll be checking back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

We went to Retrouvaille. One, your wayward spouse needs to have all connection with the other person totally gone, dead, zero. But my husband, didn't, and just 5 minutes before we were leaving for retrouvaille, I heard him say, outside the window of our bedroom, I love you, 5 times, 5 big mushy kisses, and 5 big moaning groans of hugs. Of course, I told him when he came into the house that I was not going, and repeated his moans and groans.

I heard him tell her, don't try calling me, I won't beable to use the cell phone. I will call you when I get back. And of course at Retrouvaille, they told him, that he was to come with the other woman totally gone. He didn't make the first committment, so nothing good really happened. He used me sexually, I didn't want it, and he knew, cause at the first night, I broke down in the seminar crying, and basically telling him to go to h*ll.

It is a really good program. The people are honest, forthright, and really care about their spouses. I thought the program would be a successful bringing back of marriages. But my husband didn't look at it that way. He looked at it as something he had to do, to say he tried. And the same with Marriage Builders. But he didn't want the other woman out of his life.

You learn to communicate with each other. You learn how to say things that are about your feelings, is a way that is not critical of your spouse. That is where my husband could not get it. He still says things with conferences with both our lawyers there. Like today, I turned to his lawyer and said, these are the words I have to deal with all the time. My hsuband sees me as nothing, and that is why we are divorcing. I am someone, and someone very honorable and forthright. I am honest, not like him, and therefore, he can have his liar of other woman she is. I will be happy by myslef.

Try it, go with a wanting heart, and talk with your husband to see if he is wanting the same. It takes two. And the people there are so helpful.