how do you stay away and truly let God do His work?

I know that my husband still loves me. He's not denied that. I believe he feels that we will just sink into our old habits and he will be unhappy. He's said as much himself. He's said that the only way to prevent the past from repeating itself is to not let our marriage happen. If any questions concerning a divorce are brought up, he will say, "I haven't thought about that." or "I don't know." We had a huge fight on Saturday evening and I asked when he was filing...."I don't know." is the response I have. In the whole four months that we've been separated, he's not once mentioned divorce, I have. But, he's told me time and time again that he's not coming back home.

It's so hard when you know someone loves you and you love them so much in return to stay away from that person. I miss him terribly and I miss my stepdaughters as well. What's the best way to let go and let God without driving yourself crazy.

I've been pretty angry at God in my life. My previous prayers throughout my life that have been dearest to me have not turned out the way I would have liked and it's hard for me to trust what I can see, let alone what I cannot. I have asked God to show me the way. I have asked God to instill the trust in me. But, I'm not feeling it and I have a hard time "hearing" what He says to me.

If anyone has any ideas, please assist me!

My stbx did the same thing. We separated for six months and he never said until the end, two weeks before I filed that he would come home. He had a OW and came home only for three days. And he bared his soul to me about how he couldn't live without her then.

They want to force us to DO THE DIVORCE THING OURSELVES AND HAVE THE BLOOD ON OUR HANDS. They'e already left their families. They do not want to know they filed. They want us to have some blame. And it is wrong. But that may be what he is doing.

ferbie,

Did you read the last post in put on your other thread? Your situation sounds a lot like mine was when my husband left. I hope you go to the web site I gave you. It is were I learned to let God have it. It is also where I got my hope. I know my husband is going to be home soon. Everything is pointing that way. He stays here several times a week already. We do things together as a family. We go to church together. He would not do any of these things when he first left. Everything I did pushed him away even more. He wouldn't even come in the house for awhile and he didn't want to be anywhere I was at. If I visited his Mom he would leave there if he was there.

When I learned what God wanted me to do and started doing it, things started to change. It takes time. I made so many mistakes at first that I am sure has caused the restoration to take longer. The more hurt the longer it takes to heal. I hurt him when I contested the divorce by the things I wrote. I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to slow the divorce and tell why we shouldn't be divorced. It just made things worse. When I learned what God wanted me to do, I learned I had shamed him in the response my lawyer wrote. I let my lawyer go and things slowed down. The divorce went away. I don't ask him about it.This has given him and I time to heal. Then are reltionship began to heal. It has taken time and it has been painful. I have had to thank God for all this happening, for the pain,
because this is how He has molded and changed me to be more like He wants me to be. I would still be my old self if all this didn't happen. I would not have the relationship I have with God or others if not for the pain. God tells us we will suffer but He will be there with us. This is how we learn to depend on Him and have a closier realtionship with Him.

Did you go to the web site I gave you? I know it will help you to understand what I am talking about. It will also give you the hope you desire.

gentle

pardon me ms. ferbie,
i'm not big on the "God scene myself" but i like to think that i'm as spiritual as the next man, so i have to say that i find your post a bit troubling.

why is that we human's screw up everything we touch and the blame God or complain about his solutions to our problems?!

we kill our fellow man becuase the law tells us it's just, then ask that God sanction our sin. we even quote scripture to prove that we are doing God's will in the process! come on! we destroy his creation and then say we're doing it for his greater glory? hummm, interesting.

we kill the doctors who do abortions and feel morally correct in doing so...and we tell the world that we do it in God's name. that it's OK to murder God's creation because we hate or disagree with what this man we are killing is doing and after all this is no real doctor...he's just a murder!?

we treat our fellow man, (you know the ones i'm talking about...the ones that don't pray as we do, or have the same color skin as we do or believe as we do) with no love, tolerance or understanding and then we blame God because there's no peace in the world!

we foul or rivers, lakes and oceans, kill our forests with acid rain and cover our country with litter and filth and the ask God to make it all better!

i don't know but it seems to me that God's kind of busy these days. in fact, with all the stupid acts and follies that we humans perform i guess we might just have to cut our poor lord some slack here and there....and forgive him if he sometimes leaves it up to we human kind to grow up and deal with some of our own problems for a change.

in fact i don't want to seem irreverent but maybe, just maybe...praying less and thinking more...just might help us solve more of our own problems...and give the good lord a little bit of well deserved rest in the bargain.

so here's a suggestion ferbie. have a little patience! the situation that you're in didn't happen in one day or in one year so why would the solutin to the problem be found in less time then it took to create the problem? and try to think about it this way. maybe it's not God that's failing you...maybe...just maybe it's you that's failed God! is that possible?

coach

Coach,
Your response was a little harsh I would think for a site that is based on Christian values and a site that is suppose to be about supporting others in need.

I would think if one not have something productive to share, one should not share it at all.

ferbie,
forgive me if i sounded harsh. and i truly mean that. please forgive me. however, sugar coating my remarks has never been my way.

and by the way, please understand that my remarks weren't so much directed just at you as they were directed at all of us (and i do include myself) who find ourselves in trouble from time to time, and then get down on our knees to pray.

your post just triggered a response in me to a lot of other posts that i've read around here, so i let it out...and you're feeling as though that i aimed my remarks directly at you. not so and i apologize again for making you feel that it was.

however, having apologized to you twice, i have to say i'll pretty much stand by my comments. LOL

and as for the site being chrisitian, i don't see it that way. a site is a place not a person or a thing! it doesn't think or feel on it's own!

all this place is, is an open forum where people express ideas and opinions...and if the prevailing thoughts and opinions expressed here are only christian in nature then maybe it's a good thing that a heathen such as myself be allowed to express an occasion...with a point of view that differs.

by the way, if you feel that the only point of view worth hearing is a christianm point of view then feel free to ignore my hertic comments. after all, who am i but a silly fool who believes that God feels my love and faith in him is just as important as yours.

coach