After taking off for the mediation from work (missing yet another work day) my lead attorney calls me to say that Darth informed his attorney today that he just hasn't had enough time (had a year and a half) to get together the fifteen or more documents (financial) we need to proceed tomorrow. In court in Valentine's Day, he was compelled by court to produce them and made to sign the papers he agreed to in a temporary agreement with both attorneys.

So...My lead attorney says this. Darth's been apparently too preoccupied with his business trial (for his poor business practice back home) to do this for his wife and child and to legitimize his status as a man shacking up mostly. We got a court date (april 2) for the contempt hearing with our judge. If he doesn't pay us the back amount owed (over five grand now and rapidly approaching seven) and produce the documents we will have him held in contempt and that means JAIL TIME FOR DARTH. He will be led away in handcuffs. Attorney then says "maybe his vanity will work for us now". And that it will "be disastrous for a man working in the financial industry to be arrested for not paying his wife and child and then be found in a fault state guilty of adultery, abuse and abandonment and more." This could mar his business reputation as Darth doesn't think he has to answer to anyone. I wanted the closure. I had hurt so much and still am. I needed it and the financial security possibly from ending this all.

I have been through too much. But now attorney SEES that Darth is the sociopath I've believed him to be for some time now. It is sooooo dad gum apparent. He only does what directly affects him. Only cares for what helps him. Maybe the thought of jail looming and bars slamming will change his little arrogant demeanor. And get this one...He, the man who claims to have "not enough money" bought for son a pure bred dog (expensive breed) and tickets to see a pricey broadway play coming to downtown Atlanta. Just a charade for him. To do what is good for him. He won't just be going with son. No. That would not benefit him. He will bring along Ms. Family Values and her child also. He doesn't just do something and spend quality time with our son even when he has visitation on every other weekend. It is on DARTH'S TERMS and FOR DARTH'S BEST INTEREST ONLY.

Going through all these emotions yesterday leading up to this day has helped somewhat though. I now see that maybe he has to be jailed. Maybe this is best. Maybe he will hit rock bottom when he realizes he has LOST. The judge is very family oriented and politically conservative. He is jokingly called the "preaching judge" because he lectures those who he thinks needs preaching to. He is a Christian and I couldn't ask for a better person to hold Darth accountable.

Yes I am mad. And there is a part of me that hates to have to do the contempt thing but is best. I used to always protect Darth from his actions and the consequences. Like filing a police report when he busted my lip and having the police photograph it (and it is evidence in our case) but never have him arrested. I was in plan A then and wanted him to see that I was not like he portrayed me. Now however, I know that no plan A works for a guy who is a sociopath..Or for a girl who's one for that matter. Have to be somewhat politically correct ok?

So let's see if Ms. Family Values or his parents (who disagree with him and dislike his choices) come and bail Darth out in two weeks. My attorney said he will bring the soap on a rope and that the prison roomies there will just loooove his new little ricky martin hairdo. He will be popular there. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I hope nobody will enable his bad behaviors anymore. As I am not.

One praise. My mother can move her thumb and forefingers and almost do a pincer grasp again. Call from physical therapist made me happy. Thanks for prayers for her too.

Keep us in your prayers please? I know now that there is something so wrong with Darth. It is apparent. He needs to be saved from himself. But in doing so, he needs to hit rock bottom. Pray he sees it and his only recourse is to look up, look heavenward.

But I still do not want this dirty sham of a marriage anymore. No sir. I want a marriage with love, honor and trust and all that I did not have for the last three years. And it needs to end. And only hope for ever even a tiny slim chance for reconciliation one day would be for darth to hit the bottom and fully understand and realize and maybe go get help or treatment for his problems. But I realize also that I am probably going to keep moving on and so will son with me. This is just sad and tragic. He could have had a family. His real family.

Pray nobody and I mean NOBODY ENABLES HIS BEHAVIORS ANYMORE. He is a prodigal and needs to eat the slop with the hogs now. It's time for that. Once upon a time, a few years back, I would have never allowed that to happen. Maybe when the bars slam shut soon he will have time to sit and think what he has done.

So here is an example to the WS's out here reading: selfishness leads to destruction. Adultery is not going to get you anywhere good. It is a one way street.

Oh...his own attorney is mad at him too. Definitely not an easy client. And I am about moving on. Were it not that I was wired to be a traditional and faith oriented gal, I would probably never once have looked back and am doing so much more less now than ever. I can honestly say if this keeps on for a good while longer that I may possibly never look back. It is sad. But that is the lot of the WS. I wish it were not so. And yet I so hope that when WS come here for support they can see us and not want it to end like this marriage has. Maybe through all of this somebody will have enough courage to Not call OW or OM and just maybe try once to reconnect with their husband or wife. Isn't enough enough here?

How many families broken apart does it take?

Peachy, the first thought that crosses my mind is that after this is all DONE, you write a BOOK on how to survive, overcome and hold on to your faith!! You'll make millions, appear on Oprah, and ol' Darth will be watching on a 13" black and white tv in a dimly lit cell, vainly wishing ms.family values would bring the bail money....
Now THERES a fantasy!!!!

Blessings girl!

Sometimes, if you give them enough rope, they will hang themselves.

Ok ok. I am supposed to be in mediation this am. So b/c of Darth's inability to finish anything (marriage included) I am sleeping in late today and worked on new makeup look. My girlfriend back home is a makeup artist and sent me a tape about how to redo my makeup and voila! Looks rather glam and makes me look totally different. My neighbor, a school nurse, is off b/c it is spring break this week. She came over to see how I am doing and why I am not at mediation and I answered the door. Hair was done a bit differently, notin usual sweats and t shirt and my new makeup on. She said, "excuse me, but a girl named peachy lives here...have you seen her?" She almost fell out. She says to answer the door looking like this (wearing nothing dressy mind you but cute shirt and capri jeans) when Darth comes in and STILL DO NOT LOOK AT HIM. She says that the twenty somethings here in ATL have got major competition and maybe I should consider younger guys, albeit they have to be at least twenty five and a decent career..Lol! But I feel a thousand times better. A bubble bath, new look, and a few carb free beers last night have done the trick. Boy am I fairly low maintenance these days. This much enjoyment from maybe ten bucks.

Anyway, I received on email about an hour ago this list of jokes from Darth. Apparently he has still kept me on his buddy list (buddy? I said no to the friends thing as he has NOT been my friend..) and noticed TWO UNUSUAL THINGS. One: Ms. Monkey's email address was missing. Hmmm. Did it not go too well last weekend for probably another shackfest? And Ms. Family Values email address was there too...Along with mine, his still legal wife. And the jokes are as follows : (I am cutting and pasting ok)..Remember Darth emailed these to me and his chickie poo and about twelve of his other "friends" too. Some women with interesting email address names too. Like : Bethscute, etc..And all he did was make me really mad...

Remember: I didn't write these ok. What's the Difference
What's the best form of birth control after 50?
Nudity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
Because those men already! y have boyfriends.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and
refrigerator.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're really ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you know when you're lead! ing a pathetic life?
When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Mom's have Mother's day, Dad's have Father's day, what do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
Her navel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo machine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did God create alcohol?
So ugly people could hav! e sex, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby?
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do drivers education classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?
A Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front the cage, along with a recipe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the Cuban National Anthem?
Row, row, row your boat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time." A Southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this s(it."


Ok...I am wondering why all the blonde/wife/girlfriend jokes. Think he is either being mean or trying to be his version of witty. Let's see how witty Darth will be when cuffs are slapped on his unrepentant wrists in two weeks. God I wish he would just sit back and look at his life. He must think it is great. I sure wonder what it feels like to succumb to the proverbial FOG. MUST BE FUN TO HAVE NO WORRIES, NO MORALS, NO REGRETS AND JUST LIVE FOR YOURSELF IN THAT FOG. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Another IM from Darth as I am getting ready to leave...He says : "The frog wants to know what you are doing on the computer in the middle of day on her day off?"

I reply: Because the princess is checking her emails. The princess is busy. I click off.

don't even answer him

they hate being ignored. . . .

just ignore him . . .

or block him on the IM

wiftty

Sometimes when I am up late at night like tonight I wonder if our hearts are going to totally mend in the future and if I ever fall in love again if it will be anything like it was before.

Just down I guess. Another weekend. And no closure yet. I just wonder sometimes if my heart is going to be able to love once more. Sometimes i definitely say yes sir it is! And others, no it can never really recover from all this poop. I wish he had been willing to just give the documents and plow right through the divorce with me so I would be moving on further than I am now.

Sometimes I just think that I will never be able to feel that something, that spark ever again. That my heart was just broken into too many damn pieces to work right again.

I read the following in your post. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am mad.
Pray nobody and I mean NOBODY ENABLES HIS BEHAVIORS ANYMORE. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And all I can say is, you are very far along in your healing. Yes, we can be mad, but we are healing when we know how to handle the anger/dissappointment. It will be over someday, but you are a better person for it.
I'm planning to be divorced in 2003! Let's celebrate the year.

I read the following in your post. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am mad.
Pray nobody and I mean NOBODY ENABLES HIS BEHAVIORS ANYMORE. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">And all I can say is, you are very far along in your healing. Yes, we can be mad, but we are healing when we know how to handle the anger/dissappointment. It will be over someday, but you are a better person for it.
I'm planning to be divorced in 2003! Let's celebrate the year.