Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 26
Member
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 26 |
Let me give you all a little background. I mentioned in my post of yesterday that my H had an affair recently. The difficult part (serious understatement) is that he still has to have contact with her at work. Because he is in the Air Force he could actually go to jail for having an affair, and he would certainly recieve at least a dishonorable discharge. So, until we move in May, I'll just have to accept the fact that he will see her there. HOWEVER, I have told him how important it is to me that he not have any other contact with her! Tonight, he tells me that she got very sick at work today and co-workers took her to the E.R. and then home. The catch is that at the end of the day he was asked to run a prescription out to her house. Well, pardon me for not being O.K. with that! I suggested he make an excuse for why he couldn't do it. Or even that I be the one to take it out. He finally decided to turf it on someone else, but he's mad at me for putting him in, as he calls it, "A lose/lose situation". Excuse me?!! I put HIM in a lose/lose? I might be a little mixed up here, but it seems to me that HE is the one who did this!!! If he keeps blaming me for causing his discomfort I think I'll explode! This kind of blame-shifting has been going on through this whole thing. I can't take it!!!!<BR>Hope
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 1,514
Member
|
Member
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 1,514 |
Of course he's p*ssed. You buggered his strategy to continue the affair. <P>As for blame? He made an agreement in order to save his marriage. That takes two sides. There is no <I>blame</I> for what he had to do in order to honor his agreement. <P>Stay the course, take the heat, and realize that he's feeling deprived of her and may have a few addict-like strategies still up his sleeve. That "blame" of his is just another one of them. It's your job to beat 'em.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
1,138
guests, and
56
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,032
|
Most Online6,102 Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|