Let me give you all a little background. I mentioned in my post of yesterday that my H had an affair recently. The difficult part (serious understatement) is that he still has to have contact with her at work. Because he is in the Air Force he could actually go to jail for having an affair, and he would certainly recieve at least a dishonorable discharge. So, until we move in May, I'll just have to accept the fact that he will see her there. HOWEVER, I have told him how important it is to me that he not have any other contact with her! Tonight, he tells me that she got very sick at work today and co-workers took her to the E.R. and then home. The catch is that at the end of the day he was asked to run a prescription out to her house. Well, pardon me for not being O.K. with that! I suggested he make an excuse for why he couldn't do it. Or even that I be the one to take it out. He finally decided to turf it on someone else, but he's mad at me for putting him in, as he calls it, "A lose/lose situation". Excuse me?!! I put HIM in a lose/lose? I might be a little mixed up here, but it seems to me that HE is the one who did this!!! If he keeps blaming me for causing his discomfort I think I'll explode! This kind of blame-shifting has been going on through this whole thing. I can't take it!!!!<BR>Hope

Of course he's p*ssed. You buggered his strategy to continue the affair. <P>As for blame? He made an agreement in order to save his marriage. That takes two sides. There is no <I>blame</I> for what he had to do in order to honor his agreement. <P>Stay the course, take the heat, and realize that he's feeling deprived of her and may have a few addict-like strategies still up his sleeve. That "blame" of his is just another one of them. It's your job to beat 'em.