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#746423 03/19/03 05:29 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 137
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How should I feel when I called my home to ask if wife would be around to pick kids up, and my mother-in-law says my wife "is not a part of my life anymore" and I should not be asking questions about her.
This is only 6 weeks after wife kicked me out of house because she doesn't want to be married to me anymore.
In-laws are also taking care of my kids when I should be doing that and do to court order my rights as their parent are limited to once a week parenting.

Also wife has apparently moved all reminder of me out of the house, nearly 20 years of marriage being swept under the carpet so to speak.
Wife's family welcoming new guy and to me good ridence.
What's a guy to do?
It's as if I'm being forced out of existance, out of my family and children's lives.
My children are as close to me as any parent child relationship, they mean everything to me, and I know they miss me very much.
Yet it feels as if they are being taken away from me.

View expressed above are intended for gathering support off this web site

#746424 03/19/03 09:09 AM
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 103
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I know how you are feeling, my H left me and my 8 kids and are staying with my in-laws, they do not answer the phone when they know I am calling, I have been with him for 15 years and now he wants no contact with me. I feel like I have been thrown away. All I can say is your not alone, and just give her space, that is what everyone keeps telling me. Good book James Dobson, Love must be tough....if you keep trying it will push her farther away. I would however get an attorney in order to see your kids.

Hang in there, God Bless

#746425 03/19/03 09:18 AM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 4,416
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by rufustfirefly:
<strong>In-laws are also taking care of my kids when I should be doing that and do to court order my rights as their parent are limited to once a week parenting.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How old are your kids and why did you allow a court order for once a week visitation? Just curious....

Bill

#746426 03/20/03 07:47 PM
Joined: Sep 2000
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If I'm not mistaken, your wife "kicked you out" six weeks ago and filed a Restraining Order against you, right? That's why there is only once a week parenting for now, right??

Rufus, if it was me, I would honor that Restraining Order or you are going to get in trouble. Now, I need to warn you that I am on the other side of this coin--I'm a wife who had to FILE restraining orders. I know that some women use them as legal leverage and as a weapon--but some women use them because they are afraid and they are trying to break free of an abusive relationship. I'll be blunt with you: I can not tell, based on just this forum, whether you are restrained as a legal tool or if you really were abusive.

HOWEVER, good, bad or otherwise, if you have a Restraining Order, it's going to tell you to not be in contact...no phone calls...only email...pick up kids here...don't go within so many yards of your wife or house...stuff like that. Every time that you break those rules, no matter HOW unfair it may seem to you, you are risking going to jail. Plain and simple. So if your R.O. says, "No Contact" and you're calling your wife to see if she'll be around to pick kids up, you are breaking your R.O.!!

I know you don't want to hear that, but for some reason a judge found reasonable cause to issue it. Your job now would be to 1) OBEY THE ORDER and 2) Gather any evidence/witnesses/etc. that you have for the permanent hearing--when you go before the judge and get to present to the judge why he SHOULDN'T make this order permanent. I guarantee you, though, that if you go before the judge and she says, "Well your honor, this should be made permanent because even with the R.O. he tried to contact me on X,Y, and Z and disregarded my saftey"--guess what?? It won't look good!

So, yeah, I sympathize that you've lost your wife and kids for now. Yes, I realize you feel like you are trying to be erased. But we are talking about the law here--and that's pretty simple and clear. Do not continue to try to contact your wife or you will get in trouble!!

CJ


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