</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Danny115:
<strong>Anna: Reading your post and those of the lovely Cinderella I got to thinking about what we who are now ready to move on with our lives, meet new people and try to find a little romance and happiness again, expect when it comes to a member of the opposite sex. I wonder what shapes the criteria we have in judging people? Is it the same criteria we had when we were in our teens and twenties? Is the things we seek in another person now the exact opposite of our ex husbands or wives?
You are looking for a Christian, Cinderella is looking for a Prince Charming with deep pockets. I started dating again about 6 months ago and I had very definite ideas about what kind of women I wanted to go out with. And you know what? Much to my surprise I realized that you just can't have a "checklist" because you end up cutting yourself off from people who, although they may not be Christian, or Princely, or rich or, in my case, much younger, they just might have some kind of magic spark which attracts you. Some of the best dates I've had since my divorce where with women who didn't meet any of my so-called "criteria"
In other words there are a lot of great guys out there who may not attend church every Sunday, or don't ride a white horse and carry a glass slipper in their pocket, but they just might have the capacity to charm you, make you laugh, and most important- make you feel good about yourself.
Danny</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Cinderella's thread is now hard to read due to the long URL, so I am posting a comment to you here.
We should learn by our mistakes of our past and the things I have learned is there are differences that will interfere in a long term relationship so make it a little easier and learn from those mistakes...
There are a few things on my check list I will not compromise.
1. My future spouse must be a Christian and go to church regulary.
My ex was not a Christian so I spent 17 years going to church each Sunday and each Wednesday night by myself.
He had different views on church because he wasn't a Christian and he often sided with the kids on missing for something he wanted to do.
I want a man strong in his faith, I want someone to go to church with me and share that part of my life.
There's a loneliness you have as a Christian when your religion is not shared with the man you love. So that's one I will not compromise.
2. No serious addictive behaviors; smoking, drinking heavily...etc.
3. A man who is content with his life and his choices made. Someone who doesn't dwell on the past and who has goals for the future.
My ex dwelled on his past mistakes and was never happy.
4. Someone who mainly has the fruits of the spirit. Love, peace, joy, kindness, etc.
There were red flags all over the place before I married my ex, I refused to take them in to account. He didn't have most of the Fruits of the Spirit, he wasn't at peace with himself, he didn't have joy in his life, he was always unhappy...
He had more of the things God warns me to stay away from; Discord, envy, drunkenness, etc, and I didn't listen to God last time.
5. Someone active and loves the outdoors.
My ex loved sitting in front of the tv and the computer and staying in doors. There was always a lonliness in my life when the person I loved did not share my enthusiasm for doing something other than sitting in this house all weekend, every weekend.
Maybe I would have a good date or two with ones who didn't meet my criteria but in the scheme of things, one or two fun dates aren't worth it.
I made so many mistakes last time, yet I stayed in my marriage and overlooked these because I believe marriage is forever. I found happiness in other ways and accepted just living a single life married, because that was the way it was. Now, I don't want to compromise certain things this time around. I am hoping the man I marry will be in my life until we die, so I believe God is giving me a second chance this time to get it right, I don't plan to let myself down again or God.
I do appreciate your comments though, and even though I disagree I still think you are pretty cool and like you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
ANNA
<small>[ March 22, 2003, 09:52 AM: Message edited by: Anna2000 ]</small>
