hello people. just found this board and thought i'd say hello. never thought i'd be at a board like this. nice to have found it though. thanks 1 and all

Well Welcome!!! It's not the place that any of us wanted to be!!! But it's a pretty awesome place to be when going through all of this.

It's a great support system, our friends only want to hear so much from us and then they put us on ignore and we need to talk and share with others, and here it's people that are going through the same thing or have gone through the same thing.

So please if you want post your story (don't worry about the length) let us know how it is that we might be of help to you!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

thanks for the comments daybreak. i know what you mean by the people you know going on ignore thing. i found out about the separation early jan. when i called home to say hello. asked how she was doing and she replied i'm moving out. i was a little taken by surprise. we continued to live together via separate rooms for 3 weeks. she's been gone now for 2 months. i have'nt spoke to her in 9days now. actually had the courage to ask her for complete separation for a couple of weeks. since then i've been cleaning house, inside me and actual house. turning my home into my nest i suppose. wish she would actually discuss what has actually happened with us but she's like a stone wall now. she did discuss feelings she had about another person that made her realize there's more out there. i thought we had resolved that but turns out she ended up writing a few letters and making a few phone calls later on as well after that discussions. it was hard to hear that she had this backup person when she moved out. i did help her move out without any problems. she only lives 3 miles away. she says it was to make seeing our dog easier, but it does bother me having her so close. we have'nt started any paperwork for a legal separation or divorce though. we're still sharing joint acct. for our individual counseling and pet needs. this has allowed me time to be me though. i'm finding that i actually deserved to be loved and want to love people in return. i would love to have children but at 41 i'm not to sure anymore. she said she denied me them because she said i did'nt deserve them. and yet she's decided it's ok for her to remarry and have kids. this is so confusing. i don't want a divorce but would not deny her it nor fight about it. for now everyone thinks i'm going nuts. my niece was asking why i was all of a sudden so nice and not a grump anymore:) sometimes i guess you have to stepback regardless of cost and reanalyze your position in life. i could have been a better husband and friend to everyone. my wife has told some people she does'nt even recognize me anymore. there was no fighting,yelling and the other junk that can come with something like this. i know she's mad about that. she's turned me into a monster that in actuality i'm not. guess it made it easier for her to move that way. what a surprise that has been for her and me both. life will go on and i will try to reconcile if she so desires. in the meantime i'm just gonna work on me. i'll find out about divorce hopefully before next year. only 10 months to go before d-day. now if only my clock would quit ticking. my sister inlaw is gonna go nuts. she said i could borrow the 2 little ones if i like though. dirty diapers and all:) thanks for letting me speak even if it was just a bunch of rambling. thanks people

Hey!

Glad you found this place. It can be a lifesaver! I've been here for 3 years and doubt I wil leave any time soon! LOL I've shared my separation, divorce and remarriage with the people here. And I've made some lifelong friends in the process.

Ramble as much as you want!

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi there - speak as much as you want anytime you want. That's what we are here for, for each other.

You will find that regardless of what prompted your spouse to leave, they usually have to say negative things about you...it seems part and parcel of the process. It's their justification.

My stbxh used to tell me he would gladly die for me and I believe he would have...now he rarely speaks to me and when he does he avoids eye contact - guilt over the OW he has as his soulmate now. And of course it's my fault, I drove him to it. He just can't tell me exactly how.

Life has a way of taking us down paths we never dreamed we'd be walking. And this path is surely the roughest one I ever hope to travel. Hang in there and take it one day at a time. Take care of yourself first and leave the doors of communication open with your spouse. She might never respond, but then again, who knows? And you will know that you made every effort and in that you will find a measure of peace.