Help, we are a couple who have been together for 6 years (not married) and have a 4 year old son together. From the beginning of our relationship he told me that he loved for me to wear corsets, garters and stockings. I did, often just to please him. About 1-1/2 years ago my mate has finally told me that he enjoys wearing women's intimate garments, and get sexually turned on by them and that he loves dressing completely as a woman. I was taken back a bit by this surprise and I told him that it would definitely take some time for me to get used to this whole new scenario. I decided that I wouldn't let it be a problem for me and that I would try to participate as much as I could. It now seems that he has no interest in sex with me unless I am wearing these old fashioned girdles & stockings, and he has even worn women's girdles and stocking when we made love. He has always had a hot & cold sex drive & I always needed to be "dressed up" for him to be aroused. I realize now that this had been the case from the beginning of our relationship 6 years ago but I just didn't realize it. He has made it clear in not so many words that the only time he is aroused by me is when I am wearing girdles and corsets and stockings. As soon as I wear these he becomes very interested in me and loves to feel the garters and stockings under my skirt, but he doesn't always want to make love. If I don't wear them on a regular basis I notice that his mood becomes very angry and he get moody and difficult to be around. He ignores the kids and picks fights with me. We have not slept together for 9 months and I am distraught over our total lack of intimacy. I have seen him viewing girdle sites on the internet and also at crossdressing sites as well he/she videos. I am not sure what all this means but I am at my wit's end. We have gone to couples counseling but these sessions are geared toward us understanding each other's feelings and not his personal behavior. He doesn't think he needs individual sessions, so nothing is getting better. He has now taken a job in Paris for 2 years, which I didn't feel comfortable with. He took it anyway and he thinks I will be joining him in June when school is over. Right now our tele conversations are very short and are mainly about the baby. He says that maybe time away from each other may help but I feel abandoned and I think he is running away from facing something. What do you make of this behavior? I feel desperate and wonder if I should consider looking for intimacy somewhere else?<P>

I can understand it must be stressful to not feel loved & appreciated for you as who you are and not what you wear. If he doesn't have enough consideration for your feelings to marry you after all those years and only appreciates you for being his model, why hang around? You are special and need to be appreciated. Peace to you.

Call 800 NEW-LIFE They can help you with this. I'm sorry to hear of all of this. It must be very stressful trying toplease someone who is never pleased. I was the same way with my wife. We are now separated. Also, read the book, "Boundaries" by Townsen and Cloud. You can get it at a Christian bookstore. Don't let that scare you away. The principles are really awsome. It will totally change you for the better and may have the same affect on him. Ted TGattino@aol.com