ps...would be great to get together with you guys

we can go to beach or something..casinos..find our fortune and buy our own island where we make up the rules LOL

Smiles, Dawn

Dawn,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Would you believe H said exact thing to me when I first met him??? ... "smile, blondie, you can make it"

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That made me laugh - it must have been the thing to say "back in the day" Where did you go to college? We went to Phila Univ. and had a blast. WH just never really got out of that stage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Smile Blondie !!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

D.

{{{WGTT}}}

It always seems hardest while you are waiting for them to get something you sent, isn't it? Sounds like he may be thinking about things a bit, even though he doesn't have your letter yet.

Kind of like teenagers, you just sort of have to be there to guide them, but they are going to make their own decisions anyway. You just hope you have given them enough information for them to make the right choice.

I tried that for a while, until I realized that ex really never would change, never would consider himself accountable for anything he had done. Your H sounds like he can come back.

Take care of yourself and let the next few days run in a coast type of mode.

Lori

Hi, how you holdin up?

We went to Glassboro State College (Now Rowan University).

Its funny...after all this time..26 years..I CAN smile and yes I can make it!!!

Smiles,
Dawn

Willgetthruthis,

My heart go out to you. My H had 3 years sober DEC. Had a slip 3 weeks ago while living with OW.She called me and asked what to do. I tolled her call 911. She did and they 302 Him.

He called me I picked up OW went to hospital were he told her it was over. My kids were there to. He had no concact since home, but I know he wants to leave again. I feel the most importent thing is for him to stay sober. Becuse of course he is no good to anyone when he not.

I try to keep my detachment in place. It is so hard on the kids. I do love having him home, and I'll love him enough to let him go.I'd rather loose him to the OW. Then have him die from drinking. I will include in my prayers.

Hang in there, Kathy

Just a quick post - this made my day-

In talking with WH's (real) friend apparently there have been problems between OW2 and WH.
NO! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> There have been credit cards run up NO! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> So mine were not the only ones <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> We both said that we were so shocked to hear that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Thanks for all who posted - it is sooo nice to know that (cyber) people are there for you & that your not alone. I'll respond later.

Havn't heard from WH since Fri which is unusual.

Blessings,

D.

I just got off the phone with WH & he told me that he had gone to Church last Friday night with the guy who was going to buy our business, but didn't. WH said it was pretty interesting & he would tell me later. WH let me know that the guy he went with was going to call me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

D.

I posted April 2nd on the prayer thread -

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> INTERESTING ----

I just got off the phone with WH & he told me that he had gone to Church last Friday night with the guy who was going to buy our business, but didn't. WH said it was pretty interesting & he would tell me later. WH let me know that the guy he went with was going to call me. ???

WH is allowing the Lord to move on him ..........

Also found out today that WH & OW2 are having problems That there were credit cards run up and disagreements So mine weren't the only ones! Gee, I am so shocked that they are having problems.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I have gotten a sense that I should not have sent the letter. The feeling stayed with me & I called BIL to ask him to retrieve it. He said he would, but then got tied up & went out of town. He asked his daughter (my neice) to get the mail which she did today. I told her to throw away the letter to WH.

When Steve Harley and I worked on what to say, he suggested that I ask him a question - what is his plan to restore our M? I feel now that I should do this in person and not through a letter and actually ask the question. Last time I did ask WH his answer was "to spend some time together to see if we still have something" (Oct 2002) Well, he is making a way for that, he's selling off the stuff in the business & apartment.

I can tell the Lord is working on WH. Tonight on the way to our Christian Business Networking, I told my friend that God has put some very strong Christians in WH life. She broke out laughing and praising the Lord, that she had prayed for that!

On the other hand I am not saying that I will just take him back the way he is, but I get the sense that I should not shut the door at this momment. I want and need a REAL relationship and that alcohol & drugs can not be a part of that. Neither can I participate in a sick relationship. I have grown into a new person. Up until very recently I figured WH was gone for good, now I am not so sure.

The topic tonight was -
Ask God 1st
Do it God's way
Don't forget (God and become complacent)

One of the things that was said that at times when we look at God's way it doesn't make sense to us, or we think it should be done another way. God's way is the perfect way and ends up much better than we could ever have imagined.

That's what I am hearing tonight. DO IT MY WAY - I KNOW IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO YOU BUT DO IT ANYWAY.

Basically it boils down to asking WH what his plans are to restore our M, what will he do to recover from addictions, to build my trust in him?
If he doesn't have an answer, stay separated and keep on course & let go with love and a clear concious.

Blessings,

D.

wgtt, It's so hard to stay in acceptance of God's will. But, you're doing a great job! I'm trying to do the same, to stop trying to force solutions and wait for God's will to unfold for me. No matter how any of our situations turn out, I believe that what God has in store for us is better than we could have imagined!

Why do I do this ??????????????????????????????

What was I thinking? WH calls today because we got in a deposit for a job that really is OS's but WH is trying to take over. He wants me to Western Union him money (that I am ok with cuz I know he has to get to the jobsite which is 14 hours away)

Then, he wants the bank routing numbers to pay on 2 of his credit cards. I ask him what is the budget for this job? He tells me then I say we need to be sure to have enough for the mortgage, etc. It's all about him.

Today I opened up a 2nd business account (with just my signature) at the same bank & put a good deal of the money in there so WH wouldn't have access to it. I just checked and it already transferred. WHEW, that was close.

It's amazing he has been able to stay on the phone when he wants something but when he doesn't want to talk he claims low battery.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Yes this is a vent - I don't want to take this out on anyone else. Plus I need to stay clear headed on this one. WH is like a mac truck who will run over anything in his way.

When I talked to OS this morning (before WH wanted $) OS said he didn't like his Dad trying to come in and take over this job and territory. He said that we (OS & I) had been building this and now that it didn't work out for Dad up there he's comming here.

My plan was to talk to WH & if he didn't have a plan for recovery from drugs and for our M, then to tell him that I picked up a package at the courthouse and would be filing by filling out the forms ourselves. Now, I'm wondering if he keeps doing what he is doing, to go ahead and file with an attorney. (Cost to start process $2000, which I don't have - would probably have to borrow)

I don't want to over react, yet I need to protect me and the kids so we feel safe. It would have been easier if WH had stayed up there and kept doing what he was doing, then I would have filed and not have (hopefully) to deal with.

I'm not sure how much to tell the kids. WH has denied that he has a problem with drugs and is bad mouthing his friend who blew the whistle on him, saying that it was blown out of proportion.

I need wisdom!!!!

Blessings,

D.