I pasted this from my post on Cajunky's prayer group thread. I think its well worth looking into. The religious references in the videos are not overpowering, just sometimes mention "God" or "the Lord" at times. I am one of the "ye of little faith" but found it very comforting and helpful. Any further references to Bible stuff is basically homework in the workbook. You wouldnt have to do it if you didnt want to. But the videos are very good and the groups afterward are a good support system.

Thru work, someome introduced me to a video series about divorce called Divorce Care. It is a series of about 12 videos- 1 per week, about meeting another - when is the right time?; how to be a role model for your kids; dealing with lonliness/depression; finances etc. After the video they break into groups & do some talking/sharing. I went, even though its into video 10. I plan to continue when it starts again. I liked the people alot & we went to lunch afterwards. This program is generally held at a church & does have a non-demoninational christian slant to it, but not too much so that I am comfortable with it. I plan to do the whole series.

I may even slightly think of the singles group at the church also. I have no intention of meeting any man for romance (Right now thats a big UGH! I still love my now ex-husband). But I am so alone & sad & feel so abandoned that I would love the additional support & to go do some fun things as a group. My own small group of friends are married & often busy with spouse & kids. The singles group activities are fun & I am thinking of that one.

Anyway, I know some of you have strong faith & think this would be a great program for you to check into. To find out if there is a program being led (usually thru a church) in your area, log onto www.divorcecare.org

The Divorce Care workbook talks in the introduction about finding God. Talks about the sun & moon revolving around the earth & what would be left if a planet were to disappear.
What does your life revolve around? Spouse? Kids? Health? Finances? If all that were to be taken away, whats left for you to revolve around? God.

Also in the book after the video there is some questions & study about the video you saw, for the next 6 days until the next video/group. It refers you to certain passages/stories in the bible on what that person's experience was? What was Jesus response? What can we learn from this? etc. But you do all this at home by yourself. THere really is no religious pressure in watching the videos & meeting the group. You dont have to talk if you dont want to, can just listen to others. I feel good on Sundays now & maybe someday I will edge my way into maybe going to a service.

Check out www.divorcecare.org. Hopefully, there is a DivorceCare in your town. Many things I've heard, I heard here first!! The principles are the same! Work on yourself, heal before a new relationship, pray etc!! Thinking of you all.

CLG.

I highly recommend Divorce Support Groups. My support group isn't Divorce Cares, it is more of a discussion group.
I urge people to find one that is right for you. Sometimes the mix of people or format isn't right, but may be at another time.
A friend went to a Divorce Cares group and the only attendees were the "angry" people, who were still blaming their spouses. Not a friendly place. But possibly the next time it was held, the group may have been calmer.
There are so many resources available to people. Even if you are not religious, take advantage of them. I am attending programs at two churches which are not my denomination, but are immensely helpful.

For the Children, see if there is a Rainbows program in your area. Ours started again for the Spring, and I can see how much it's helped the girls.

Great group of people...and the concepts are really done well...Good place for support!!!

Just wanted to say that I've been to 2 Divorce Care videos/group meetings & there has not been alot of spouse bashing at all, no matter who wanted the Divorce! We meet to talk about what we got out of that weeks particular video and can talk about our situations if we want. Yes, some are very hurt and are filing for D, but even still have not bashed their spouses! It is very supportive & the videos are very good.

I am not a very religious person, but I still get alot out of it. Yes, God is mentioned sometimes in the vidoes, but it is not overwhelming or pushy. You take what you want from it.

Last week was about "forgiveness" or being willing to think about forgiveness. It does not mean that you tell the other person what they did is okay or that they are off the hook for hurting you, or that you were not hurt. It means that you will try to let go of the anger, bitterness etc that is controlling your life because of the particular situation & are moving on from letting those thoughts/feelings consume you.

I have found the support very helpful. No one has told me that I am better off or that my H was a jerk etc (though I may feel that way at times). They just want me to learn a positive way with coping what I have been dealt with.

One man in the group had his wife move out for over a month. I was not in the group at the time to hear his situation, but it was a wake up call for him. Though she initially refused, his wife has joined him in counseling outside of the Divorce Care & came to the videos. They each are in differnt groups and are back together & working on Reconsiliation!! Neither talked bad about the other, just had talked about their own feelings.

I think any support program like this is worth looking into, and giving it a try at least once.