Well I have hit another emotional storm regarding my kids. My STBX is still involved with his 3 cousin which lives in another city plus all his other lust conquest here in the city.

He is doing everything he can to coerce and manipulte our kids to accept his incestual relationship with his cousin. It does not stop.

From leaving her photos all around his pad, in our family photo album, her love making appreication notes, condoms,bra's and panties lying around visably for my kids to see. He has gone so far in entrapping my daughter to pick him at his degenerate friend home under the premise to drive home where he sprung the news and getting his friend to accept his cousin. My daughter burst out crying and screamed at her dad she wouldn't accept his cousin. His friend says to her that's it's only a matter of time. She is like a komoto dragon and will settle down.

My daughter was so traumitzed she ran out of the house. STBX has lied to her about his other lust conquests she caught on the phone with last March.

STBX when he went to Europe invited her to stay at house while he was gone, so that she could get used to his women. Gave her his cell phone for a month with his girlfriends numbers.

When the kids confronted him he reverts back into denial and now saying that these women are only friends to him because they are nice to him.

My son's response to him was dad I don't condemn you but I don't condone your behaviors. STBX statement is gee's thanks son... I now realise I should have divorced your mom 12 yrs ago.

My daughter needed to borrow his vechile and he leaves a letter address to his monkey ho cousin on the seat for her to see.

The situation terribly upsets all of us.

I am struggling with sending his cousin a short brief letter stating that we are aware of there sick incestual relationship. Purpose of letter is set permanent emotional boundries that my children do not respect her or their dad and will not accept her/kids or his other lust conquests he is currently involved with..

We have seen all the photos, aware of the monies he has spent on their lustcapades at the expense of my kids security and happiness.

We have had enough of their headgames, manipulations to get my kids to accept her. It's not a matter of time but simply disgust.

Feedback would be appreciated as it is hard to restrain myself not to send her the fax or email.

Sick and tired.

(((((((((((((((((((mayflower))))))))))))))

Many of hugs back to you, I know it hurts and I know its hard. The pain I feel tonight kind of took me by surprise because I have been doing so good. I keep telling myself this too shall pass. If you have to write, write but don't send it, just let go, it's the hardest thing I am having to deal with but I know in the end I will be better for it. Hang in there....

Please see my other posts before you send a letter. It's not your business to write. If you need to write a letter, get out your feelings, but don't send it.
Stay strong and take the high road for your children.

Oh No! Not yet another Monkeyho on the scene!
I think that legal boundaries should be set in place regarding this guy's behavior and the kids.

He is dwindled as I would guess, into a sex perv. Kids do not need to be around this and he is just BLATANTLY FORCE FEEDING IT DOWN THEIR THROATS. Get some legal advice and personally, I would go for full custody to protect kids from this degrading lifestyle. It is wrong and as I might suspect, possibly illegal having sex with your relative.

But he is flaunting it everywhere and the bottom line is IT IS NOT HEALTHY. Let the letter come from a certified letter delivered by a process server regarding him of his presence required in a court of law for a DIVORCE. And let Mr. Hot Monkeylove (my new name for this monkey loving guy)know that these kids are not going to be pawns in his sick and dirty little shame game anymore.

Don't even address him personally anymore. He is sick and lost. He may need psychiatric help and maybe a sex addiction clinic stay as well. More issues than any MC can help...

Protect you legally and the kids legally and financially. By doing and taking the proper legal steps, maybe you can prevent unnecessary funds from leaving his wallet and into the furry little greedy paws of Ms. Monkeyho2 and rightly into the lives of his former family for support and their fresh start.

I know this hurts but my goodness. Know we are praying for you. He needs to hit bottom. And hit it dad gum hard. Needs to have reality come up and punch him in the stomach. And maybe a jail stay also.

Your situation, though emotionally painful, is easy. Your spouse is SO OBVIOUSLY WRONG... that you can turn your back on it all and walk away, evaluate things and life in your time and in your own way, and in the meantime... I'm thinking SOLE CUSTODY of the kids. Abandonment, desertion, bring it on and lay it on thick and all of a sudden. He's so messed up he won't even blink.

Incest is like drug addiction and abuse. It's a deal breaker. Get out and get on with life. Never look back.

Ahhhhh,,,,,,,,the love and support feels so good. How refreshing and heartwarming to actually connect with such good people who by golly are REAL and NORMAL.

I think after 21 years of marriage where one is never really heard, visable but merely a need filler, it is such a wonderful feeling to be heard and acknowledged.

Thanks to everyone for responding to the speed of light as my finger was getting real steaming trigger happy to push that send button on the fax machine. In an quick draw mac graw Annie Oakly style to monkey ho.

(Apparently his cousin (monkey ho) is deaf so communication is limited--other than her unlimited body self expressions. STBX father called her that I just added the ho part.

STBX managed to take sign language course this winter as he put it deepen their commmitted relationship. He never could be bothered to take a course on family matters but obviously his having a younger woman is motivation.

I guess he perfers her as his ideal perfect target, to control her so when they do finally connect in some form of a living arrangement he will most likely be able to keep all his other lust conquests and double lifestyle up without a problem as she won't have a clue or be able to know what he is ever up to, plus never have to be held accountable for anything.

I can't begin to tell you ladies how hard it was to keep my finger off the send button. I managed somehow to collect myself and threw my accumulated burn hot smoldering tazz engery, into cleaning the kitchen and so glad that I have held back until we could all the discuss the matter constructively.

Thankyou, ladies from the bottom of my heart the kitchen is sparkling clean!!!

The advice is great, I should have been more clearer and mentioned my daughter is 19 and my son 21 which puts them outside of the protective long arm of law other than protecting their rights to obtain child support so they can at least get their education, which flames me that STBX has jeopradized their educational and other life security.

Met with the lawyers last month, as when we all met several monthes before STBX announced on the day of negoiations. He is too is feeling grieved/stressed by the loss of the marriage of 21 yrs and had to go to Europe for a month to recover.

Big lie of course but little else could be done.STBX is doing everything to weasle out of his obligations. My lawyer laid out reality of what STBX will have to pay out to the children and I in support. He hit the roof in the office,and blamed me for again for life's responibilties/reality.

During our meeting it took both laywers to calm him down as he has burnt through so much monies. He presumed he was still on his free ectasy ride and that the family monies were only for him and his women. His posturing was such how dare the I and the children impede and interfer in his red sex zone of sex-capades.

Romance does take finance as they say, so he is steaming angry and now wanting one of our kids to come and live with him to cut his obligatory costs down. He went out several weeks ago to purchase a couch bed for them to sleep on.

Can you imagine him wanting to pull our children further down into his slimy pit with monkey ho and all his other young ho's.

Legally everything is on hold as he is obligated to produce/prove all his assests/statements dodging his heals. I have still have to be patient as all the other cruel sick things he has personally done to us is sickly frightening quite dangerous, which probably would't be too appropiate to share here.

Standing up to his psychopathic other nonsence has taken nerves of steel on my part to not allow myself to be intimated or show fear for his sick need for attention.

He is very much about power,domination and cruelty. I don't know this person anylonger he is something out of a horror movie. Mental illness is certainly frightening to live with.

So know that we are out on unchartered waters legally -what can I do other than send this letter to monkey ho? If our children were still teens or younger then I could have the law side to intervene to protect my kids from his degradation and debauchery.

I haven't raised our kids to be defiant/rebellious of him but trained them to be fairly respectful. Darn!

So for my kids to stand up him and understand the full impact of how sick he is spritiually and mentally is difficult for them! Both my children are trying to recover from the hedious nightmare which my STBX tried to harm me over a year ago for discovering his affairs and exposing his double lifestyle. He didn't appreciate being stood up to or counceling. A sad tragedy and nightmare which my children nor I will ever forget.

They have been both severly traumitized and their own emotional psyches hang in a delicate balance and they are quite fragile. They really don't need to be exposed further but he has gone completely over the deep end.

I feel so angry.....and yes he is quite the pyscho case with Narissic Personality Disorder. I read on Vaughan site that family incest is also apart of the disorder. Having sexual relations with a family member is said to like having sex with one obsessive vain conceited self. Like looking into the reflection of one's self.

Apart from his added alcholism addictions he is extremely sick, perserve now that he is on the loose he has totally revealed himself to be a sex addict. So the assessment is quite correct of him being a sex addict.

Very painful for my kids to deal with since he is an outright pathological liar to them. This is not the dad they know?

How do they deal with this they don't have the coping skills or assertiveness skills as he is unfortunately their dad? The most frustrating part to all our family situation is they will not come to counceling.
Partly because they are still in heavily in denial hanging onto the dad image they knew and trusted.

Their wounds are simply to painful to deal for them to face what their father tried to do to me was unspeakable and has now revealed himself to be a dengerate.

Our family has had a complete meltdown and the rebuilding process has moved in tidal waves and drops completely apart as soon as dad is on the scene.

Sadly he is punishing them in so many ways for not supporting him and this hurts them so much.

So in this case should monkey ho be told to give it up and stop playing thier sick games to have my kids accept her and leave our kids alone.

Simply for her/my STBX to move on with their sick deviant lives with her own young children. ( I do feel terrible for her children as they too are unfortunate victims here.)

I feel something needs to be said or what is kept in silence/secret will the darkness and wickedness grow larger.

I think I am having a very bad hair day!!????

Wondering how do I post my history as everyone else has done at the bottom. Does everyone copy and paste with each reply?

Not a lady. <wink>

At the top of the page in the middle-ish is a red link for "my profile". You can put a signature line. That's where everyone puts their histories. Try to keep it concise.

Good luck.