Single Parent Do’s & Don’ts
Do:
• Do work on your healing from the pain and hurt you are experiencing.
• Do consider the children’s feelings when designing the custody arrangements.
• Do continuously assure the children that they are loved always.
• Do share your feelings without expecting the children to solve your problems.
• Do work on a relationship with you former spouse FOR YOUR CHILDREN. Even though the marriage failed, the divorce can be successful.
• Do keep your relationships active with your children . . . don’t give up. Remember, you are the adult.
• Do keep your promises to your children and be on time. Children of all ages need security.
• Do establish two families for the children; two pillows, clothes, toys, etc.
• Do love your children; not only show them, but tell them.

Don’t
• Do not question children after their visits with the other parent
• Do not have them carry messages between parents.
• Do not ask the children to make decisions that belong to adults; ie who to invite to graduation.
• Do not lie to children or ask them to take sides.
• Do not drop out of your children’s lives . . . they will always need you.
• Do not expect them to accept changes involving them without considering their feelings too.
• Don’t criticize family members or a former spouse. Children love unconditionally.

This is from the Rainbows program book "The Single Symphony". To find a Rainbows class in your area try www.rainbows.org.

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Why exactlyare you divorcing your husband? I assume it is not merely because he is a conflict avoider or because he lacks communication skills, since those issues are so common in men that it has become a stereotype. Why is it a problem that he is "dragging out the divorce?" Does he not want a divorce? The advice commonly given by Harley and others to the BS is to not do anything to push the divorce forward and often to do what you can to slow it down, if you don't want a divorce.