<BR>First I must say I LOVE this site! It is just full of wonderful idea's, and helpful suggestions!<P>Now then, on to my problem. I have been married to a wonderful man for 2 1/2 years, we have been together for a total of 5 years. Seven months ago I told him that his use of all his internet time to look at porn hurt me, and he said it was no big deal, that he would stop. A month ago I found out that he didn't stop at all, only lied to me for these past months. Needless to say his lying has only added salt to the wound and distrust to our marriage. However, I feel that had I not told him it hurt me, he would not have lied to me. The way I feel about porn is that it is in a way mental cheating. I feel that he put me aside to have mental sex with these other women. I feel that once you say "I do" you are to "forsake all others" and that includes mental issues. I feel the mind is far more important than the body, for the body ages and dies, but the mind goes on forever. I feel that once the mind starts to wonder the body is not far behind. Right or wrong, this is how I feel. I feel that forsaking all others includes everything sexual, not just where the body is, but the mind also. My problem is that so many other people don't have a problem with porn, so why do I? If my hubby says it is no big deal, then why can't I feel the same way? He shows me he loves me in many little ways, but to me porn is a contradiction to that love. I don't like feeling this way, and I really wish I could see it the way others do. I feel selfish and obsessed with his mind, and don't feel that it is very healthy for anyone to be this "mental". So does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can change my views on this issue? Has anyone else felt this way about porn and have been able to change the way you felt? I guess I only wish for this change so that I won't feel so selfish with him, and so ,that should he go back to the porn, I won't be hurt by it again. I don't have bad self-esteem. I don't have a bad body, and am not ugly by any means. He hasn't always given me the amount of sex I want, but there is 14 yrs. age difference between us, so I have never heald it against him. I think maybe had I always gotten the amount of sex I wanted I wouldn't feel he was wasting energy on these pictures. He claims he has never masturbated to these pics, but that could also be a lie because he knows that would be more than I could take! We have been working on this problem for a month now. I have forgiven him, and he has stopped looking again, but I still wish I could be like others and not be hurt by it! Any advice would be appreciated!
