Hello:<BR>I'm throwing this question to the masses, because I'm strapped for answers. It's been 16 days since my wife told me that we were too different personalities and that she wanted a divorce. My wife and I have been married for about 2.5 yrs., and she told me that she hasn't loved me for a year and a half. We've recently moved away from our home into university family housing, and were trying to get our lives back on course. (We've been on low-income state help, faced eviction, utility disconnection, and etc).<BR>The reason that we had no money was that my wife had problems w/depression, and was unable to hold a job, then we were pregnant,and had a child to raise. When my daughter was 2 mos old, my wife came to me and said "she needed space, and she wanted to be alone". I resisted this, totally freaking out, and eventually she came back. Now, foreward to late Dec. my wife desides to go back to school and finish her degree. We find out that we can get into the university family housing, she goes on to tell me about "how good this will be for US, and how WE can get our lives straightened out". After being in school two weeks, she begins to change her IM screen name, her desktop password, and when she's on IM she says she fells like she's being watched by me. A week later she drops the bomb on me, "I don't love you anymore, and I want a divorce". I was crushed, and blamed her "friends" on IM. I talk to them and one tells me that he talks to her alot, and that she had probs when they started talking. MY wife then tells me that she wants me out of the house. I know that she is attracted to this guy(he's 18 and she's 23 with a 8month old), and he's told me that he doesn't like her that way. She insists that our problems are too great and she wants a divorce(she says that she feels like she could never love me again). We agreed to a one month seperation, and then to start conseling(she says she needs space to think). I try to communicate with her, but she says taht it's too late. I'm just heart sick. I want it to work out, and she tells me that counsleing will help me let go. I don't feel that our marriage was that bad, and I'll do anything to save it. Please help if you can. Thank you.

She's got diagnosed mental problems. She's had an Emotional Affair. And she's had a baby, which alters her hormonal balance and hence her thinking. <P>All three may be reasons that she's doing something wacky. Or not. There may be still other things at work.<P>Unfortunately, you <B>can't control</B> what other people do. You can only Plan A (read up on it on the MarriageBuilders site), until you're exhausted, then Plan B until you feel like you're done. <P>The child is an added complication, because depending on what the STBXW does, the chld's best interests may be served by you doing things that are definitely lovebusters. You'll have to do them regardless, potentially damaging the chances for reconciliation.<P>Good luck.

Thanks for the response, I called the counselor (that she used to see before we moved) today, the counsleor told me that my wife has bipolar disorder. Her actions are typical of the actions of a person in a hypo-manic to manic phase of bipolar disorder. Making bad(or rushed) decisions, being irritable, angering easily. <BR>The truble is that I'm staying an hour and a half away. I hope she doesn't crash-off of this high spot. This is bad, one of the things that lead persons with bipolar to be hospitalized. <BR>Please keep us in your prayers.<BR>Thank you.