Last Saturday i was served a personal protection order, a restraining order. Last night i was server the divorce papers. In her restraining order, she has nothing but lies, every bit of it is misleading. Why? How could she? Middle of Jan. she had a web page about her and her four children, last sentence was how Feb. 8 was her big day. Weeks later asking me about our childrens dates. I answered that Feb. 8 was one of our sons Bday, because i seen your web page. His b day is Feb. 5.She stated thats the day i plan on leaving your dunb a.s.s.. Feb. 10 she was still here. She came home from work that night so i asked her was she still planning on leaving. Reassuring her this is not what i want, but knowing i can't force her to stay. She said she was leaving. I then asked when, and why she hasn't left yet. She said she didn't know, and she hasn't lefdt yet because she had no place to go. I knew she had a place to go. Anyhow, i ended up stating that i can't emotionally handle this up and down. Every time i would reach for her, i was always denied, refused, rejected. I also said if thats the case then leave now, but it would be in the best interest our children stay here, own bedrooms, their house, security. Again, reassuring her this is not what i want. In her restraing order, she wrote how i forced her from our marital home, and refused to allow our children to leave witrh her. On March 13, she agreed to post pone divorce and go to counseling for a year.I had asked her to go to a counselor several times. He rreply this day was i have been telling you for three weeks give me a date. So that day, i set up an appointment. Knowing she filed for this restraining order. We spoke about the lawyers retaining fee. she said call the lawyer. So, foolish me, called her lawyer, because she is the only one with a lawyer. Her lawyers office said she had to call. So when i said this to wife, she said i never said my lawyer, i meant call a lawyer. She added her lawyer was on vacation.In the order she stated how two times i called the lawyer asking them to stop the divorce. I know i cannot do this. Our appointment day came, she wasn't there. When i asked her why, she said because i did not return our daughter on Sunday. This past Friday eve she called me, going against her own restraining order, said for me to write down my wants and needs referring to children, send it when i return our children to her the next day. I actually was scared to even allow this, thinking she was setting me up, so i would break the order, and she could or would have me arrested.She even said i needed to trust her, and keep the faith, i said i still do. Everything that we discussed, and would agree on, not one of them would she allow, or follow through with. She wanted me to meet her at her office one day to give her money. In her order she stated how she asked and told me not to harrass her, and to not come to har place of employment. One night after work she was to pick up just our son, she said how i called security stating a family emergency. I stated it was kind of important.
She had three pages in this order, and all of it is misleading. I was going to do nothing, because i want to save our marriage. You know, act like you don't care thing.
I think she is interested in somebody else. Feb.8 she and the children went bowling, just out of the blue. There was this guy there she works with, she basically said coincidently. She had told me they went because of our sons b day. I said that is family, it takes two to have a child with a b day, i should have been included. Her reason i wasn;t because i was at work, and it was the only time for open bowling. I said thats why we plan things. About two weeks after she moved out, she watched this huys dog, so him and his daughter could go some place for the week end. Then next wek he came to supposedly pay her.
I said this was disrespectful, that under the circumstances it should have never happened.
That Friday eve when she called me, she astually was reurning my call. I called her at thoffice, her comment when we first started talking was, have you been served yet. When she called me later, we were talking about that, and she said the reason she said that was because her boss was standing there tapping his foot. She also informed me howq i have let her down on two occassiond now. My reply was well wife, everything we have agreed on, you have not followed through with anything. She asked what? I said marriage counselor, you moving back in, post pone divorce. Any agreement with children.
Her first sons grandparents she choose as a neutral party for me to pick up and drop off children. One day they were firmly stating how they did not want to be involved, how they really don't know anything, wife hardly talks to them. Yet they could tell me how i broke this agreement and i did this or that. The first two times i was yelled at by these two people.
Weeks ago i called where she is staying, and i suggested that when she needs to get ahold of me referring to our children, to go thru my mom. It was like the next day she emailed me and my mom, with her own plan. Like it was all her idea.
Friday she told me how she knew i was behind buildins watching her while she was at work. I said come on wife. She then changed it and said it felt like it. I said lets be realistic. She has accused me of being abusive, flirting, and what ever else. Later when its like confirmed opposite, again her reply well it feels like it. She even accused me of stopping her from being mom, and seeing our children. Again, well it feels like it. Our children was calling her. I even brought them to her office so they could see her. When she moved out, she left without our two chgildren, by her choice, and our agreement. Yet accused me of stopping her as a parent. At about two and a half weeks later, our four year old was crying to see or talk to mom. we called her at office at 4:45. moms reply, i don't have time i have a training at 5:30. I suggested maybe she could call later, or stop by. Wheb she filed for the restraing order, she stated how i would try to force her, or talk her into coming here just to see her.
There is so much more. My only question still is, is there any chance of saving this marriage? This is what i want, but for awhile whatever i have wanted, she would make sure that it did not happen.
I do not want another broken family. She will now become responsible for her third. SHe was with her daughters dad for about two years. Her sons father, maybe six months to a year. Her first marriage, lasted about a year, at ten months, she was having an affair. Every relationship she has had over the last ten to twelve years, she has ended, but before she ended any of them, she would get involved with somebody else first. I knew of some of them, just not all of them until a few weeks ago, while packing i found like a journal type thing of hers.
Whenever any of us would try to play with her, she would always get mad, children would end up crying, or in trouble. Out if discipline sometimes she would give wedgies, by the time she was done their underwear would be ripped into one long piece. She also would refuse to involve(the last two years) herself in any of our trips to the beach, or out in the yard to play. She would always be involved as a family if we were working on the yard, or house chores though. But that was about it. Her computer projects always came first.
I used to think that people could or would change. I thought she had so many troubles or problems because she never found Mr. right. In some cases that may be true. I also know that a huge part of it, is her. I'm talking about at least twelve relationshios over maybe ten years before we were married. She has told me i'am selfish. At least i thought of our children in my selfish ways. I would have never subjected our children to this, again, i know there is help available. Help for her and myself, and our marriage. I also know there is such a thing as being responsible. That is what we were teaching our children. Our older children that is. Age range from 14 to 8. Divorcing is in my opinion being responsible. Especially when the majority of our marriage problems sten just from misunderstandings, and men from mars and momen from venus. So i thought, that is.
WHAT DO I DO???
Our two children are so sad. They never cry when mommy had to leave, but they always cried, and still do when daddy has to leave. Especially when they have to be dropped off back to mommy. By the way, mommy now has them because i trusted and listened to her. She said if we are going to be husband and wife, right now i cant trust you. If iam going to trust you, then you need to show me i can trust you and let me have the children. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
