Well i was served this morning with a personal protection order.
Last week end i was permitted tohave for the week end our two children Was suppose to return them on Sunday at Five. Our 4 year old started crying she wanted to stay with dad. So i returned a tearful 3 year old little boy. On Monday wife and myself had an appointment with a counselor. The day i asked her, when she said give her a date, that same second, she knew she was filing for this restraining order. Anyhow, she didnt make it to the counselor. A day later i asked her, she said because i didnt return our daughter. Before she moved out, she said that our boy would go with her, our daughter would stay with me. Also when she laft, she left without the children for about 2 1/2 weeks. Informing everyone that i stopped her from being mom, and from seeing the children. I thought she would still be ok that daughter stayed wqith me. She used it for an excuse i think.
Also, this past week while i had daughter, whenever id call her, she would answer the phone. Even act all nice and considerate. Allowed me to have our son for two days, until this morning.
I called her yesterday at work. Her first question was did i get served yet I said no, she said she really had to go, i asked if she would call me later to talk about the arrangement and agreement of our children visits. Well she called me later, said that the reason she asked about being served cuz her boss was standing right there. I feel i was sort of mislead now. We started talking about our children visitation. At one point she said i needed to keep the faith with her, and that she needed to be able to trust me. She also said that i needed to write on paper my wants and needs. I said you already know these. I asked her how do i get it to her. Return with the children in the morning. If i would have done this, i would have already violated her restraining order. She was trying to set me up.
She told me of a few more things i supposedly had said, si i reassured her no truth, its the third person trying to repeat, and or add their own version.
The timers i needed to get ahold of her either for the children, or once to sign our tax check. Often times i would hear her say call me back in ten minutes. Well what she said in her order against me, that i was harrasing her after she had said not to call her. One time when she said call in ten minutes, i called her back, no answer, so i called again, anyhow i must have called six times, because thats what she said in the order. Yes, i was set up. She lied. When she informed me she was leaving my dumb [censored] on Feb 8.
I reassured her this is not the path i want. Anyhow said our children should stay in their own homes and beds for sense of security reasons. Again, she wanted to leave with son, leave daughter here. I also said a double split is twice as bad to them.
On Fe10 she came home from work. I asked if she was still leaving, yes. Why didnt you. No place to go. So i said if your still planning on leaving then go, i cant handle this emotional roler coaster. After she said she was leaving, i noticed that she was in bed with me every night, and earlier then the norm. So i took this as maybe she really didnt want to leave. So i would try to reach for my wife. Afterall it was alread two months. Denied, rejected, refused. One night after she refused, after we fell asleep. somehow i started touching her, with just a finger. She responded by opening her legs, deep breathing, even had an orgasm. Well she ended up telling everybody that i sexually violated her. That she was sleeping the whole time. Just now it realized to me, if she was sleeping the whole time, then how could she know.
In her order, to the court, she said quote" husband was attempting to force me from marital home and refused to let me take children with me. The city police was called and husband was arrested for an outstanding traffic warrant violation" She lied, she actually lied. I never refused her to leave. She actually left for about two or three hours, with a bag in her hands saying something about her contacts. She also told her friends and co workers that i went to jail for domestic assault or abuse. Again, she lied. She lied even about refusing the children to leave with her, painted a picture that was not even correct.
She pulled up behind me at a gas station one day. I sen her pull up nut i continued to leave. She honked her horn. So i stopped. She told the courts how i had followed her. If i remember correct, this was the same day she agreed to postponing the divorce for a year and doing counseling. When i asked her, she said give her a date. She had no intentions. She alkso stated something about calling the lawyers office regards to the retainer fee. She did not specify what lawyer to call. Dqays later when we were talking about this, she said well i meant for you to call a lawyers office, not mine. I thought we were both on the same wave lenght, because she is the only one with a lawyer. After i called her lawyer, they said wife had to call. SO i called wife back, she said that her lawyer was on vacation. This ladt i think is manipulating me.
A week age i found like a journal type of thing. In her first marriage, after ten months she was into an affair. In her relationship with her first daughters dad, she would pour mik down drain, to go to town, actually to call her "lover" and make arrangements to meet again.
When she was with her first sons dad, she also had cheated on him, before they ended. She used to always tell me she never knew what fighting was until she met me. She also would tell me i always turned things around. At first i didnt even really understand what she really meant. In her letter i read about how her fights would be. How she learned how to turn things around on her boyfriend.
After she ws gone for awhile. We had agreed upon the children being with me while she worked, with her while i worked. The first night she was to only pick up 3 year old son, her choice. She gets out at 12 30. At 1 15 i phoned security, to page wife. I called three times. Also stated that it really was no emergency. SHe was suppose to pick up son.In the order she stated i said it was a family emergency. I was concerned because she had not picked up son yet. I called where she stays apologized to home owner when she answered, explained to her why i called. SHe said wait just a min, she is just pulling up. Wife said she changed her mind because it wsa to cold, and didnt want to wake him. That is not what she said in the order.
My wife, my partner in life, mother of my children, the lady i picked, is out to get me in jail. I really do not understand! Why! All the lies, my God. Its lie after lie. Everything is twisted.
She emailed me about a week ago, after i left her a message about getting ahold of my mkother when i can see the children. Every time i taslk to her, she accuses me of arguing her. Anyhow, she emailed me, about her neautral choice of people. Her first sons grandparents. ANd any further arrangements should be made trhru friend of court. Well the two times i met these neautral people, to eithe rpick up or drop the children off, both times they are yelling at me. One time they were firmly stating that they knew nothing, wife really does not talk to them much. Then they said they did not and do not want to be in the middle of our problems. Yet, they also informed me how i broke this agreement and did this ir that. This lady aslo called the bus garage, informing them that my dauhter will not be on any buses until further notice. I know this cuz i called the bus garage to let them know to pick daughter up here. I asked the approiate questions. Called grandma, and mom. Was told mom was sleeping. Asked grandma about this. She said she only said for her address only. Called bus garage back. Called wifes place again, was told wait, shes just now getting up. Wife gets on phone, yells at me for waking her, knowing her hours, and she had no coffee. yet. I asked her about the bus. She said she laid right there and listened to what grandma said. She was relaying and calling on wifes behalf. Yet, i woke her by calling her. What ih the ---- is this lady doing. This lady who also used to tell me im her best friend. I ask her sometimes, wife, remember me, im our children father. Remember, i have feelings here. I have been the primary care giver for all six of our children for years. Now, i have my two yanked from me. And this so called neautral grandma and grandpa, now have nore parental rights and choices then me, the father, actually the daddy. They now get to tuck my children in at bed time. Because mom works until 12 30 or 1 30. For years this mother wouldnt even get up in the mornings. I asked wife several times before why she does not tuck our children in at bed time, she said because they do not ask.
She has told me how i have rejected her continuosly ever since we have been together. I missed a lit candle one time. That was it.
She told me about a week before she left, she hated men. My reply was i think you hate me. Loking back, the way she has treated males in this house, i believe she does hate men. Well the next day she said she was just kidding.
She said her and one of her female friends were going to do something, cant remember what the something wsa, but that they were going to have a mattress strapped to their baks. I asked what that was suppose to mean, her reply was, she didnt know. SHe used to leave these joke about stupid people on th ecomputer screen, this started about two months before she left. She also would leave a full page sitting next to the computer. After she left, i took some of our wedding pictures, and champagne glasse and iother wedding items, displayed them on a shelf in the d. room. Tacked the stupid people paper under them/ She came in one day, and i noticed that it was gone.
I was served divorce papers two nights ago. In these papers, she had that i forced her and our children from marital home. Yet, in restraining order, i forced her to leave, refusing children to leave. What is going on? If i hire a lawyer, then that will send the message i'm preparing for the divorce. If i protest the restrainin gorder, again, i will like push her further away. If i do not react, and hire a lawyer, then i risk loosing alot. She has where she wants 420.00 a month for support. I only make 1200.00 a month. She makes alot more than me. Anyhow, i want to save my marriage. Any suggestions please?
Wife was mad at me because i never bought her a single pair of earrings. She was maad at me because she said i never listened to her. The day she was leaving she said she wished i loved her as much as she loved me. I was always crazy about my wife. I always brought her flowers, cards, sweets, called her while i was at work, thinking about you babe, and so on and so on. She was mad at me because she was convinced i was flirting with one of my bosses at work. Because i would talk about her some times. Not talk about her person though, talk about what happened at work. I tried to reassure my wife it was her i was in love with, was not interested in anybody else, was not looking for anybody else. Even made it a point to not mention this ladies name at all. In fact quite awile age i changed positions, was nowhere near the lady. Wife was also convinced that i was embarrassed of her, because i would not sty right by her side when she was in the store. When i was at work i couldn't, they have a time fraud thing there. They also have a sexual harrassment thing there, i would be to scared to even think about flirting with a lady higher up than me, fear of being fired. After she shared with me she thought i was embarrassed, i made it a point to stay with her longer when she came in, also went and located her a few times while she was there. She was mad at me because i would not get a nextel, or pager for while i was at work. Although i said to her that i can't have either when i'am on the clock. When i changed positions, i let her know that when she called me at work, all she had to do now was tell them i had a walkie. One day while we were there shopping, we were in the fabric section for quite awhile. So i asked her if me and one of the children could go to the sporting dept. She (at the time was ok with that) later, like a few weeks she informed me she was mad about it. SHe would do that often, agree with something, later she would tell me she was upset or bothered by what ever. Also the lady she was convinced i was flirting with, did not work in the sporting dept. The day she left she said she wished i loved her half as much as she loved me. She used to be so crazy in love with me and us. The last few years she would find every excuse to not allow me to have her in any sexual way. SHe even accused me of rejecting her over and over, in fact she said all the time.
She was mad at me because she thought i did nothin garound our house. When i was home, i had all six of our children. When she was home, she only had two. She was mad at me because she thought i would leave a breakfast mess for her to clean up. Yes at times it happened, but for the most part, i cleaned and washed dished before i left for work. She was maad at me all six times i had to take "her" van to work. Every time i took it, (because mine was dead, winter months) she had plans. I asked if she could leave a note stating when she had plans.Not one note was left from her. When i would take "her" van, i left a note stating that when she woke up, to call me and i would have the van here for her before she was ready to go. I could take early lunches. I would also take lunches and come home to see her. I always called her to see if she needed or wanted anything, personal or for the house.
Its almost like she has turned things around, and has had a quilty consious.
A few weeks ago, at 9am on Sunday asked if i could spend some time with our two children, i heard nothing but excuse, so i suggested i woul dtry some other day, she gave, asked do you really want to? So i picked them up. Two days later she was telling me how i broke her plans by taking the children. Whenever i would give, she would always change her mind, and end up giving. There are more situations i could share. Just like monthe ago she said she haad to start working on Sundays, she did for a few eeks. SHe missed a few eeks, and on super bowl Sunday, i mentioned i was asked over to a friends to watch the game. She said she had to work, so i gave. Once again, after i gave, she gave. But knowing if i would have went, then days later she would have been upset at me ance again.
Yes, i do want to save my marriage, but i think there are some issues, serious issues that may be preventing this. I have tried to get her into counseling, to no avail. I do so want to save our marriage, now i can't even get ahold of her, what do i do???

What do you do?

You get a good lawyer. You cannot be a father to your children in jail. You cannot earn a good living with a criminal record. You may have trouble in the future with the restraining order in your file.

GET A GOOD LAWYER.

God Bless,

JL

This is part of the fun and games associated with dv. Dv lawyers live and breathe this stuff. It's easy enough to make things up for the sole purpose of throwing you off guard and thereby gaining a psychological advantage.

Get a lawyer, go to court, defend yourself, and accept this as part of the game. Be more careful in the future. btw, the courts see this happen ALL THE TIME. No one is going to think poorly of you, but if you don't defend yourself, you're basically bowing your head and implying that the charges no matter how (un)truthful they might be... are TRUE.

Hold your head up. Don't play these games against your wife's lawyer. You need your own gladiator. And, stop talking to her without witnesses around.