I can't believe it. I have decided to go to dinner with this guy. He is a nice guy. Met him through some girlfriends. He knew I was married and going through divorce, but didn't know the details like I've been separated for a year and a half and that the divorce will be finished in about two weeks. So he told my friends he thought I was really cute but would back off until I was ready.

A little background info:
He is one year older. A stockbroker. Very stable. Very cute. He has a son who is within 3 weeks of my son's birthday. He has half custody of son. HE WAS A BS TOO! XW had an affair with her boss. All four of them were really good friends and would do stuff all the time together. The boss' wife was 8 mos. preggo with their second child when he found out. It was horrible. He stayed with W six mos to try to work things out but it was futile. XW got fired from her job and her OM went home to his W. Funny, but his XW told him the day before she got fired "I am so sorry to tell you this and I don't know how it happend, but it did. I am leaving tomorrow with boss. We are in love and are going to be together. It was meant to be." Ha ha ha ha. That is what they all say, WS's that is. Funny how it slaps them in the face. So W not only lost H, lost job and OM too. There's some moral to this story.

Anyway he runs into my girlfriends and again inquires about me. They finally tell him about the cheating, the lying, and only surface stuff about the abuse thing and that I will be in court again with him next week and signing papers within three weeks. He is astonished I am sane. He says "well, she must be really strong. And have a good character too." Friends say yea. And he says, could I email her and get her address from you guys? They give it to him. He is soooo sweet. I have only met him on two different occassions but he is very polite and cute. I have kept every male at a safe distance. I want to sign these papers with a clean heart. I will sign the papers after having been a faithful wife. I will not betray my vows I made to God.

So I tell C. (stockbroker) that I am not ready for dating yet but will be in a few weeks. He calls me later and says, "well a girl has to eat doesn't she? I mean it doesn't have to be a date thing..And there will be no kiss or anything. Just a date to talk. A date to eat food together." Then I get sick. He finds out. He says, "well then we will just sit reeeeally far apart. And you can order soup."

I ask Orchid and Bangarra. Seems fine. After all, no date expectations like the O.K. (obligatory kiss) or anything else. And he is really cute. And he has sworn that this is a friend date for now and basically that we can sit down and discuss the war in Iraq or world events or anything that makes us happy. He knows the boundaries. I made them clear. And I have eaten with other guys but those were clearly only friend material and with usually a girlfriend present.

This could be huge for me. A huge step towards moving on. Oh...BUT I WON'T BE FORWARDING ANY PHOTOS OF MY DINNER COMPANION TO DARTH...He emailed and said "I would love to see a photo of you with someone happy." Nope. I am a lady. No being cruel or unusual with punishment even if Darth deserves it.

So Darth has gotten his wish. I am gone. He has Ms. Family Values and maybe more...And I am moving on. And son comes home tomorrow after school.

In about six months we'll see how Darth likes this whole new life of mine. Except he will have to view it from waaay off as I will not let him in living this way he is. Only way I will ever have anything to do with him is if he changes and does a spiritual, emotional, and moral 180*. But by that time, he may have lost me forever.

So I am up, drinking hot tea and honey and trying to feel better before tonight.

Yippee!

Ok...I am getting ready. Running bubble bath now. I am calling Orchid who I hope is home now from running errands.

Geez this is fun. I feel like a very sick princess basically. It got cold here so I am bringing cool black leather jacket (short and fitted one) to wear over outfit.

He told me that at the wedding one of his cousins he hadn't seen in years told him he looked like Tom Cruise. I laughed and said that is great as long as you don't act like tom (a la Penelope?). So I gotta go.

Wish me luck. And remember it is JUST DINNER AND NOT A FULL FLEDGED DATE. AT LEAST NOT YET. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Have FUN! He sounds like a really nice guy. I second brokenX3's thought on an alcoholic drink will do wonders for the cold bug... kinds of shocks it into backing off and letting you have a good time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Anyway, just take it all one step at a time.

Lori <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I AM BACK!!!

Had two margaritas and difficulty swallowing as per my cold. But he was really cute and extreemely nice. Yes siree! He is just as cute as Darth once was...Except he has a soul. And our non date went well. We talked for over an hour and a half. Not about the middle east mind you. About the wedding he was in this weekend. About our sons, who are both four and within 3 weeks of same age. About life and in general. He asked for another non date with me. I am scared.

He is soooo cute and a decent person to boot. Master's in finance and is head of his division for a huge investment firm here in hotlanta.

However...He complained about the last girl he dated. CLAIMED SHE WAS TOO FAST. Can you believe a guy complaining about a girl who's too fast? I was in shock. I said, "well you just met the opposite of your xgf.". He laughed. He said that it is much nicer to know someone for whom they are and asked if I would be available for the fourth or fifth non dates.

Oh. And he said Darth...Now NAMED JETHRO AS PER THE PHOTOS. Said, "Jethro is either ruled by his crotch or has no brain and poor eyesight." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah a hahha ha hahah. I am giggling. He said that it would take one really morally ignorant man to decide to chase something else than me. Even after seven years of marriage. He then said he wanted one day more kids and was all about starting over. Funny, but he filed and ended his divorce about the same time I started the whole filing thing.

I am really wierded out. He is adorable and nice and educated and a good job and a good dad. Ok. It was just a friend thing and a non date. But he did ask me on another non date and for subsequent non dates.

I wonder if I am at all ready. If I were single and not having gone through all of this, I'd jump at./on/him. He is cute. But very nice too. It is just after your heart is ripped from your body athat you could possibly question everything and anything for years to come.

I am scared the scars left by JETHRO will last. I don't want them to stand in the way of my happiness and the happiness of my son. I see a guy with a kid same age. He has primary custody of son (thank God for GA and the fault divorce) and is a good guy. But I swear I feel like running. Once I actually felt panic and looked where the exits were. AM I GOING TO BECOME THE PERENNIAL RUNAWAY BRIDE AFTER MY DIVORCE?

I was so damn scared. and I understand why. He is cute. He is the kind ofguy I believed I would end up with. The kind of guy that I thought JETHRO was. But I am scared maybe to finally admit failure and the ultimate defeat of my attempts to save my marriage. He said so tonight. He said "It is ok. I know you feel wierd. You did all you could and you probably never believed you'd be sitting here in 2003 talking to some guy and spilling out about your life. You wanted the picket fence thing and the 2.5 children and so did I. But it is not over yet, life that is." I cringed.

Called Orchid on way home and teared up. Why was Jethro so cold and non caring? He had no reason to. Adn tonight confirmed that. I am confused and yet optimistic.

Gotta go. But one thing is clear. Life exists after the trauma of adultery and divorce. But it feels like wading into shark infested waters with zero visibility. Only comparison I know, as I am an amateur diver.

I'm glad to hear you had a great time! It is hard, isn't it? You have this wonderful man across from you and your mind is all a swirl because you can't help but think why Jethro did what he did, but at the same time you get scared because once upon a time you thought Jethro was wonderful, too. The first time going out after divorce/split is always kind of a doozy, but sounds like you were both pretty upfront about things. Learned the lessons and expect to move on with life and try to make it better.

I'm thrilled for you, it sounds like it was a really wonderful non-date, lol. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Lori

<small>[ April 12, 2003, 09:54 PM: Message edited by: TheNoteBookDude ]</small>

Harold,

1. Jethro was Jed's nephew.
2. JD is short for another called JDMAC (nice guy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

3. Darth may fit him better but he does look like Jethro! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Peach,
Glad to hear you had a nice time despite the extra germs. LOL!!!

Be your pleasant sweet self and I would be happy to see you treated like a lady for once. Darth's latest antics sure are making him a better candidate for the funny farm.

Take the high road on this issue, Peach. You are way way better than darth. OK?!?!?

Remember that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

hugz,
L.