and i spent it with my ex...

i know it's been a long time since i've posted or even given any support here... i have been going through my own growth spurt. and it's been good...i am feeling pretty positive and grateful lately.

i have finally let go and let God i believe... hopefully this time i will leave it there with Him...

ex-h came to az to visit me this weekend... we had a very nice weekend and enjoyed each others company emmensly... did i spell that right???

NEway. we didn't have any serious conversations. we just had an easy going and unassuming weekend. it was nice. i was sad when he left, but not hurt. not devastated and not clinging on like a leech... i know i still love him though...

it has been 2 years since we first sepetated and almost 2 years since our divorce became final... i have tried hard to let him go and move on, but for some reason neither of us seem to be fully able to do it...

now i have met a guy that really likes me. he even told me he loved me. but i'm not ready to have anyone in love with me... not yet...

am i crazy, simple or just too friggin weak for my own good???

You are not weak nor crazy...you said it yourself. You are growing. Some couples (ex) have some love for each other for a long time. Sometimes forever. But it may be a different KIND of love. Maybe a love of friendship, of company. Even though you cannot see yourself married to him again...in a strange way you still have feelings for him.

This is normal. In time, you may fall in love with someone new. When you are ready. Believe it or not, some ex-couples RE-MARRY within 5 years after they divorce. Not saying this is you. You just need more growth...more time. Tell your new friend about your feelings. He will understand and if he TRULY loves you, he will wait until you are ready. Even if he has to let you go.

Take care.

thank you for your support... i know that i have to trust God on this one... i fought the divorce, i fought the lack of interest in reconciling and i have played every manipulative game in the book to win him back... i have to just stop and let what will be, be...

i feel very good about my weekend. but i do want things to be different... i can't help wonderin what, when and who he's doing... that is the worse part for me. and to let him tell it he is all alone...

i know better... i would rather him tell me he is involved and let me deal with the treat of him falling for someone else. than for him to not tell me and then one day out of the blue hear that he is in love and about to be married or something... OMG... okay kim... et go, let God. let go, let God... i have to remember that...

((((((((((Kim))))))))))))))

My much older friend - - - - HAPPY Birthday..... You forgot to tell us how old this makes you....

Let's see if I remember correctly, your ummm.... as old as dirt, RIGHT.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

ha! ha! very funny... yea, i guess i am old as dirt.. but i still look goooooood!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

44 years young... just in case you want to get me a cake!!!

I'd make ya a cake sweetie but for that many candles I'd probably have to get a fire permit. You got to consider I'm from Kansas baby and we do thangs a little bit different 'round these parts.

Luvs ya,

Bill

thanks for bringing a smile to my face today bill... you really know how to make a girl smile...

how r u???

<small>[ April 12, 2003, 09:46 PM: Message edited by: TheNoteBookDude ]</small>

hey harold... how r u doing??? i've realized that i missed posting on the board... i'm so glad to here from you... when i saw the notebookdude, i looked at the name at the bottom of the post and i knew immediatley that it was sauron... i'm glad to hear from you...

things are going well and i have grown a lot... i'm not so sure about the moving on and the new man... i find that i am still in love with ex, just handling it more adult like and accepting my powerlessness and letting go and letting God...

i am happy though... i feel good...
peace and love to you my friend...
kim...

<small>[ April 12, 2003, 09:46 PM: Message edited by: TheNoteBookDude ]</small>

<small>[ April 12, 2003, 09:47 PM: Message edited by: TheNoteBookDude ]</small>

thanks for missing me!! that makes me feel honored and cherished... i'm soooo glad to get replys to my post. i didn't think i was thought of or missed...

it's been pretty hot here in Az too... we have had lots of rain though...

hey don't feel dumb for not having your passwords... it happens... you did the right thing. just keep it movin!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

p.s. i will stop by the other post... when i have a little time this afternoon... the COO of my company was terminated before i got to work this morning... kinda devastating... it just leaves me here in the office now... but i will drop by later...

have a great day!!!

peace and love...
kim...

<small>[ April 12, 2003, 09:47 PM: Message edited by: TheNoteBookDude ]</small>