I really appreciate the advice because I have really been an emotional wreck the past couple of days. I went to the orthopedic doctor today and I have to be in the sling for 3 weeks. I am going to allow the kids to keep speaking to the father but I just can't be in the room. I just feel like my life is falling apart. I sold my family home today and the people want to move in on Monday. This poses another problem because I don't know what to do with stbxh belongings. He has asked me to put them in storage and then send him the bill, I am having to do everything else why he sits on his butt and does nothing. I don't think it is my job to take care of his things he chose to walk out and leave the state and leave his things. I want to just put in to the curb and tell him to figure it out himself. Also I found out today that my H who is on disability and the children get their own check each month, called the ssi office and changed the address to his and that he had the kids so he could get their money each month. As I was sitting in the ssi office the lady calls him on the phone and says "sir are your children living with you?" he said NO apparently because she said "well you said they were, we are changing the addresses to your wifes and reporting this. She told me for this month he will have to send a cashier's check to me but he says he will send it to my father because he doesn't want me to get the money?????I have supported us for 15 years as if $339 is going to take care of all the needs of 8 children that doesn't even pay a 1/4 of the house payment. Anyway, I am totally torn on what to do with the stuff in the house, I know I am rambling but it was a very difficult day, I was at the house looking at the stuff feeling like someone just took my life away, all my memories, the pain was so intense I couldn't breathe, I want my family back so bad it just tears me apart, I feel like I will never heal it just hurts so bad. I found cards from him and cards that I had given him and he always signed I will love you forever and always. I can't believe this has happened to my life I know I am just in the midst of emotions right now and it will pass, but sometimes the pain is so bad that it overtakes me. I know I am strong I know I can do this, God will help me through this and me and my kids will survive.

Do I sound like I am losing it????

You will survive this....I have felt the same way but each time I admit my feelings and work through them, the pain lessens. It sounds like you did not have anything too different while living with STBXH....except that you have one less person to take care of now. His contribution to your family seemed to be minimal but left you with all work. If that is true, you are not missing out on much. You can live now without 24 hours/day resentment. I found that my resenting my WS all the time was so exhausting.

Pray for wisdom that God would show you how to handle his belongings. You are right in feeling resentful but you don't want to live there 24/7. Do you have any friends or relatives that could help you with this added concern of disposing of STBXH's belongings?

TW

momma,

No, you are not "losing it". And yes, you will survive.

I would say that if you WANT to pack up your H's belongings, then do it. If you don't, then don't. My ex left a lot of things here when he left. I didn't pack them for a long time, because it hurt too much. Finally, I packed it all up and put it outside on the carport. He never did come and get it and then in court, tried to say that I wouldn't give it to him. The judge gave him 30 days to come and get it. When he didn't, it became mine. I threw it away. The boys kept a few things that they wanted and I kept the baseball cards and other sports memorabilia for the kids. The rest went to the dump. I didn't want it and it was mine to throw away.

I'm glad you decided to let the kids speak to their father. In the long run, you'll be glad you did.

Mitzi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />