Hello all,
I have been over at the pregnancy/child forum for the last six months but I am now getting ready to see lawyer about a divorce.
A short (long) story about my situation, my H had A that resulted in a oc being born. I didn't find out until the oc was 1yr 7mths old, to say this has devastated my life is an understatement. At first we decided that we would keep the secret between us and try and work on saving our m. This meaning he would have nc with them until I could handle my emotions and get strong, he was in complete compliance with our decision. He was very remorseful and was really trying to save our m, I in the mean time was seeing a ic and taking anti-depressants, I was(am) having a real hard time with this new phase in my life. All was going as well as things could under the circumstances until I found out he was still having contact with ow and his oc and it was time to break the silence and I made him tell our sons 19 and 21. We have been m for 22 1/2 yrs and dated 5 yrs before that everyone (me included) thought we were the perfect couple and so... much in love. Our boys are in shock my oldest is in college and lives away from home and my yougest graduates from high school this year. So I'm also going through empty nest stuff. Thank goodness for my dog, we're best friends. The family's his and mine are stunned and are being supportive but the reality is my h wants contact with his child which happend to be a girl (something I've always wanted) and I can't deal with this and he has told me "She is blood and I love her" He has no relationship with the mother so he says but has contact because of the child. I am so jealous of this child because she has what I can't have and I know I can't compete with her, it's his child.
I am seeing a lawyer on Monday just to talk, as I type this I cry because I thought I would grow old with man and in my wildest dreams I wouldn't be dealing with something that belongs in a soap opera. I'm so sad!!! I've never been alone before and I still love my h but I know the damage is too great to get over. To many lies and the trust is gone, he didn't respect me.
I'm not sure if I even asked a question but I need support and hugs. LJ

ij1122,

I'm sorry for your pain. your not alone I pray for all who post.

Kathy

{{{{{{{{{{{LJ}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I totally relate to your topic title, I never thought I'd be here either. It's been 21 years since I met my H, though I've had no contact for the last year. This time apart has really helped me to heal, but I still sometimes get that feeling of disbelief that this can't really be happening.

Though, as far as I know, there's no OC, my H "loves" the OW's 5 yr. old daughter. He devastated his then 17 yr. old niece, who was living with us at the time, by telling her, after kicking all of us out of the house and moving OW in, how much he loved OW's little girl. His niece had been so close to him up until that time because she'd had a very strained relationship with her own father.

Despite the differences in the details, this is an unbelievably painful experience for all of us. As Kathy said, you're not alone.