28 years of marriage is a long time. Mine was after 25 years of marriage, and I and my husband are divorcing. He didn't want to save this marriage, he had an affair, and he is still searching to find himself. It is hard, when after all these years you and your husband put your lives together as one. You both did things together, lived a life together, had children together. You seem to be feeling alone, betrayed and heart is torn. These feelings are for real. These feelings are caused by depression and the pain of a divorce. A divorce is worse than death itself. I know, been through it. My father was seriously ill at the beginning of my hsubands affair, and steadily got worse, till he died a year ago. My fathers death was much easier than my husbands betrayal, and my heart torn.
I believe, that you should look into yourself. I believe that you should look into the feelings that you are feeling. Ask for help from your Dr. for prescription for anti-D. You will need additional help during this crisis. The feelings yo are having are so real. Would your husband be willing to go to marriage counseling. Or talk to a pastor, or someone from church? There is help, and your husband has hit his midlife crisis.
Do this for you, and make yourself look attractive in his eyes. Spruce up the place, make yourself look attractive, do you have a job? If not, maybe something you could do. Or volunteer work, that is something that I always wanted to do, but will not beable to now. Maybe you could help out in the schools, to help with reading, or math. There is so mnay things that you could get involved in to feel better about yourself, and feel better about being a caregiver.
As for your husband. He is suffering a MLC, he is suffering feeling inadequate. Your husband is hurting your heart, and this is so tough to deal with. Does your state have a legal separation. Maybe that is something he would agree on before a divorce.
Hopefully this will help. Hon, this is my HUG to you, you are special, and do need help.
