seen wife again yesterday when she returned the dog. we are sharing custody. it's been 2 months since we separated, 3 since she said she was moving out. it's seems so much easier to just not see her. she's no longer wearing wedding ring OUCH. put on a class ring instead. she has no intention of working on a reconciliation at all. we have to wait a year for divorce filing due to religious reasons. when do you just give up? this sad,mad,bluesy stuff just is'nt helping. she has a hard time seeing me cause i want to talk about things. i can't seem to help it though. don't want to lose my marriage without trying. seems it's better to try and save it and fail then to not try at all. we still have 9 1/2 months til filing but she is moving away from me farther each week. thought of giving her one of the books i ordered from this site but don't know if it would even be accepted. on a lighter note at least. after she left i wanted to ask her about going out for dinner for our anniv. but had forgotten to and did'nt want to call her. went to go get some depression relieving ice cream about an hour later and who rounds the corner at other end of aisle but her. she was doing the same thing. i did get to at least walk her to car and ask her then. said she'd think about it. got to remember to not get my hopes up. anyhow thanks for letting me ramble. any suggestions appreciated. thanks much

lonely - it is hard when you still love her, and she seems to be putting you at a distance. Been there, done it, and now divorcing. I wouldn't throw in the towel yet. Talk to her when she seems willing to talk. Maybe suggest an outing of walking in the park, with the dog. Or just going on a car drive with the dog, and maybe stopping to have a picnic. Or stopping at a restaurant to eat when looking at the country side. You could take the dog along, for the sake of having the dog there, and when the conversation gets a little rough, back away from the conversation started, and turning it to the dog or something else.

Go slow and easy. Let her take her steps at distancing. She is having a lot of turmoil inside of her. And it is showing. Tell her when you feel appropriate, that you love her. Express concern, and that time will be given to her to see what she would like to do. Who knows, maybe this separation will turn out that she needed time on her own to think about things.

This is so hard, and it causes a lot of turmoil in your life. Work on yourself. Show her that you are doing okay, not great, but okay. Do things with friends and family. Take the dog on outings, heck if you are near a river, rent a canoe and go canoeing. Or take the dog for a walk, or just go away for the weekend and take the dog. You could invite her for a canoe trip too.

Take care, and the pai you are experiencing is so real.

thanks faith. nice to hear from other people. amazing a dog is only thing that keeps us seeing each other. think i would be lost without him. never had any children so he's it. 165lb snoring mushball of a dog. go figure

I'm there with you man, only it sounds like you've had a lot more restraint that I did/do. Plus I have a Daughter instead of a dog. Other than that though sounds a lot like my W. I have stopped pushing her though. Seems a lot better, Its real hard for me though. I have custody of my D and whenever she asks where mommy is I about lose it. I know in the long run though things will be better, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Of course I'm hoping that it makes us stronger together but, I have started planning for a life without her just incase. Only time will tell. Good luck and keep your chin up.

Just a note, Men like you do my heart good. It helps with the hurt.A man I loved since I was 17 half my life could give up so easy. A lot of the women I work with say it was becuse he a man. Not true I know from reading your posts. I hope one day to find someone that can love me like that.

good luck, Kathy

kp6464--i know exactly what you are saying. It is really nice to know that their are men out their that have compassion in them...I attend the divorcecare class, and we have a gentlemen in their that tells how his wife is keeping him from his son. I see his pain and I know I would never do that to my stbxh...men have pain too, they just show it differently.