Hiya, I'LL GET STRAIGHT TO THE BOTTOM LINE!
Married in 1996
Wife put me through mental/emotional torment
(i.e. leaving "faeces" around the floor in home, swearing, always applying pressure on me for survival of marriage, did that, no response; continual verbal anguish of her words towards me)
Obeyed command to "wash her daily" with the Word of God
She despised the mediatation of the Word and prayer, jealous of my time with the Lord
Respected her and treated her well
Her family didn't like me, did no wrong to them
Left her in 2000 applied for divorce
Backslid 2000, returned to the Lord 2002
Attempted reconciliation, she stated she will not return to me because "she loves her mother too much"
...so, being a man who is determined to serve Christ, as this is how she met me, he stubborn coldness has not stopped...what does that make me?

Open up to me

God bless

Michael <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Well, Michael, since no one else is jumping in, I'll take a stab at this.

The reason I didn't respond before is that I don't exactly know what your question is! From what I can gather, in 1996 you got married and your W (wife) was a pretty sick woman--I mean, anyone who would leave feces around the house has bigger problems than anger management! Anyway, she was pretty abusive, but you kept praying for her and walking with God, and she didn't like it. Her family didn't like you.

Here's where it gets kind of muddy. For no apparent reason, you left her in 2000 and filed for divorce. What happened?? You were walking with God...and then what?? Did you have an affair or did she?? Anyway, you filed for divorce in 2000--was the divorce finalized?? Or has it been "on hold" for three years (that sounds unlikely)? My guess, just from hanging out here is that your divorce was eventually finalized.

Now, jump ahead two years to 2002. You came to your senses and started walking with God again--and I take it you spoke to your exW and tried to reconcile. Uh, did you try to date her or win back her heart, or did you just quote bible verses at her, or how did you try to accomplish this reconciliation?? Was there any bitterness during 2000 and 2001--during the divorce?? How did YOU behave then? How did SHE?? Was it an amicable split, or was there fighting and accusations? Was she hurt A LOT??

Literally, I do not know enough about your circumstances to even speak intelligently. However, my GUESS is that during the years between 2000 and 2001 that there were actions and behaviors that hurt her a lot. Hey, even if it was fairly amicable, a divorce is a painful thing to go through, and any disagreements just make it worse! So, look at it from her point of view. She's not being stubbornly cold--she is protecting herself from someone who got off track, left God, and hurt her very, VERY badly. As far as she's concerned, you could lose it again any time, and then she'd have to go through it all again!! OH NO!

Can you see what I mean? I think for a true remarriage/reconciliation to happen, you need to give it to God and HIS timing (not yours). Let God have time to prepare her heart, and don't force her or God to do it in your timeframe. Keep your focus on God and keep walking with Him--that's your job now--and let God do HIS job. Okay???

CJ

Granite,your not getting any replys because you didnt say much...Church people scare me lately,they sit there every sunday, praise the lord, and then go home and do all the things they know they should'nt do....ANd pass judgement on others that dont either.... and the worst ones are the "born again " people....I've gone to church steady for the last 9 years with my very religous wife, and my life has never been more screwed up, I dont get it....and she falls down more than any christian i've ever seen...I dont know if she cant hear the preacher, or if the rules just dont apply to her... but she's there every sunday.... the word HIPOCRIT comes to mind... {sorry about the spelling}.... in fact the church is full of people that seem to have hearing problems....I know used car dealers with higher morals and standards than some of the people i've met in church...not to say that all church people are like that... but i wish the ones that fall down a lot would stop slinging gods word at me and work on themselves more.. I think I'm taking a few sundays off... i need a break...

<small>[ April 12, 2003, 09:52 PM: Message edited by: TheNoteBookDude ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by GRANITE:
<strong>...so, being a man who is determined to serve Christ, as this is how she met me, her stubborn coldness has not stopped...what does that make me?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not exactly sure what the question is, but the Bible does say:

"But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace." (I Corinthians 7:15)

If your wife doesn't believe in the Lord and attempt reconciliation with you as the Bible urges her to do, I would say she is an "unbeliever."

Aloha,
Ms.O

<small>[ April 11, 2003, 09:30 PM: Message edited by: Ms.O ]</small>

Anybody who leaves feces around the house has some major issues. I question why you are attempting reconciliation with one who treated you so poorly in the past.

I can also relate to the poster's comments about "church people". I try to follow God's word as best as possible and live honestly, etc., but I continually find that some of the most rotten apples are people who claim to be "born again". It seems like some churches are a contest of who can say the longest prayer, show the most emotion, and who can best follow the rules. Many times, these rules have nothing to do with the Bible (smoking, drinking,etc.).

Sorry for the vent, but I feel like it hurts my own faith when I see things like this.