I received a notice from the Commonwealth of Mass that my STBX has requested a pre-trial hearing. Two items are checked off that he is contesting; support and something called 208, s 34 (I have no idea what that means so if anyone knows what it means, please enlighten me!) I asked my lawyer but he didn't have the time to talk to me about it. He said he would meet with me next week to discuss everything. So I thought I would try asking my friends at MB. Thanks for the help!
BH

<small>[ April 10, 2003, 05:46 PM: Message edited by: brokenhearted ]</small>

Look up on the internet under legal information or something. Your lawyer should answer your questions.

Thanks WF, I will do that.
BH

BH,

Check your state web site, you should be able to find out what it means.

I sat down before I talked with the lawyer and wrote down everything that I wanted and expected from xH. I wrote out why I wanted what I did and how I justified those things.

I got everything that I wanted!!!!!

dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Dawn! Thanks for the advice. I did check the web and found out some helpful information. I wrote down things for my lawyer and sent him an email. It seems that is the best way to communicate with this guy. He is always busy when I call or doesn't know the answer and will get back to me. I called him today and he told me he will get back to me next week to set up an appointment to talk about the issues. I asked him if he knew what my husband was contesting and he said No but would try to find out and let me know next week. Ughhh....it is so frustrating! I have spent so much money and nothing to show for it yet! Thanks again for the advice and I will do that before I go meet with him.
BH

BH,

"208, s 34" is the Massachusetts State Statute regarding Spousal Support. Here's a link that will give you the exact wording of that statute and section.

http://www.state.ma.us/legis/laws/mgl/208-34.htm

There are also subsections of this statute. They regard stuff like asking your spouse to leave the marital home and restraining orders...stuff like that. On the link above, just click "next section" and it will take you to the subsections. It's pretty simple, BH, he's challenging that he has to pay you "alimony" and furthermore, he doesn't want to mediate it--he wants to present his evidence and make you present YOUR evidence. Does that make sense??

I'm a little concerned that your lawyer doesn't know this statute "by heart". I'm sorry, but I'm not a lawyer and I don't play one on TV--and I knew what the statute is with just a little research. Seems to me that a family lawyer in the state of MA should know that statute!! IMHO, he ought to be able to take a few seconds to talk to you and explain to you what it is too...in layman's terms, you know.

Well, good luck! Hope this helps!

CJ

Thanks CJ! that does help a lot! My lawyer was great when I first started this whole process. But for the last few months, he has been so hard to get in touch with and when I do I don't get any answers. He said he will go over everything when we meet in person. But in the meantime, I am worrying about everything! The weird thing is when my lawyer is in court he is awesome and gets the job done. It is almost over (I hope), so I guess I will just be patient and make sure I know what I want. Thanks again for the information CJ!
BH

CJ - I just went in and re-read everything on the site you linked for me. It helped me so much! I know exactly what my STBX is thinking now. He doesn't want to split the equity of the land we own in Maine. We bought this piece of land (10 acres) back in 1988, cleared some of it and built a cabin. through the years, additions were built onto the cabin and it is now twice as big as my house! He now brings his new family up there (along with my son and daughter) and I was told "you can go up whenever you want, just let me know"! Well, How can I go up there to enjoy myself, when I know "she" has been there sleeping in my bed, cooking on my stove, etc., etc. So, I am requesting half of the equity the land. anyway, this is exactly what he is contesting. I thought it might be but after reading the statute, I know definitely. Thanks again CJ for your help. You are right, my lawyer should have known exactly what Sec. 34 pertained to. I think he just too busy to deal with me at the time. Now that the $2,000 retainer has been used up, he never has the time to talk to me. I can't afford to go to another attorney but I am going to keep a record of all the calls, emails, etc. and how many times my questions were not answered! sorry, I am rambling now. Take care and thanks again.

bh,

I think it is avery good idea, to keep track of what transpires when you talk with your lawyer. They charge for everything. I e mailed my lawyer more so that it would be shorter then a phone call and still got charged for him to read the e mail and then reply!!!! I wish that I would have kept track of when there was something accomplished from our conversing. But Hey xH is paying my lawyer fess, so guess it was his money I was trying to save!!! If his lawyer had done everything the way we had it written, it wouldn't have had to go back and forth between the two lawyers so often, his lawyer cost him on both sides!!!!

Don't let your stbxh and Juluwitch get away with the land and cabin. Did you help with the additions and things to the cabin, you should get equity for all of it, get two apprasials too!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Dawn,
Juluwitch!! I LOVE IT!!! Yup, I helped with the painting, putting up ceiling tiles, cleaning up after everything, cooking for everyone who was there to help, etc., etc. My H obviously did more work than I did, but I was there to help whenever he needed me to. Now Juluwitch gets to go up and enjoy it. It is beautiful up there and I really miss it. I will definitely get two estimates, especially since I am sure STBX will low ball it. I'm not looking forward to this at all...I am not very assertive! My lawyer will have to take care of things and he isn't instilling much confidence for me! Hopefully, our meeting will make me feel better.

How's it going with you? I hope things are getting easier for you and your kids. Please let me know how you are doing when you get a chance. Thanks Dawn!
BH

Hey bh,

I miss our chats!!!

You can do it and you will get assertive, that is setting boundries, you have already done that pretty well, this is just another boundry to set. Put your armour on Hon, you can and will do this!!!

Do you remember RAINEFELL? She was here when we first started and was 8 months pregnant, we talked about having to re-weld her armour to fit her ever changing body!!!! Use to make us both laugh thinking of this prego lady with fitted body armour on!!!

My kids are going to visit their dad this weekend!!! UGH!! I haven't come up with any non-cussing names for his wife. Still makes me mad that our daughter had to initiate meeting her stepmother!!! I don't want to ruin the kids time with their dad, but I would really like to make it rough on her!!! Perhaps get her insecurities up before they get there!!! Not nice I know, but hey she wasn't nice in taking my husband away!!! I even mailed her a letter asking her to leave him alone!!! And she wouldn't how nice was that!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Dawn...I miss them too! I'm amazed that your husband married someone without introducing her to your kids. It is incredible how the men we loved have turned into such selfish people. I just don't get it! My kids are going to H's Friday and Saturday but they are coming home on Sat. night. H is going to OW's parents for Easter dinner. Nice. So, I am going to go to my SIL's for dinner and spend the day with my in-laws. It should be interesting! As long as he is not there, I will be OK.
I do remember Rainefall...I wonder how she is doing. It made me smile just thinking of the ever changing armor!! I hope she is doing OK.
I feel the same way as you do about wanting to make it hard on OW. I always feel bad about it too, but I guess that is just human nature. They hurt us and we want them to hurt too. I'll put my thinking cap on and try to think of a non-cuss nickname for your OW. I'll let you know as soon as I can think of something really great! Orchid could probably think of one without blinking an eye! She is so great at that and at fog babble too! Well, have a great day my friend, and I'm sure I'll be talking to you again soon!
BH

bh,

RAINE, was doing ok the last time she had e mailed me, it's been awhile though!!! She was going to school full-time and working for her dad's auto body shop. X was seeing the boys a little more.

I always think of her when I think things are bad, and think how could she have had to go through this while being pregnant, that is to be one of those happy times in your life!!!

I think of it more and more and I really don't want my kids going, darn it it's not their place to make it easier on dad. Someone put it into this perspective for me a while ago, he has his kids here in SD and his wife in UT, his two worlds are seperated nicely, why would he want to mess with that?? Never once has he thought first of his kids in all of this. I don't know that I could even date someone that my kids didn't like, let alone marry them!!!! The part that bothers me is that this is ok with my kids that they haven't met their stepmother. It is kind of funny to call her stepmother to my xH he just loses it, "that's not what she is", I am thinking ok what is she? Home wrecker comes to mind, b!tc# comes to mind also, mmmmmmmm which one would he rather they call her!!!

It should be an interesting weekend I wish that I could be a fly on the wall, xH, new wife, her sister, her baby, my 21 yo son, my 18 yo daughter and her attitude, my 12 yo daughter and the dog, oh yeah! I am sending the dog to stay with them in a two bedroom apartment!!!

I do hope that my kids get the one on one time they need with their dad!!!!

C ya, Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />