So I have found myself in quite an internal struggle regarding my ex. I have been gone from this site for awhile now...moving on with my life etc. So I thought. I am really feeling pathetic these days

A quick recap:
Married in Aug 93
Discovered Affair(s) in Jan 00
He left me in Nov 00
I divorced him Aug 01

I am not sure all the details are necessary here..but suffice to say I have relapsed. He and I (he initiated it) exchanged friendly emails last Nov 02. I really felt good about the exchanges. He is 3000 miles away so I never hear from him or deal with him (no kids etc). I really had a calm and felt that perhaps I had reached that peaceful place with our divorce. I was no longer angry etc.

Fast forward. I found some things of his recently and sent him a note asking where I should mail them to (don't have his address) he promptly email back and we have exchanged a couple of instant messages about it. Well he called me yesterday selling a vehicle that apparently has the word "and" on it so I have to sign off on it (although I am not legally responsible for the car) anyway. He asked if I would grant limited power of attorney for someone at his office to sign off on the selling of the car. I said I was happy to help.
So here the downward spiral begins

The womans name is the woman that I believed he was having an affair with but could never be certain. Turns out she does not work with him any longer (at the job he left me for so I thought in Nov 00). So the issue is I have been asked to grant authority to this woman to sign on my behalf...and he is still lying about her role. I think. Why does this matter to me...he is gone...

So now the advice: Do I ask him about it? This stirred up a lot of emotions that I didn't think I had anymore(perhaps it was finding the old stuff etc) about why he just up and left me one day while we were "working" things out.

If I don't ask him about it...any adivice as to how to move past this and get on with my life? I really feel stuck right now. His behaviour had indicicated that perhaps he was gay...out to prove to the world he wasn't by having so many affairs at once..now I wonder

Did he do all these bad things (multiple affairs, walking out on me etc) so he could replace me with her? Have I been that big of a fool?

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GRANT HIM OR ANYONE ELSE POWER OF ATTORNEY!

What did the court decide in the divorce about the vehicle?

If it was NOT addressed in the divorce decree, tell him to pony up half of what it’s worth and then you will sign over the title.

If it was addressed in the decree, then he can go to the court clerk & get them to sign it.

Have him send you the title to sign and return it to him.

(although I am not legally responsible for the car)
Your name is on the title as owner so yes, you are as responsible as him for the vehicle.

Don't give power of attorney...

If specified in decree, he should be able to take care of it. There should be a clause that states that the paperwork to ensure that the terms of the decree are enforced should be completed.

If it's not, you in theory could ask for money to sign the title. But that's your own choice.

I would have to agree-don't give anyone your power of attorney.

The other thing I have to say is this:

Don't ask! If he says yes, what good will it do? He's gone, the marriage is over--you have to put it behind you. If he says no, you probably won't believe him anyway. And, again, what good would it do?

The other thing: If you think he may be gay, then I would say he probably is, regardless of how he denies. My gf was married to a guy who vehemently denied those rumors, married after their divorce, has fathered 2 sons, and now, finally, has admitted that he was gay all along. Like I said, if you get the vibe, you're probably right.

In the final analysis, it doesn't really matter who he wants to replace you with. The fact is that he no longer wants to be with you. It hurts, I know. But the sooner you stop asking why and accepting it, the sooner you can move on.

How? Get a hobby. Sounds corny but it works. What have you always wanted to learn to do? Take a class to learn it. Interested in learning Russian? Join a class at the community college. Do all the things you've always wanted to do. Cultivate friendships. Volunteer at the SPCA or the Red Cross. Make yourself busy. I think this will help you begin again. And keep your mind busy.

Thanks for your responses. Man I was pretty jet lagged last night so I appreciate your thoughtful insight. This morning when I woke up I thought to myself...what the heck am I thinking...this guy is up to his old same ole same ole tricks. First off he had refinanced the car loan per the divorce doc's what in fact he seems to have done is paid off the loan that had my name still attached to it (hence why my name showed up on the title) so he lied for over 2 years now. So he has put me in jeopardy. Nice.

No power of attorney...can you imagine the nerve to even ask and then...OK whatever we won't go there .. Now we do this the right and legal way where I am protected.

I was doing well and these recent events shook me...perhaps I was overloaded on the southern memories of our past (spent the week in the south, our contact etc) anyway!

Golf anyone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />