I got part 2 of the divorce petition yesterday. Still have not talked to my stbxh.

He filed end of Feb...few days early of 6 months of seperation. He must have been eargerly counting the days to rush right in there asap to be rid of me.

Well, apparently, the way it goes in LA, is
1. they file (under a law saying if you are seperated 180 days w/o reconciliation, then you can have a divorce w/o the other party's consent) and you get sent a dandy little form requesting you to sign off any legal rights basically to protest...saying you agree to the a divorce and that all has been divided.
I did not sign.
2. You are sent a similar version of this letter the following month --only certified--giving you 30 days to respond to the petition. I recieved this yesterday <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I assume it all is automatic after he originally filed...I guess he didn;t have to come in to his lawyer's office and tell her to send the certified copy...there were no new signitures..just the xeroxed one...but y'all tell me. Does the lawyer have to ask the petitioner before sending it?

Now, I was told that I could further ignore this. And the final step will be that my now very stbxh will have to dish out another $200 or so to have a local lawyer (local to me) formally type out a letter informing me that (whether I like it or not), I am being divorced...and it doesn't even have to be given to me personally...just mailed is fine. And I guess that my stbxh would have to officially request this step and hire a lawyer down here in Houston to finish me off. That would put the dissolution of our marriage right about the time of what would have been our 4th anniversary (May 29).

For those who don't know...I am scrapping pennies trying to afford my education, and living with my parents who even buy my gas....because I am broke. I have been stalling for a variety of reasons..b/c I am a moron and I live in a fantasy world in the back of my mind where it all ends up happy and this will somehow all not be real...and then also because of insurance benefits and because he's presently paying for our truck, which I have. Somehow..I think I need to find a way to pay for a lawyer.

I was told that since I am not fighting for anything, that there's no point in hiring one. That it's too expensive to hire one just to find fault in the divorce as opposed to signing his uncontested version. But then when do we discuss the part about getting our names off each other's stuff? Like the car titles?

background: there's no kids, property was divided by me (I left him almost everything b/c I was sad)..and he signed these papers saying that all was divided...which I still have to find out if that means he is now liable to pay off the truck since when he signed these papers...he was paying it. And all divided would include finances..I think.

Now..he is active duty air force. If anyone knows what I am entitled to after 3years, 3 months marriage (we informally seperated at the end of August last year) please let me know. Esp. in reguards to extended health benefits for former spouses. (you know..as "adult" as I try to be when saying 'former spouses'...I still twinge and feel my gut squeeze in on itself)

This tax thing is screwing me...since we filed jointly last year and seperatly this year..It's looking like I'll end up paying or getting nothing back because his income was so high last year...can I sue him for half of the return?

I sound like I am money-grubbing all I can... and I am reluctant to do anything of the sort because I am not that type. But everyone I talk to is telling me I am being far too "nice" about all this--giving away everything to him and letting him have everyting we worked for. It's hard to look at him as a theif who's taking "my half" but apparently, that's what I am supposed to do.

I am soooo sad and terrified. I have not spoken to him since August 02, and this stupid petiton is all I have gotten from him. I cannot beleive this is what he wants..that it's so damn easy to wipe me off on some paper towel and throw me away like I never exisited. But As far as I can tell, that's what he's done. Ha--and I didn't think I had any heart left to break....shows me.

<small>[ April 12, 2003, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: Epiph0ny ]</small>

Ephi,

I am sorry that you are at this point in your life and stbxh is being so thoughtless in how he deals with this.

As a former spouse of AD AF for 21 years, I hate to tell you that you are probably not entitled to anything from the AF. I didn't even get full health. I have to pay $230 a year plus cost share all appointments off base and Hospital stays.

Find a base or post there in your area and go to legal, they should be able to explain how the things work between two states.

It it is worth formally getting your name off of anything and everything!!! Give the trusck back if your name isn't going to be on it as he can say it is stolen. Write to all of your creditors and ask for them to take your name off and to send you a copy of that being done, SAVE THESE!!!

You can't set and wonder about the what ifs you must move on!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Married only 3 years you will not get anything from the military.

I didn't even get full health. I have to pay $230 a year plus cost share all appointments off base and Hospital stays.
He has to pay the same. That is full health benefits.

Thing is Chris he isn't retired yet!!! No where does it say that you only get Tricare basic, if you want Tricare prime you have to pay the same as the retirees. Without it being in writing somewhere that you don't get to keep the same as what you already have, you are in for a pretty big shock. I knew that once he retired I would have to pay the family rate for me and the girls.

Oh Well !!! I learned!!!
Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />