Hi everyone, I just talked to my kids and was feeling a mixed bag of emotions. My wife (we are separated but still living together, however I have had to leave the house for a 5 week "cooling off" period ....mandated by the court) has been putting a great deal of effort into spending time with the kids and doing fun things with them. She has postponed her last 4 weeks of college to spend as much time helping the kids (emotionally). All this is great for the kids and I am happy they are spending "quality time" with their mother.
BUT I also feel hurt because for the last 10 years she has done very little of this. I have always missed my wife’s full participation in our family and our marriage. I have been the primary care giver, house keeper and fun parent for our kids since they were born (I am much more maternal then she is). Some people in our town have asked if I was a single parent!
In my wife’s defense, she has had breast cancer twice, and enrolled in college because it was something she "had” to do. I understand that she needed to find meaning in her life and felt a calling to go to nursing school, but I missed her SO much while she was out following her dreams. And I was being supportive and caring for the family the best way I could (it was quite overwhelming at times).
Now that her education is almost over she has said she wants a divorce and expects me to leave the home. This hurts very very deep because of everything I have done for her and we have been together since high school (22 years).
All of that aside I feel both happy for the kids that their Mom is finally giving them the attention they need.......but it hurts me deeply because this is everything I have ever longed for!
Why couldn't she do that from within the marriage??
Thanks for listening, Ed