Has anybody ever dealt with this? My exH is paying CS to his 1st W for her OC--sounds like a soap opera. He suspected that the child was not his when she was pregnant, but chose to leave things as they were for the sake of the child. Well a few years ago (while he & I were together), she admitted to him (on the phone with me listening) that the child's bio father was actually someone else, and even told his name. After H and I separated, the contact between him and his children from first marriage, which had been sporadic at best, stopped altogether. Oh, and to add to all this, his 1st W told the child that exH is not his "real" father, and set up a visit for the child to have with his bio father shortly after she admitted it, and the man didn't even bother to show up. So now the child is 13 years old, and for all intents and purposes, does not have a father. He has a stepfather, my exH is his legal father but there is NC, and he has a bio father he has never met.

After exH and I divorced, he finally tried to take it to court, where according to him, the judge said "You've been paying for this child for this long, you can keep on paying." I do not understand this. He didn't actually know that he was not the bio father until the child was like 8 years old. And then the court says it's too late to do anything now. And I have heard of other men being in that situation and have even read that some states (mine in particular) RARELY do a DNA test after the child is 2 years old.

Ok, here's my question. He has asked me for advice about this, and I told him the only things that I know he could do would be to pay for a dna test and find out, then go back to court with results in hand. Problems with this are--he can't afford it and he has not even seen the child in years, and his exW won't agree to it without it being court-ordered. Does anyone know of any other options he may have in this situation?

This probably sounds strange to anyone who knows anything about exH's and my history (abuse, etc.), me asking for advice for him and all. We are on speaking terms and everyone (me, H, exH and exH's W) has been getting along well lately (will wonders never cease).

<small>[ April 15, 2003, 10:21 PM: Message edited by: luvbird ]</small>

I'm just confused by the math.
If H is 25 now, and has a 13 YO son, he was 12 when he got the woman pregnant?????
Did I miss something here?

No not my H NOW--LOL! My exH (he's 35).

Oops--I see where I put an H instead of exH--better fix that!

I see how it can be confusing--like I said, it's like a soap opera (or worse).

Send him here:

ccj-forum@childrensjustice.org

They will tell him anything he needs to know.

Mshermi

Thanks mshermi--I went to that site and started checking it out but was having trouble getting around in it so I will try again tomorrow. I would send him there, but he doesn't know much about computers or the internet so even if I told him where to go he probably wouldn't know what to do. I'm just trying to find out whatever I can that will help him, and will relay the info to him.