What should I do? My W and I have been living separate for almost a month now. We have a 3 year old Daughter who is living with me. I take her to her mothers house on weekends and the last couple weeks seemed to be fine. This last weekend my W invited me to have dinner with them. It was real nice, I helped her prepair the food and we sat down to a real nice meal. First one in over 2 months. After dinner we ended up taking our D for a walk and got ice cream and played checkers while we ate it. Everything was great. Oh and the day before that when I dropped my D off my W actually asked me for a hug before I left. That was the first time she had done that in a really long time. Anyway, after we got back from the walk I got my D ready to go and we said by to my W and we left. I was feeling really good about things. Though maybe she is finally realizing what she is doing. Well, my W demanded weeks ago that she have our D for Easter weekend. I agreed since I have her 90% of the time I like it when she spends time with her. I asked my W a couple days ago if I could have our D for a few hours on Saturday for a party her teacher is having for all the kids in her class. She ended up telling me it was okay for me to do that. So then today, she called and asked me if I was going to keep her all day and night Saturday. I told her I didn't plan on it because its her weekend. She kept pushing and I ended up asking her what she had planned on doing becuase she obviously didn't want our D Saturday now. She told me some crap story about going somewhere with a co-worker. I don't know, anyway, after I told her I planned on bringing our D back to her house after the party she pretty much just said fine, whatever. I know she is angry but, it really makes me mad when she crys and whines that she never sees her D. Then she seems to work almost every Saturday and then when she gets her for 3 straight days she wants to go out with someone she WORKS with! WTH is her deal? She's driving me insane. I want my W back, I want her to spend time with out D and she seems to only want to see either of us when its convenient for her or if its going to help her or something. Should I just tell her to go do whatever she wants to do and I keep our D for her? Should I just leave our D with her for the entire weekend and not take her to the party? Should I give up on getting her back all together? I'm so tired of the rollercoaster ride. She doesn't realize how bad she is affecting both me and our D and its really starting to make me mad.

^^^bump^^^

You seem to do great! obviously, you cant force your wife to either look after her, or to come back. BUT you can be a great dad (which you are), hold out your hand. It very much looks like she is still on her destructive ego-trip. Only she can now get herself out of that hole.
What's her story? Guess, there's an affair?

N

Thanks for the reply Nick, I was starting to feel invisible. I do realize there is nothing I can do to make her realize. That was my reason for backing off and focusing on me and my Daughter. It has seemed to work out much better. It just kills me when she acts like things are great than starts talking about separation papers or divorce papers. I am dealing with her crazy mood swings much better now. I usually just put an end to the meeting or conversation and leave or whatever. I try to avoid conflict at all costs. I get a little too worked up when we get into it. Things will get better with time. I started alone I can end alone if thats what it comes to.

As for the W's story? She's just messed up. Constantly brings up things from the past. Even things from her childhood. Swears I'm controlling. Says I don't let her be "Her", whatever. I have let her do whatever she wanted to do. Thats how she ended up leaving. Friends of hers that I have never met know more about my marital problems than I do. So of course they tell her to leave so she does. She "Says" she never slept with anyone but me. She has said she kissed a guy while we were apart. I'm in the Marine Corps so that happens sometimes. When she was kissing on that guy thats when our problems really got bad. I don't know if I believe that she hasn't done more than that with him or with someone else. Like I said though she says she hasn't. I want to believe her but it seams like everytime we're apart there ends up being people saying she was doing things while I was gone. Nothing I can do about that though. I realize that and it doesn't really bother me. The issue that bothers me is the guy she kissed. it really seemed like there was a lot more with that. When we got back together after she was with him she just seemed a lot different. Started wanting to do more outragious sexual stuff that we never did before and stuff like that.. Just seemed odd to me. Anyway. Thats pretty much it for her. She's got issues and needs help but hasn't taken any steps to get it yet. Has excuse after excuse for why she hasn't. One day she'll wake up and her eyes will see through the fog to see her life upside down and unfortunatly for her it will probably be too late. I hope not though. I would like to have her back. Everyone have a great Easter. I'm going to Myrtle Beach to get some sun burn.