I have finally decided to bite the bullet and take control of this situation. To refresh a memory ot two, just last friday my W came clean and admitted to a hot n heavy 1 year EA and 6 month PA, I figure she was more or less living with him out of town while on business. Any way, I am filing for seperation.

Of course, she is now feeling remorse, but has not begged me not to file or told OM to get out of her life (he is actually pretty mad, she's been lying to him). In fact I asked her today if she still loves OM and she replied a weak "I do not THINK so." Hmmmm the proverbial nail in the coffin I believe.

I guess since I have went through the ringer over the last six months, I can hurt no more. I have been spending more time with friends and family and have been having a good time. However, I feel guilty about not crying and feeling very remorseful by finally ending this myth of a marriage. We have a son, 2 1/2, and am truly sorry for turning his life upside down. I guess that would be my only reason to cry. I hate to hide behind him as a shield and as a reason not to file. Part of me would like to take her back, but I have given her plenty of opportunity to this very minute. I guess I need to live for myself now.

Anyone else out there filed with dry eyes?? Am I bad for not feeling worse? Many people have told me that I am doing the right thing, how about some unbiased opinions? Thanks. Brandon.

I can relate to how you are feeling; there's a point I reached (in about the same time as you did) when I became numb to the emotional pain. She couldn't hurt me anymore. And stranger still, I became aware of feeling better when she wasn't around.

I told my WS that I didn't want to see her again until she wanted to be my wife. If not, I asked her to file for divorce if that's what she really wanted. She did. And after a month now she calls me weekly saying she misses me and how empty her life is.

I really don't care. I have told her that it doesn't need to be this difficult, to come home and let's work things out. But until she does, it's all a stupid loss. Her PA ended up doing no good for her at all and that's what hurts me; that it was for nothing. She sold me out and trashed our marriage for nothing. No more OM, no more money, no better lifestyle, not freedom or happiness, just nothing.

So, you are not a bad guy for being dry eyed. Maybe you're starting to get over it. Maybe like me, you have reached the point where you've had enough.

Hey Brandon, IrishLass here. I'm fairly new to MB. I also have dry eyes. After spending days reading all the forum posts here on MB, I decided to shut myself away and focus on all the reasons our marriage failed. Did a lot of praying too. I have gone through quite a grief process over the past 2 years with the usual ups and downs on the roller coaster of emotions and have experienced a bout of depression as well.

Guess my point is that I finally feel relief now that I have made the decision to divorce. Everything is slowly falling into place and I am preparing to move out. I am lucky in that we have moved on from the fighting, numerous attempts at reconciliation, etc. and we are simply cohabitating. We can get an uncontested divorce here in Louisiana so things should be final in about 6 months.

Take the bull by the horns and get things started. You mentioned your marriage was a 'myth' and from your post, I sense you have already come to terms with the decision to divorce. Your son is too young to understand much, so just love him with all your heart and see him as often as you can.

One thing I have learned from watching my stbxh deal with his ex-w with regard to custody of their kids (son 13 and daughter 8)is that it takes two to argue. He takes the high road and won't allow her to push his buttons like she used to be able to. It's easier on the kids. Often he would give up his weekend with his kids just to keep her quiet. That way she had no reason to speak badly about him to the kids. It works well for them. She has 'turned the corner' and is beginning to show more maturity and their kids are reaping the benefits.

Marriage is sacred and vows are said with complete commitment. I did not make my decision lightly and it has taken me almost a year. However, when I made the decision, it was with such relief and I am at peace with myself and the Lord.

Stay positive and let go of the guilt. Keep seeing your family and friends. Sounds like you are on the right track! For some of us, divorce is the only solution. Sending prayers your way. Have a Happy Easter!

IrishLass, I too live in La., I called it a seperation because you have to wait the six months and I guess a miracle can happend between now and then. My terminology is just wrong. The thing that gets me is that she had 9-10 months where she could have woke up, quit what she was doing, and tried to fix things. Now that I have had enough, she calls me 10 times a day crying and supposedly wanting to fix it. 6 days ago she wanted no part of me, wouldn't kiss, hug, or call. I have to believe she is just living in fear or that the OM finally ditched her. My app. with my attorney is Tuesday, so unless a miracle happens, I will officially be in this section.

Like Iron, I almost wish I was in your shoes, because your WS seems like she still doesn't know what she wants and maybe is not ready to come home. My WS evidently THINKS she is ready to do a 180 and asked if she could come home today and talk. I have been talking for 6 months to closed ears. She too knows how she trashed our lives for absolutely nothing. I told her she needs to go back to her nothing where she was six days ago. I just can not be suckered with feeling pity and sorrow for her.

On a lighter note, Monday when I told her of my plans, she was at OM's office. I heard him raising cane at her for talking to me. He sounded like the betrayed spouse, it was like watching Jerry Springer!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />