Hello! I'm a high school psychology student, and I'm conducting a marriage survey online for my psychology project on marriage. I'd appreciate it if you can take some time to answer the questions below! You may also e-mail me the answers at catherz@yahoo if you wish to not have it publicly posted. Thank you! Please try to help. <P>How many years have you been married? ____________<P>1. Approximately, how old are you?<P><BR>2. Who is working in the family? One or both? What kind of work do you do? Do you enjoy your work?<P>3. What decisions have you made about children? How many if any? What sex? What plans have you made for them?<P>4. Are your parents still living? How close to you do they live? Do you see them often?<P>5. How old were you both when you married? Was it a first marriage? A blended marriage? Are there children from a previous marriage?<P>6. Why did you want to get married?<P><BR>7. Do you feel that you were really ready for marriage? How can a person tell if he or she is ready beforehand for marriage?<P>8. How would you describe your marriage – very successful, adequate, nice but with some problems, a disappointment, etc.?<P>9. What have been the one or two biggest problems you’ve encountered in marriage?<P><BR>10. What have been the greatest joys or benefits you have gained from marriage?<P><BR>11. What do you think are the most important things that make for a good marriage?<P>12. If you are in a blended marriage, what problems have you encountered? What has been beneficial in the blended marriage?<P>13. What advice would you give to young people preparing for marriage?<P>14. If you could move time back and start over again in marriage, what changes would you make?<P>15. Any else you’d like to add?

Munch16;<P>Okay; here's one set of answers....remember, you should consider your source here as biased. We are on this forum because we have/or have had problems with our relationships! You need a control group to compare against or your data will be meaningless....remember the scientific method? {Sorry I'm a former Science teacher}.<P>How many years have you been married? _19.5 years. Approximately, how old are you? both 42<P><BR>2. Who is working in the family? One or both? <BR>Husband actually brings home the money...wife does all the work [hee hee]<BR>What kind of work do you do? He is a Cartoon Producer<BR>Do you enjoy your work? Yes-it is pretty cool!<P>3. What decisions have you made about children? Yes! <BR>How many if any? 2 <BR>What sex? M, F <BR>What plans have you made for them?<BR>Daughter graduates [valedictorian] in May plans to eventually go to law school. Son (13) plans to be a tennis pro.....I actually have no plans for them, except to help them reach their dreams, whatever they may be.<P>4. Are your parents still living? Yes<BR>How close to you do they live? 5 hours<BR>Do you see them often? 4-6 times per year<P>5. How old were you both when you married? Both 21<BR>Was it a first marriage? Yes<BR>A blended marriage? n/a<BR>Are there children from a previous marriage?<BR>n/a<P>6. Why did you want to get married? We were a good match...best friends, same college major, and had shared dreams for our future.<P>7. Do you feel that you were really ready for marriage? No, but at the time we thought we were.<BR>How can a person tell if he or she is ready beforehand for marriage? In my opinion, when a person is financially secure, emotionally secure and has a DEFINITE plan for their life, then it is time to align yourself with someone equal to yourself in those areas. [I had NOT accomplished all of these when I got married...I was simply blessed by God and given my husband to act as my guardian angel. My life with another could not have been so blessed].<P>8. How would you describe your marriage – very successful, adequate, nice but with some problems, a disappointment, etc.? <BR>Successful, but WITH EFFORT! Over the past two decades we have ebbed and flowed between being best friends and near strangers. I thank God that I found the Marriage Builders principles. They are a prescription for communication in a relationship.<P><BR>9. What have been the one or two biggest problems you’ve encountered in marriage? 1) How and where to spend money was a problem early in our marriage because it was in short supply. 2) the problem now is how to spend our TIME! In my humble opinion you MUST invest TIME in your spouse!<P><BR>10. What have been the greatest joys or benefits you have gained from marriage? Joys; my children, my memories, the laughs we share. Benefits; security-both financial and emotional.<P><BR>11. What do you think are the most important things that make for a good marriage? Understanding what makes your spouse happy and being more than willing to supply what they need. It also helps if you don't "keep score" too much. That being said, it is also crucial to let your spouse know what YOU need. I have learned through experience that my husband can not read my mine...or even the look on my face! I must actually TELL him what I want.<P>12. If you are in a blended marriage, what problems have you encountered? What has been beneficial in the blended marriage? n/a<P>13. What advice would you give to young people preparing for marriage? Learn to COMMUNICATE! Take the Marriage Builders Seminar! Had I known these principles 19 years ago I know that many the times I have suffered frustation could have been avoided. Most of those times were due to a lack of communicating my most important desires to my mate!<P>14. If you could move time back and start over again in marriage, what changes would you make? I wouldn't have required [or worked for] so many "things"...fewer dishes, fewer clothes...I would have spent more time sitting at the kitchen table with my husband early in the morning talking about "us", tickling my kids, riding horses, or soaking up the sunshine while fishing!<P>15. Any else you’d like to add? Yes, never sit on the potty while your spouse is in the bathtub...no matter HOW comfortable you are with them! [Gee I hope he reads this post!]<BR>Seriously, A marriage is a fragile and continually evolving entity. A person must be flexible... actually, I think 'malleable' might be the term. Don't be too set in your ways AFTER you are married. Before you are married...absolutely DO NOT misrepresent yourself. Take your time and choose your moral equal....remember it is a life-long contract! Finally, Pray a LOT!<P>

<P>How many years have you been married? <BR>24 years.<P>Aproximately, how old are you?<BR>47 years old<P><BR>Who is working in the family?<BR>One <P>What kind of work do you do? <BR>Pastor/Systems Analyst <P>Do you enjoy your work? <BR>Ministry, YES. Secular work, NO.<P>What decisions have you made about children? <BR>We have 5, lost one during preganacy. <P>What sex? <BR>One boy (22) Three girls (21, 16 & 5) One unknown and with the Lord. <P>What plans have you made for them? <BR>Son is about to marry and plans to serve the Lord full time. Daughter #1 is pursuing a degree in IT and Business Management, Daughter #2 is still deciding, Daughter #3 is too busy playing with the dogs and terrorizing the house.<P>Are your parents still living? <BR>Yes<P>How close to you do they live?<BR>About 20 minutes away<P>Do you see them often?<BR>Not often enough but frequently<P>How old were you both when you married?<BR>I was 22 and my wife was 18.<P>Was it a first marriage?<BR>Yes<P>A blended marriage?<BR>Don't know what you mean here.<P>Are there children from a previous marriage?<BR>Neither of us were married before and had no children.<P>Why did you want to get married?<BR>I hungered for a companion to serve the Lord with.<P>Do you feel that you were really ready for marriage?<BR>At the time I did but soon learned I didn't know beans about being married.<P>How can a person tell if he or she is ready beforehand for marriage?<BR>You need to learn what God wants for your life and dedicate yourself to preparing for that ministry. Once you are prepared (education) and stable (finance) you are ready to seek a life partner. Doing this eliminates the greatest destructive influences to forging a marriage.<P>How would you describe your marriage – very successful, adequate, nice but with some problems, a disappointment, etc.?<BR>VERY sucessful<P>What have been the one or two biggest problems you’ve encountered in marriage?<BR>Finances and learning to minister to each others different needs. <P>What have been the greatest joys or benefits you have gained from marriage?<BR>Our chidren coming to know the Lord and their desire to serve Him.<P><BR>What do you think are the most important things that make for a good marriage?<BR>A comitment to ministering to the needs of your spouse. I am God's tool to meet the needs of my wife in a more significant manner than any other person ever could.<P>If you are in a blended marriage, what problems have you encountered? What has been beneficial in the blended marriage?<BR>If you mean inter-racial, this does not apply to us.<P>What advice would you give to young people preparing for marriage?<BR>See above answers. Commitment.<P>If you could move time back and start over again in marriage, what changes would you make?<BR>I'd spend more time learning about my wife's emotional needs and spend less time trying to get her to meet mine.<P><BR>

How many years have you been married? 22 years<P>1. Approximately, how old are you?<BR>I'm 44 wife is 43<P>2. Who is working in the family? One or both? What kind of work do you do? Do you enjoy your work?<BR>I work full time, systems analyst, yes I enjoy my job<BR>Wife works part time 12 hours a week as dental hygienist. She works to keep her liscense current. <P>3. What decisions have you made about children? How many if any? What sex? What plans have you made for them?<BR>We have 2 "children" boy 19 freshman in college, girl 16 sophmore in highschool. We plan to help them through college and then turn 'em loose! Most of our planning now relates to being empty nesters very soon. <P>4. Are your parents still living? How close to you do they live? Do you see them often?<BR>Yes, both sets are alive. In-laws live 4 hours away. Between them visiting us and us visiting them we see them nearly once a month. My parents live in Florida in the winter but spend summers a hour from our home. I see them nearly evry week in the summer. Rarely at other times. <P>5. How old were you both when you married? Was it a first marriage? A blended marriage? Are there children from a previous marriage?<BR>I was 22 and wife was 21. Yikes that is young! This is my first and only marriage.<P>6. Why did you want to get married?<BR>After dating all through highschool, wife went to college. It seemed like the next natural step. I wish I had a more profound reason. I wouldn't change a thing though.<P>7. Do you feel that you were really ready for marriage? How can a person tell if he or she is ready beforehand for marriage?<BR>I was absolutely not ready for marriage. I'm not sure anyone really is. The most important thing is if there are unresolved issues in the relationship they need to be resolved BEFORE marriage. Marriage only makes it harder.<P>8. How would you describe your marriage – very successful, adequate, nice but with some problems, a disappointment, etc.?<BR>Very successful. The credit goes to an unbelievably supportive wife and a relationship that was based on a common faith in God.<P>9. What have been the one or two biggest problems you’ve encountered in marriage? <BR>Difference in sex drive in the early years. I can't think of a thing now.<P>10. What have been the greatest joys or benefits you have gained from marriage?<BR>Raising kids. this from a guy who didn't want any. They are my pride and joy. <P>11. What do you think are the most important things that make for a good marriage?<BR>Similar goals and similar faith (if any)<P>12. If you are in a blended marriage, what problems have you encountered? What has been beneficial in the blended marriage?<BR>N/A<P>13. What advice would you give to young people preparing for marriage?<BR>Don't rush it. Don't live together before marriage.<P>14. If you could move time back and start over again in marriage, what changes would you make?<BR>I would move to improve our communication earlier, preferably before the wedding.<P>15. Any else you’d like to add<BR>