I just got off the phone with H. I had to call him regarding older son in college and tuition issues. I talked very calmly about the situation at hand and he said he would call the school and try and straighten things out. Fine!
Then I asked how he was doing (shouldn't have) and he said that he had dinner with his 2 sister's at one of their houses and it was awkward but he couldn't avoid them forever. First time he has seen them since being kicked out of house, he was too ashamed(should be). He said that they talked a little about our situation and they love him and he was family and they would give him the support he needs. They don't agree with his choses but he has to do what he has to do. Whatever that means! I asked (be careful what you ask)did they mention your daughter and he said that they would like to meet her sometime. Well,I went nuts and said I just got replaced and he said no your not. I then told him I hope he burns really slow in hell and how much I hate him. Crying like waterfalls!

I was so hurt that his family can except this child in their family. So my children are what, nothing. I know I'm talking stupid but I felt betrayed by them. I've known them for 27 years and it's over just like that. I'm also upset that my H is getting on with his life. How stupid of me I know he has to but he doesn't deserve to breathe never mind have people be nice to him. I hate what he did to me and everyones live around us keeps going on without missing a beat. Me and the boys are the ones who have to deal with awful phase in our life. I haven't heard from any one in his family in over 2 weeks. I guess blood is thicker than water. Don't they think the boys will be upset if they find out that they have seen this child. Life is so unfair!!!! I want him to hurt like he has me hurting. I don't want him to be happy. I have such rage and hatred toward him right now. How can he go on knowing what he did to us? I don't understand! I just need to rant and rave I think I feel better.

I would like to say I understand you pain and hate but, I can't. I don't have any experience in this type of situation. Although, what did this child do to you? That kid deserves all the love and attention it can get. I commend his family for not taking any of what has happened out on that innocent child. Yes what he did is bad and yes he's scum but, he has a duty to take care of what he has done. Please don't look at it like they are accepting him for what he did. Everyone needs support whether in good times or bad. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves forgivness. God bless.

What you say is very true and my mind knows that but sometimes when I vent it's mostly my heart talking. I know this child is innocent and deserves to live a good life and I do not wish anything bad to happen. In saying that I can't control I how I think sometime and my first reaction was; "How could they?" I know if it was brother I would do the same thing as them. That is what is so hard about this your heart and mind are never on the same page. What I think and what I do are totally different. Thank you for making me see the words in front of me and reading them because I sometime don't think very clearly.

Dear lj,
I know it must be VERY painful for you right now, and that is a very normal reaction. My ex's family has been very supportive of me, and I know it would hurt badly if it wasn't that way. You are in the early stages of this, and it will continue to hurt. The only advice I can give is to stay busy, let other people reach out to you. God can send people your way, especially through his church, to help you get through this. Read the Psalms, that has helped me so much. It will take time, but try to look toward the future, and see what you want for YOU. Also, and I say this to everyone, get on an anti-depressant for a while. This will be a tremendous emotional roller coaster ride for you, and the anti-depressant can help get you through the physically depressing part at the beginning. If you need to email me, please do so, I would love to talk with you. My email is khil0311@yahoo.com
Take care.
KK

lj, In my case there's no OC, but I'm sure I'd feel the same way you do! I know you understand that the child is innocent and your anger isn't at the child. I know you want </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">him to hurt like he has me hurting. I don't want him to be happy. I have such rage and hatred toward him right now. How can he go on knowing what he did to us? I don't understand! I just need to rant and rave I think I feel better </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is a great place to vent your feelings... better than at your H. All that will do will help him to feel more justified, give his family more reason to reject you, and ultimately make things harder on your kids.

I know it's not fair, but please believe that you will survive this and, if you use this experience to grow instead of to become bitter, you will eventually be happier than ever. Hard to believe, but true...