I have been married almost 7 years and have spent all those years on an emotional rollercoaster. I am married to a man that is Manic/Bi-Polar..so that explains a lot of the instability.

6 months ago we separated so that we could deal with our issues individually. I have made great progress and it seemed that the space had actually brought us closer together.

My husband recently went on a trip that was work related and has come back to...treating me badly.
I went to his work to see him today and saw on his computer mail from somebody named Candy(he had a special folder for her). He hesitated and said it was an old friend from home.

It is so hard b/c we don't live under the same roof, so he could be doing anything and everything and I would never know. Now he is acting very mean and angry with me and will not see me.

Do you think that I had "busted" him and now he doesn't know what to do. I love him, however, I draw the line there. I deserve better. The problem is he will never be straight with me and I don't want to jump to conclusions.

Help...

Hard to say what is going on...do you have any other reasons to be suspicious of other relationships? I know that there is a link to 50 signs of a betraying spouse somewhere on this site, but I don't have the link...maybe someone can help???

I don't have much experience with Manic/Bi-Polar, so I'm bumping this so maybe someone else can help...

I am sorry to hear that your situation is not going well at this time...I wish the best for you.

Isn't it part of the condition to place blame elsewhere? To not take responsibility?
I understand the fine line you walk with him.
Rejection to someone with Bipolar disorder is a big deal.
I would think a calm, quiet plan B would give you a boundry. Write him a note clearly saying you will not tolerate bad behavior. This will isolate the behavior from him. A simple addition of clearly saying you love him and you will not be abused by his manipulation.
I hope he's taking his meds. It sounds like his on a spiral and you need to stand back and let him fall down alone.
I have a good friend with a grown child who is Bipolar.
Don't let yourself take on his responsibilities. I realize this is difficult when it's someone you love. You will respect him more and in turn he will respect himself more if you let him go it alone.
There are support groups, via internet, that will put you in touch with others dealing with Biopolar family members. I would reach out to them. This forum, unless they themselves have delt with this disorder, will not understand, or be able to relate to, the magnitude of what you are dealing with. The chemical imbalance of the brain, in BiPolar disorder, is not like dealing with your average unfaithful partner.
I'm sure you have learned, on your own, what you are dealing with. I would decide right now if you can handle this. They never get better. Only through meds can they achieve some balance. He is not your child. You don't owe him your life.

Aly

I know a little bit about it. Basically, you have your work cut out for you. If you knew he was this way before you married him, then this is one of those times where you kind of need to step back and reassess your relationship and the way you "handle" his condition. Unlike some affairs, you can't so easily pin them on him depending on certain things totally out of your and his control.

If you didn't know and this came up during your marriage, then you still need to step back and reassess the kind of married life you have ahead of you. It can a wonderful thing... IF and ONLY IF he will stick to a regime of medication and regular visits to a pysciatrist to adjust his meds on an on-going basis. And, you actually need to be part of those visits so you can hear the doctor say, "He needs to take this one 2x a day and this one at night..." You get to be his nurse... and guess what? He's going to kind of despise you for making him take the meds depending on what part of his cycle he's in.

If he has committed adultery by your definition, maybe this can serve as a warning shot of what's to come if you both don't take corrective actions. I don't have these conditions, but I have one that's in the same family - epilepsy. Granted it manifests way differently but some of the root characterists are there.