I need some friendly help and guidance with this. My husband of 18 years has left the home (3 months ago) for another woman. He has lied to me in so many ways. My father had been sick for about one year and while I was busy going to the hospital, he was having an affair. I caught him on an audio recorder. He has never admitted to this affair. Not even to this day. We have 3 children together. this is not his first affair either. I forgave him but he continued to see her. I told him that he could not live with me under the same roof and see her too so he moved out. I truely believe that this woman is Satan's daughter. (In a manner of speaking) She was married herself. I found the husband and told him of their affair and let him listen to the tape that I had. He has left the home. They have one child together. When my husband left he told me that it was my fault that he had these affairs and I was worthless. I now know that this is not the case. However, although he has wronged me for more than 10 years, I still love the man. In the bible God does not condone divorce. I know that if a person commits adultery, he says that it is OK but overall it is not condoned. I love my family and want my marriage back. Am I crazy to believe that it can be a marriage again one day? When he left, he was very mean and cold. He is 40 years old. Is this a mid life crisis? I know that prayers can change anything but my husband will not even speak with me. He can not look at me in the face at all. I know that he is guilty of things, but how is a reconciliation possible when he will not communicate with me at all? How do I begin to forgive? I desperately need any advice at all. Thanks.

Could it be a mid life crisis if it has been done before? Sounds like a habitual trait to me that may not be able to be fixed without speaking to a professional. I totally understand how you feel about both your husband and satan's daughter, my situation is similar. Your husband is showing signs of guilt and that is why he can not talk to you or look at you due to what he has done. No you are not crazy for thinking that you can have a family again or else there would be a lot of crazy people on this web site....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kfish:
<strong>how is a reconciliation possible when he will not communicate with me at all? How do I begin to forgive? I desperately need any advice at all. Thanks.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">kfish,

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Many of us here have been through this exact thing (myself included - read my sig line).

I want to expressly address the question you asked above. I do not think now is the time to realistically think about reconciliation, since he won't talk to you, etc. Been there, done that. H told me he "wanted this divorce, he was sure, NO, there was no chance of reconciliation, counseling, etc. It was too late for that..." His mind was MADE UP. He went through with it. We are now divorced, have been for almost a year.

However, I am going to go out on a limb here, since you referenced "satan." I am going to assume you know God, speak with Him, etc. If so, then you have to believe that God does NOT want this marriage broken up by adultery. Period.

Having said that, please, please DO NOT make the mistake I did and TELL your H this! He doesn't want to hear it now.

At this point, what you must do is BELIEVE. And pray. And read and learn. Go to the links above this page, under "Concepts" and read all you can about what goes on in the minds of the adulterer...this will help you understand the dynamics of an affair. It will help you deal with what is happening, and how hard it is for him to let it go [i]even if he wants to[/b] (I have no idea if that's true of him at this point.)

Kfish, you have come to the right place! Others here can help you, comfort you, and guide you. BUT, your ultimate source for all these things must be your Lord. HE ALONE knows how much you can handle AND the way O-U-T of this. Please spend a lot of time with Him. Pray forgiveness for your part in the breakdown in your M. Then begin praying for your H, because he is in satan's realm now and it's a very dangerous place to be.

I am getting long-winded (I do that), so I will quit now. If you are interested, I have so much more I would like to share with you. Hun, you are among friends, and I am so glad you found this place! I know how grateful I am for this place. It saved my sanity.

Here's another site you can check out: http://rejoiceministries.org/

God Bless,

Kfish,
Sorry you're having to experience this pain that most of us here at MB share. You have found a good source of support on this website and hopefully you also have support around you in person.

I want to echo what lupolady said:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I do not think now is the time to realistically think about reconciliation, since he won't talk to you, etc. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">At this point don't even go there (dwelling on reconciliation), just know in your heart that it is what you want, and it is what God wants. There are many other things you can concentrate on: your kids, your own well-being (physical, emotional, spiritual), logistics such as finances, household stuff, etc... Reconciliation is a long-term goal , because until your husband "wakes up" out of his fog there will be no point in planning it - that will just eat you up and bring discouragement (more than you may already feel).

Read the materials at this site. Find those around you who can stand with you for your marriage, and/or see a counselor or pastor. All these things will help towards your future, whether that means reconciliation or not.