Well, got a call yesterday from attorney's office that the judge had ruled on the attorney fees issue and I could come down and get the paperwork.

Now, in this nearly 3 year long divorce, I have done all teh settlements, I have rolled over on almost every issue, etc, yet when we would go back to court ex and his attorney found something else to go on about. This totally irritated the judge and he took it out on me, too. I was sanctioned to pay ex $10,000 on top of all my own legal fees, and ex was sanctioned to pay me $12,000 and he got his own attorney fees. So that means ex owes me $2000.00 only. This divorce cost me nearly $60,000 all the while letting ex get away with everything. I stood firm on protecting the children only. I don't understand the sanctioning; I wasn't the one prolonging the divorce, so obviously trying to bankrupt my spouse, I didn't commit perjury and I was never in contempt of an order. Oh well, it is over at least and now I can figure out what to do with finances. Going bankrupt may be one of the only solutions, but I've tried hard to not do that.

I went to the police to check on the abuse charges and finally talked with a detective. She wants me to call her next week as she was just given the file when my dad and I walked in and asked to talk to someone about why it never made it to the DA's. She said that it may not be enough to go to trial on, there just wasn't enough evidence. She would look through the file and see what they may be able to do.

My neighbors, now that the divorce is done, and they have seen what an jerk my ex has been over the past 3 years, are ready to stand up and talk about the bruising they've seen on my kids. It just really bothers me when CPS wouldn't even talk to an adult witness of the time ex choked younger daughter.

I'm just so glad the divorce is over finally. Sure wish that the monetary issues would have gone a bit better, but maybe it's my cost for marrying the jerk in the first place. Now if I could just get some sort of restraining order for him and the neighbor across the street, maybe I could get my life back together without all the harassment.

Lori

Lori,

I'm glad that part is finally over..

I will continue to lift you up in prayers about the other..

May God bless you and the children as you begin a new chapter of life. And you are freed from this, these things you cannot control now. It is ok.

You may still feel like grieving. I think it's like turning off life support on someone that's brain dead. They're already gone but something formally has to be done to bring about closure where healing cannot begin. Just like a death. And you and the kids are going to have a wonderful future. One with love and honor.

And you will love someone else someday. I am sure of that. In time your heart will open once more. Be good to yourself right now and just love the kids as much as you can.

God bless you.
Easter is a time of renewal, a new life.
Enjoy your beginning, and I hope I am able to write that my D is complete this year too.
I have the similar H, who is fighting every step of the way. And it's getting expensive.

Thanks all! I am relieved that it is over! I just got a letter from my attorney blasting his attorney finally about some of the past issues, but it won't do anything.

My dad and I are going to sit down and figure out a budget and look into what I need to do to become financially stable again. He'll be able to help on a couple of contracts that will take care of some of the more pressing debt while he is here, so that is great! I figure it will take me about 5 years to get out of this mess. Am just glad that in the midst of all the harassment and all that I have continued to grow the business (180% last year). Now maybe I can focus more on it and really get out there and do what I am capable of!

Nice turn of events, the neighbor who saw the bruising on my daughter also happens to know the detective looking into the abuse. Maybe this will all work out in the end. I get to go see my older daughter this weekend; she is going to plead to come home. She said she got her wake up call and the alarm bells were screaming as she was taken to the school, but she can only work on the problems if she is at home <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

It is kind of funny to read her letters, she is all over the board on her emotions, but seems more worried about her friends and what they think than anything else. She still wonders why I sent her there. I just think about her having to take off the nose piercing (she did it herself) and not wearing a ton of make-up and know that if anything, just for that she is in a healthier place. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Seriously, she sounds like she is starting to realize what it was she was doing, even if she is disassociating quite a bit.

It will be good to see her. It also happens to be her 16th birthday! I am also taking the first vacation I have had in many, many years. Think it will be wonderful!

Have a happy Easter everyone! We all will have a new life ahead of us and it's about time for it to get better.

Lori

Lori,

have you considered taking your daughter the Book
Boundaries, they have one for teens as well..and it may hit home for her in ways that other things haven't..

Just a thought..

Happy Resurrection Day

Arm loads of hugs,Bangarra.

The time has arrived and I am so sorry for the deep loss in your lives.Although the final act comes thru with a measure of closure&sense of relief. I am saddened that he has been so hardened,blinded to the end to put all of you through so much adversity.

A very painful walk through the valley of shaddow of death of marriage before it's mature time. The permanent loss of unique civilaztion of your family ending and the loss of such a beautiful strong woman, as your self, who through love bore him a beautiful family.

Your life will flower,bloom, blossom again burst into fragrance once more. Through this life prunning process of removing the deadwood which corrupted which ate away at your orginal union.

Understandable you are bruised, wearied, deflated emotionally& financially. Take time to grieve now as a loss is still loss. I am sorry he failed you and your children so terribly.

Be gentle with your self, kind-take one day at a time. I will keep you and your children in my prayers.