I laid down the framework of the B plan letter once again on friday with Stbxwh. This morning as son and I are getting ready to go to son's school and church Easter Egg Hunt he called and asked if his parents (the enablers) could come. I said that was fine. Got off phone quickly as I said no contact other than talking about son and told him to reread my plan B letter yesterday via email.

So we get dressed and go. We are sitting on first row in the multipurpose room with all the other parents and kids. They start with a kid's devotional time and veggie tale puppet show and talk about faith. Then I look back and see in the back row my FIL and Jethro. They are smiling and waving at us like there's never been anything wrong. I cringe. Am sitting with another single mom in son's class and she is aware of what's been going on. (her h had an affair too and that is why they divorced). She gives me a strange look. I look pleasant and turn away. I don't see MIL at the back though. After the children's service, the egg hunt begins on the playground. The kids run out and suddenly it's Jethro at son's side and FIL is videoing the whole thing and I feel wierd. This is not what I want. Not at all. He stands by me, Jethro and tells me not to call our son "baby" anymore and gives other advice. He is being too strange. I am stand offish and feel wierd but can't put finger on it. Then I realize that MIL isn't out there but did see her I thought in the very back of the building during the service.

As we come inside I am face to face with MIL and see she is WITH A VERY SMALL LITTLE BOY. I ask her "who is this child?" She says this is X. IT IS MS. FAMILY VALUES' CHILD. I am beyond words at this point. To bring into God's house a flaunted affair. The IL's see my reaction and they are visibly showing signs of their worry. I have to try to do my best to hold it in b/c this is the day for my son and to have fun with him. I NEVER SAID JETHRO COULD COME NOR IN ANY WAY WANTED THIS KIND OF THING TO HAPPEN. Another parent asks me if that's my son's brother. I say no.

I am hurt beyond belief. The IL's do a switchoff and the FIL takes FV's child outside. His MIL comes to talk to me. She has tears in her eyes (yea probably fake) and begins to tell me "how I've wonderfully raised my son and how this whole situation is not what they wanted but that I am doing very good considering" and then goes on to ask about my job. I am just swimming. My head is swimming. I am looking at her with disbelief. They publicly embarassed me and my son. Bringing and flaunting their grown son's affair in of all places, God's house. I look at her and say this "This is terribly inappropriate. I love all children. That is to be understood. It is not this child's fault but this is not acceptable and is very inappropriate here. This is God's house. And we are still married." I tear up and begin to cry. I run into the bathroom. Son is playing a game and his father is with him.

I am denied of having a good time with my son doing the simple things that bring us joy like hunting for eggs and worshipping together. We are invaded by the IL's and Wayward Husband and the OW's child. It is awful that they had to come and do this in public. It is horrible.

Son asks me why X (OW's child) was there and I said that I didn't know.

Son was questioning it too. Found out from stbxh that he was BABYSITTING THE OW'S CHILD TODAY. Isn't that nice. He never did that for me often. So he breaks NC rule and barges in on a lovely day for his own selfish motives. He puts everything else above his son. It was too much to ask Jethro of himself to stay home and babysit with OW's child. Nope. His parents were going and he had to go to. I wonder if Ms. Family Values knew if my stbxh was coming? She sure probably wouldn't have liked that.

The IL's looked disappointed and I knew that they still were enabling him b/c the reason I only saw them one at a time before the service was because they were switching off staying with OW's child to hide the child from me so I wouldn't see him there. How awful. To go along with the betrayals. I felt like not one, but three knives were plunged into my heart today.

I held my head down so nobody would see my tears and walked into the ladies bathroom stall. Then the children's minister whom I know well saw me and wanted to talk to me in her office. She did and said she thought that the man must have been my stbxh. And when I told her of the shock of today being the day to bring OW's child here and in public she was stunned. She prayed with me and prayed that God would deal out justice in this situation. She said if she had known my stbxh enough to speak to him she would have asked him to leave as ADULTERY BEING FLAUNTED IN GOD'S HOUSE IS NOT SOMETHING THEY CONDONE. That I had every reason to be hurt, shocked, wounded and that she prayed for my son's and I healing. And that she just couldn't believe he picked today of all the days to pull this kind of behavior.

So now I have emailed attorneys and told them of this and we are at home here unwinding. I am still stunned. I told him No Contact period. He can't abide by that. And then to publicly do this? Did Jethro think I was so stupid that I wouldn't notice seeing only one of his parents at a time? In fact they CAME IN SEPARATE VEHICLES so they could make a clean getaway. Jethro came in one car and the OUTLAWS in their suv. They know what they did was wrong. And they couldn't help it. Either that or Jethro came on his own and just went.

I know I must have appeared visibly shaken. Jethro tried to talk to me when our son was playing some little carnival games. My head was just spinning and I couldn't focus. He said that 'I should just get over it" and that "he didn't do anything wrong" and "that he keeps kids for his friends all the time and throws out the names of another girl I know and his secretary etc., business partner's kids. Isn't it a shame he isn't a better father? In his mind he's the best dad ever. Never mind what he's done to his own son. To his wife. Never mind that.

And as we are walking out, Jethro tries to walk out with us. After I went into the Youth Minister's office and prayed, the outlaws had left and taken the OW's child with them. Jethro tried to walk out with us but I swiftly grabbed son's hand and we headed out the door. I ws trying to not let son in on how devastated I was. But Jethro says to me that "Quit being Mother Teresa ok?" and some other choice things about how I need to accept this. I say that I want nothing more to do with him as long as he is living this way and he cannot force his lfiestyle oe me or his son. And he brings over to my vehicle some clothes (not expensive either) he's purchased from Sears for our son. As he is leaving, I look him dead in the eyes as he is getting into his car.

He's done it this time. What do I do? My sister says I should now get a restraining order (we've almost had that done twice now) and that I need to get firm with attorneys about this situation. How can I prevent my son from being embarassed in public by this again or another holiday ruined by the interference of the outlaws and the wayward soon to be x.

As I drove home, kept composure as best as I could. Tears kept dripping down my face. My heart just feels like it's been ripped out and stomped on. I am sickened by this.

Advice and has anyone been publicly ambushed by their stbx's like this? I feel it was disrespectful to our son, me to God. Our son has to see his father spending all this time with another child and it has to confuse him so much. I am sorry for that. I hurt for that. He just doesn't know what he's done. He's ripped apart our family and wants everyone to accept his sin and think it is ok.

I am numb and my eyesight is blurry a bit. I am just doing my best to try to salvage the day.

Can't he just stop this? Leave us alone if he can't be a decent man? It is shameful. Why does it even hurt now? Why did and am I still crying over it?

Prayers please to get us through this day and for tomorrow.

I think it is time to get the restraining order. And the next time Jethro asks if he can come to something, you can say, "I don't think that would be a good idea."

It's easier to say those words than to say "No" and it's harder to argue with what someone THINKS than to argue with a cut and dry answer.

There are people who were brought up to respect NO and people who were brought up to use NO as a negotiating point to begin the process.

peachy,

Ditto Cinderella, get RO ASAP. He is capable of violent specially when he feels he lost control over you.

This happens to prepare you and make you stronger and away from him.

-rh-

I'm so sorry, Peachy. I definitely will say extra prayers for you tonight. I sincerely sympathize with you. May the Lord heal you and your son and bring you peace and happiness once again.
On another note, I SECOND what Princess Cinderella and RedHat said - get that Restraining Order YESTERDAY!! What Jethro did was totally unexcusable and defiling God's House. God will exact vengance upon him for what he did today. You are in the right, have been so along and will be rewarded by the Lord for your faithfulness and taking the HIGH ROAD - something Jethro has totally forgotten about.
Harold

God bless you and your family on this Holy Easter Day.

You are now seeing the true person, not the person you believed that he was. That is why it is so upsetting and hurtful, because you still believed in the person.

I know you believe in yourself, and are doing the best for your family. Continue to stay strong.

Where you both live in the same area, you can't expect to not run into each other from time to time. What you can do is set up J's visiting rights through the divorce so that he comes and picks up your children and returns them at set times. Unless you get a restraining order, which is going to be temporary anyways, there really isn't anything you can do long term (unless you get sole custody). My take is that he did this as petty revenge for your courtroom drama and his Valentine's Day purchases, etc.

It's interesting that you violated your no-contact thing to give him info about where and when you'd be doing the easter thing. He used it to dis you. File this away in your head and steel your resolve to enforce your end of the no-contact rule. Until you have a custody arrangement worked out, I'd make that part of your no contact rule.

I'd be real surprised if you could get a restraining order based on this. My xWW had 5 police officers ready to break my windows because I wasn't responding to her phone calls and emails. Her excuse was my epilepsy. The truth was that I just didn't want to talk to her. In front of police officers she started cussing me out and demanding to know what I was hiding... and left some pretty crazy phone messages. Even with that, my lawyer didn't think we could have gotten a retraining order... that if we did, it would be for like 2 weeks or so only.

Be careful.

{{{Peachy}}}

Get the restraining order. Believe me, they can and do help take some of the pressure off. It isn't a total fix, but if they at least have some respect of the law and that they can go to jail for violating the RO, they seem to manage to stay away and leave you alone.

I wish you a better Easter and the time to heal!

Lori

For what it's worth, I take this as a sign that J is getting more desperate and is trying to psyche you out. You need to be a super-duper mom for the next little while and DOCUMENT it and his involvement with your kids. Where he has so obviously flaunted your marriage and family, you actually have the advantage in child custody battles. Rather than wasting your time with restraining orders, I'd have your lawyer prepare orders for: Abandonment, Desertion, and Total Custody. Whatever the amount of the custody arrangement MIGHT be, ask for way more than that and put in a clause that he pay all of your legal fees. File it immediately, and until the courts overturn it, don't let J anywhere near your kids.

Remember, you have the advantage, but everytime you interact with him, you give him info he desperately needs to counterattack and/or throw you off guard. Be a super-duper mom... DOCUMENT everything and go for the gusto with J. Once you file the papers, copy him and his attorney and then sit back. Unless he agrees to anything, instruct your lawyer to reject any counter offers and force him to take it to court. If he presses you, I would very calmly say something like, "Did you know that as your wife of these many years, I have joint claim on your business assets?" Hang up the phone and instruct your lawyer to prepare a filing that claims 50% of all his business assets.

Just my humble opinion... and these are all things I would have done if I had kids. And, break off contact with the ILs... my heavens why would you want to subject yourself to that? Are you going to have a custody settlement with them also? NO! They can see the kids as part of their son's custody settlement if they care that much. Otherwise, I'd suggest that you tell them how sorry you are that things haven't worked out, but that as their son's parents, their contact with your kids is no longer your concern. They'll think you're a total b*tch, but that's part of the timeless story of divorce.

Peachy,

I could feel every emotion of violation and your tears. What a shame and heartwrenching situation. I commend you for holding up on under that kind of strain.

So the big bad wolf and his clan rolls in their shame, SUPER EGO STYLE&loftines, to exert their power, presense, prowlessnes and intentions. At GOD house's yet, my,my they are deviously brazen and very spiritually hungry/lost.

God and his goverance as we know is much bigger than them and situation and will not be mocked.

From your previous post regarding his family history. Their family "denial file" is thickly laden with scandlous behaviors.Most apparant IL wear their superficiality masks of civility quite well and know how to use it to disguise to thier advantage.

If your IL were to hold him accountable they would have to look honestly at themselves. Which obviously the are not prepared to do as it mean facing the truth about themselves. Jethro is a bully/coward and so are his parents.

Tpyical narcisstics and classic bully intimadation behaviors not respecting others,no considerations, diffuse boundries. These folks are about Power Control/ have underdeveloped real social skills and lack any remorse.

Obvious, IL are not normal healthy people if they were would they behave as rudely, ignorantly such as Jethro/IL what they pulled off. In a self deliberate "grandiose" hurtful manner. Sounds if they are empathetic dsyfunctional.

Entirely different matter if they were holding Jethro accountable, because they actually loved him,had concern. Were supportive of you and your son. Inquire about you and your son are doing emotionally/finacially etc help out. Should have been keeping in touch along.

Called you if they could come to church on their own to visit you/son.

Keep their visit with their son seperate matter.

They know you are hurting, they know you are wounded, and your son. More important on their part is to keep up their facade, phoniness "keeping up the appearances".

Primary motive as you said it is they are there to enable, condone. In order to achieve their agenda, they have to manipulate be underhanded is to regain control over you and cover up his tracks.

To enable their son out his trapeze addicitons, avert the trail of his negative consequances or at least minimze his mounting consequances by the creating video progranda footage to show how wonderful, how great of dad he is with subtle sub message with the right woman, right situation.

Cunning aren't they but so so foolish.Tsk, tsk,
This I know as my STBHX folks, family members are bully/cowards themselves and pull off antics like this.

Obviously, you cannot reason with Jethro on any level. He can bully, violate and what ever because the truth of the matter is because he can.

Leverage for you is a restraining order so that you can heal. If he were told this as he is preventing you from moving on. Everyone has their limits and he has exceeded crossing those lines over, over. Enough, is enough.

His "surprises visits" on you like this might suggest he is trying to also return to you. MS.FV is disappointing him already, she has less money than he expected, a child, placing demands on him, giving him less attention. If he is babysitting more and didn't do it for you don't take the bait here.

He's doing this he is out of money most of the time and desperate to hold on to his superficial friends. Cassino rules I think when the money goes so does the friends. When lady luck disappears so does the crowd. Move onto to another player that keeps the wheel of entertainment/games turning.All about Game/IMAGE...

You know the real truth here.

His purpose could also be wanting the high drama of having two women to control and give him his HIGH of CONTROL. Since he is a skilled game player,con artist.

Sad to say he has you where he wants you to get emotional, make a fuss of morality, cry, get flustered, etc to wear you down. He likes the conquest challenge you put up a good struggle, in his warped mind.

I myself fall right in this emotional entrapment because they know we care,can love. They have us hooked into their games. I didn't see it that way as I am able to see more clearly each day how I personally contritute to bully re-enforcement behaviors.

The important question here is where does this leave you and your son. As your STBX is working over time to break you and your son down pyschologically.

Hope you and your son together can get obtain some counceling/support he is sadly being so traumitized.

Your an EXCELLENT MOTHER, your heart&spirit, strength&courge are in the right place. Perhaps, time for more support for the both of you as Jethro is one sick man deeply distrubed man and the two of you are being overburdened by his mental illness impairments and his mulitple addictions.

How sad you and your son cannot even attend worship/church together in peace. Perhaps there could be a positive turnaround here in that Jethro/parents showed up at church.

I wonder if your church has a mailing outreach broucheres for evanglism purposes for vistors that could be mailed to either of them at their homes, encouraged to visist a church near them.

Huggs

Peachy,
Lyxa is bang on clear- said it percisely.

Blessing and prayers.

Thanks. And I emailed attorneys yesterday immediately after the incident to have it reflect during the final hearing in front of judge only. This will not fair well for Jethro. Plus I have lovely documents concerning the state of the outlaws...

The plan B letter I wrote says that only contact is about son and verbal over phone only; not in person. No contact whatsoever other than that or preferably email. I am now instituting only email contact as of today. He just picked up our son for his three p.m. visitation tonight. And he knocked and knocked on door (I have instructed him not to come to the door and that he is not coming in the home. He stood by door and looked through side windows in. I moved away from the door so he could not see me and let son go out. My dog (very big dog btw) was outside and had gotten into some mud. He was really dirty and muddy (had let him out to go bathroom) and he ran up to Jethro and got him muddy in his white shorts and t shirt. hee hee. But then he ordered my dog to lie down and not move. Typical for him. He has to control something. Might as well be the dog. I saw this through blinds and he couldn't see me. Heard him say as I shut door immediatley "have a nice afternoon". Shut.

I am more than angry about this situation. Although his parents are definitely enablers, I used to have a decent relationship with them and when the divorce process started, they were in my corner. But then the fog of money and blood rolled in and they retreated wtih Jethro into it. But I never believed he'd lie about something with regard to his parents. I said (it was son related and only spoke about son) they could come and then got off phone almost immediately. Didn't believe he'd pull this kind of stunt.

And I am hoping tomorrow attorneys will get as fired up about this as I am/was. We will see about restraining order. I have definitely requested it as of yesterday. And today after church, son and I were eating lunch and here he is calling my cell. Made a point during the message to tell me that "he and his parents had just gotten back from brunch and CHURCH" and that "if he could come and get our son a bit earlier that I can call him and let him know". I did not honor it with any response whatsoever.

My son is so wonderful. He is doing fine today. And he was so excited about Easter. This year, after opening his basket and treats, he said to me that he knew what Easter was really about and had it pretty well in fact. I was never so proud.

Yes, I have had to do the big parent thing here and with son to downplay what happened yesterday. Since they didn't let my son around Ms. FV's son very long, it didn't really register too much except son wondered why that boy was there with his daddy and where the boy went to after the carnival?

And Lyxa, thanks for your ideas. HIs business is in some legal trouble right now (imagine that) and it is not wise for me to ask for 50% of it. However, we are attempting to locate some other accounts that may be substantial and get part of that now.

We've got legally many of the bases covered already. And I think yesterday was and could probably be summed up like this....(My sister who's known him for almost a decade and my brother in law said this is what they believed to be the foggy reasoning behind yesterday)...

That his parents were leaving to go to the carnival and at last minute Jethro, who was babysitting Ms. FV's little boy for her said to his parents, "hey I am going to go to. you guys can watch x and we will trade off and each spend time with my son." So the parents probably thought that might be acceptable. However the interesting part is that they all came in separate vehicles. My sister said that they probably didn't want to initially go along with Jethro but that because HE CANNOT BE CONTROLLED BY ANYONE HE DOES HIS OWN THING IRREGARDLESS OF WHAT ANYONE ASKS OR REQUESTS. Thus he came. Thus he made a scene.

I am getting over it somehow. This final blow was pretty much the death knell for this marriage. However, the final blows keep coming and coming. He is not going to be tolerated doing this kind of sneaky thing in the future. Nope. Not at all. And the funny thing is : THAT FAMILY WENT TO CHURCH TODAY. Imagine that. The family that lies to each other cheats on each other. That's their mantra instead of the traditional stays together prays together. They've dirtied this so much I don't know how any of them are able to live with themselves. But then they have a wonderful person like Jethro to lie to them and sign their checks and make it all go away...for a while...That's the funny part. Guilt and lies will eat away at you from the inside out and they will have their own demons now to deal with. I am out of everything now.

I am mentally and physically exhausted. I slept horribly last night and am going to take an hour's nap in a bit to refresh and regroup myself. My family couldn't believe it yesterday. Sister called mom and grandparents and they are madder than hades right now. My sister thinks that my MIL must have some idea she is full of crap b/c my sister says that when somebody shoots me a line of crap, usually I get this "are you actually believeing the poo you are saying" bewildered look comes across my face with eyebrows raised. Sister was right. I did have that look on my face when speaking with MIl and hearing her crap.

So the thirtieth of this month is the other hearing. I am sure this incident will make it into court this time. I am holding nothing back. I want full custody with giving Jethro weekend (as now) visitation and one mid week visitation for about four hours after school which is present agreement. It is painfully evident where our son belongs.

Today during prayer at church, they prayed for families going through divorce that may feel that they will never be whole again and never mend because of sad circumstances. I teared up but stopped immediately. And overhead they had on the screens a picture of a crying person being held up by Jesus. That was to remind us that during our darkest hours we are carried and held. I needed that reminder so much. God's been good enough to hold and carry me and my son through this. And us to here. We may think we are alone fighting for our families, for the morality of our children, but we are not alone at all. We have to remember that God is here for uus.

Honestly I don't know if this could get any worse. My only communication now with him will be via email. And only about son.

Mayflower I am sorry you can relate. Heck I am aorry anyone can relate here. And thanks Cindy, Redhat my old buddy,Harold, and Wifty. Wifty you are right. Jethro is a negotiator by business and thinks that this is open up for negotiation at any time. And Mayflower, the outlaws are also very overbearing and stubborn but do have the aura of a faith based family. FIL was even at one time a deacon. Since that time, he's been busted with at least two affairs. MIL is classic enabler and looks away from negative behavior. Personally, I don't know how they can stand to look at one another after what's gone on over the years. Oh and Lyxa, I filed under three different grounds: adultery, cruel treatment (encompasses both mental and physical cruelty) and irrevocable breakdown. I wonder if I could add desertion? Hmmm. Maybe I could amend. And we have definitely asked for our attny fees paid. In first settlement, that was granted and he had to pay six grand. Were also awarded attorney fees after last cour thing and he will have to pay attorney fees after wasting five hours of my attorneys time for the wasted mediation that never happened.

I am trying basically now to focus energy on me and son and friends and family. Channel the energy where it will be USED not WASTED. Focusing on Jethro and his outlaws is not productive for me unless itis for something regarding legalities and the divorce. He is more lost and wayward than ever and it is seeming to get worse with time.

On a positive note, a friend of mine came over last night and my neighbors and son's best friend (their son) all came over. It was about 65 degrees last night and we ate sushi outside on my patio table and I lit some tealights and a candle and the kids played inside. It was very nice. We had a good talk. My neighbors from Jersey originally said to me this. (She's hilarious and very worldy wise)--"Geez. You are too nice. You gotta remember that these people (the outlaws) gave birth to Jethro. You're gonna have to be a 8itch and just let them hate your guts. Learn to say no like you say please ok?". So that's what I am going to do.

NotPeachy, good for you! You definitely are one strong woman (Helen Reddy - I Am Woman)!! Being in church with your dear son sure is the right thing to do. You keep a fire lit under those lawyers and remember your quote in your Sig Line about Justice - you WILL get yours, in due time and everything that is due you!!
Hold the faith!
Harold

Peach,

Been tryin to reach you!!! Sorry you have had more issues.

Please call.

L.

Orchid, will call you in aboutr five minutes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hiya... about the business. You're missing the point. Let me put it into a different light so you understand... I'm a small business owner. Regardless of the shape of my business... my stbxWW could and actually did go for my half of my ownership. Regardless of the condition of the business, and mine is very small and kind of imping along month by month, the mere thought of you getting involved in this will drive him nuts.

When my stbxWW started 'formal discovery' and setting the stage for a lawsuit, let me just say that it really affected me. Where I haven't been hiding anything, I had a split moment where I wanted to give her any and everything she wanted just to keep her out NOW... and to drive her to the brink. This is why I know so much about divorce and spent so much money.

Trust me on this... regardless of whether his business is in legal trouble... your "threat" will give you TREMENDOUS strategic leverage in dealing with the divorce. I'm surprised your lawyer hasn't pushed you to start this. You are, after all, entitled to HALF of whatever his ownership is. You may not want it... but it's a huge trump card you SHOULD and NEED TO PLAY.

Here's what happens...
1. Your lawyer will inform his of your claim to his business assets and that you will be adding a business valuation to the already underway formal discovery.
2. Specify that you include owed back pay, perks, benefits, retirement benefits, equity, and ALL assets as JOINT MARITAL ASSETS.
3. Notify J's lawyer that you will be preparing affadavits for all of J's partners, co-owners, and clients for the purpose of determining his business's assets, bonus/commission structures, contracts, and his personal compensation for the purpose of valuing his ownership and therefore you HALF of that ownership in working towards a cash settlement whereby he buys your ownership... after all, you don't want to be involved in business with him.
4. Send another note to his business notifying it of this intent and noting that any attempts to hide J's assets within the business shell will be conisdered fraudulent.
5. In the very last paragraph, put in a clause that he can satisfy your demand for formal discovery by granting you total custody, paying $x per month of child support and immediately delivering all monies already owed to you. That if he does this, you will waive your right to extend formal discovery to his business assets and sign away your rights... that your kids are THAT important to you.

Whether you want his business or not... I guarantee this will affect him HUGELY. It scared the hell out of me. You can email me at tover26@yahoo.com if you want to discuss this some more.

Peachy,
I know you have stated that you have full faith in your attorneys, however, I've also been through a divorce and a similar, very similar situation and my attorneys were very responsive when things like child support went unpaid. I know you've stated they are "well connected good ol' southern boys" but it appears that that are not taking you and your situation very seriously. It is unheard of for a man with a court order to just continue to violate it unles no one is really doing anything about it which seems to be your case. You may want to have a heart to heart with these wonderful lawyers and ask why things are NOT getting resolved when you are paying them very good money I"m sure.

lyxa, thanks. I have new crap to contend with and he will probably be in jail this time tomorrow. However I will email you about personal stuff and ask some opinions. His business has gone through sever scrutiny with SEC and financial entities. I was advised by attorneys to leave it alone as they are suspicious of some of his business practices. I won't elaborate on it here.

And thanks Renee. But one of my attorneys is a woman btw..And they are both good. One is the "local good ole boy". And they aren't playing around. They have gotten judge to hear the contempt violation charges tomorrow. You have to be found guilty of violating the contempt order in this county before you are jailed. He missed the deadline and she is seizing the opportunity tomorrow. And he was made to pay the last two court visits as far as attorney fees were awarded. He just keeps on losing. So I am not out any more money as of yet.

Peachy,

I haven't read all of your posts about what's happened and all..

But as far as IL's go..why not call them yourself
and ask them that if in the future they would like to see their grandson at times other than their son's visitation then to please call you THEMSELVES!! And that you will gladly bring grandson over, or invite THEM over to spend time w/ grandson..

Ask them NOT to ask their son to call you FOR THEM
they are adults, and can pick up the phone and call you just as easily as He can..and to PLEASE Respect you in this matter..

let them know that if they can not respect you
in this way, then any time in the future they will only see grandson when their son has him...

And this divorce is not your decision, nor is it fair to them or grandson, not to be able to spend time together, but the choice is theirs..

This can be your time to allow Christ to shine through you..in your relationship with them..

I have always told my daughters grandparents, if at anytime they want to see her, they have my number, they can call--it shouldn't always be left up to the parent/or child to contact them..

her step-grandma used to call about once every few months to see if she could stay the night..and unless we had other plans..I always allowed it..because their relationship w/ her is different than mine, and her fathers..sometimes I drove her over, sometimes they came over here..

but I didn't allow the ending of my relationship w/ her dad and I to destroy the relationship I had w/ his folks..although, my now ex tried to destroy that relationship..