Wow, so many good wishes from you all....thanks so much! I am still dealing with his call/email in much the same way as yesterday. Yes, it always mattered to me that he would someday see what damage had been done, but I still remain happy to be without him in my life.
So.....today he sends me a detailed email telling me what to do with our shares (the bulk of my settlement order) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> As IF he still has a say in how I manage my money...yeah, I know a little effort to try to be Mr Helpful, but not NOW!!!!! I don't NEED it now.
CC is apparently going back to South Africa to her family...who knows. I do not believe much of what he tells me now, or at least I do not take it as the permanent thing. They could make it up again, they have before.
His mother called me this morning...I told her she should call him, and why. She actually let loose a bit and said exactly what she thought of CC.....but she also knows her son is just as much to blame. I told her I would not go back, that I had met the Tall One, and she was very glad for me. She even said "If it were me, I might have taken him back for the sake of the kids, but he would never get into my bed again." <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
From JTW: "That ex of yours just won't cut it for you. At one time sure... but not now. You need someone who will realize and appreciate every waking second how lucky he is to spent time and share our lives..... " Yep, yep and YEP. The Tall One is fitting that bill very nicely thanks very much.
From CJ "And what's really odd is they don't see that. They don't see that they have deserted their family and responsibilities; that they have done harm and damage that is not repairable; that they have betrayed and broken any possibility of a bond; and that at the VERY least, they had equal responsibility in where they are now! All they see is that "they need" or "they are lonely" and they expect to be fixed and made to feel better." CJ, I am really FIGHTING with myself not to let loose and tell him EXACTLY why I will not go back to that life. In my head I just do not see the point....but my inner child would like to throw the BIGGEST tantrum over this and just let fly at him. But the high road is the high road....and I did it this far, and so I can still do it now.
From Peachy: "OMG! I am doing a little dance. CC is gone! The wicked witch is dead...Ding dong the witch is dead the wicked witch..the wicked witch." Not quite gone....she is apparently moving out this week. Gives her enough time to try and weave one of her spells.
Jen wrote: "I've been counselled to look after me and put me first, and just move on with my life, that this is the only way to wake him up. You're living proof that it works." I actually think that he is more worried about his hip pocket than how well I am doing, although The Tall One surely worries him too. But I do not think he really sees the growth in me, because if he did, he would never have asked for a second chance.....it would be too humiliating for him. No, he thought I was still wasting away here, thinking only of him.....sigh. Jen, it took me a long time to get this MB message, but you have to work on yourself for YOU, not for the marriage. Getting your marriage back is a bonus if that is what you want....but never think it will turn the WS's head. Just do it for you. And when you CAN do it just for you, your whole life will change. Mine did.
Thanks again everyone, I love you guys....YOU are the ones that helped me to get to this point in my life, and I have never been so GLAD of the internet as I am now.
Love and light,
Jacky
