I posted my update on EN, and realized that not everybody looks everywhere... so I should probably spread things around a bit.
I've got 2 little things going on:
#1. Tagline change - No longer draggin the wagon.
#2. I'm playing Juliet to a ultra cool Romeo.
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copied from my EN post....
Ok, Ok.... since people are coming out of lurk status to ask about the tagline change....
It's really no big secret, I needed more control, and better mental health. Not that I now am the owner of either <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> but I'm working at it - and it is a PROCESS.
Back last WOW was it Labor Day?!?! [censored] got a little frisky with me, and I ended up dodging and chipping a tooth in the process. Brain injuries can sometimes mean that a person can't control their emotions, and they'll act out violently.
Slappy and I consulted a bit (thanks again Bud) and we talked safety for the kids and I during their supervised visits.
Little by little, and with a few well placed and loving conks on the head by pals, and a stern warning from doc about blood pressure and the fact that I was about to have a stroke.... well, I stopped. (and started and stopped and started and stopped and started and stopped....)
I stopped the doctor appointments, transportation, medication, and being the one that makes all the decisions regarding his medical care. The one thing left medically is that I am the one who will carry out his last wishes should that need to be done.
I stopped being in charge of his finances and living situation.
I'm no longer acting as guardian, mother, wife, nurse, housekeeper, financial planner, taxi driver, therapist, dayplanner, personal shopper, pharmacist, and the person his life depends on. Because - his life doesn't depend on me.
And, contrary to popular belief ([censored] and his family and his doctors) I am
NOT his mother, wife, nurse, housekeeper, financial planner, taxi driver, therapist, dayplanner, personal shopper, pharmacist, and the person his life depends on.I am his ex-wife. I supervise visitation when
I think he is stable enough that visits will not disrupt the kids lives. The court says that is my job, and that's what I do.
I care about him, his situation is sad - and he has nobody else. The kids and I are it. I can't just empty him from my life like I'm taking out the trash no matter what happened during our marriage. I like to think that I am kinder than that.
Sometimes I wish he would vaporize - don't get me wrong. When my home phone is busy he will call my cell over and over till I answer. I'm turning off my cell because of him. I let him get under my skin way too often, but I'm working on it.
I let him spend a night in jail because he was caught shoplifting, I was NOT dragging the kids out of the house and going to post bail for him; but I did make sure that the incident was taken care of by his doctors as relating to the head injury so he will have a clean record as he did before. This was a behavior stemming from the injury - and he really didn't fully understand what he was doing. If you knew the whole story you would laugh your buns off and agree wholeheartedly.
See - I am halfway there... I'm no longer draggin the wagon, but I'm still peeking behind me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
In some ways I will always be there for [censored]. He is Chris and Amanda's father, and I have special obligations to him that only I can define, change, outline, and explain.
But as I was reminded by Romeo last night, there is only so much Elizabeth to go around.
Have I mentioned how amazing LoverBoy is about the whole [censored] thing? He tells me how special I am to do what I have done, and he isn't just trying to get points either. He really respects me. That is so awesome. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
So, that's the story. That's the reason for the tagline change. I am not doomed to dragging a brain injured ex-husband who acts like a cartoon behind me in a wagon for the rest of my life like I thought I was.
My load is a lot lighter, and my days are getting brighter.
My heart spends it's days going pitter pat flippety flop, and the guy who knows all sorts of things about me that I would never before dream of telling a perspective mate is eagerly awating getting closer to me and my new jammies - not trying to run for his life because of all my baggage....
Don't worry about the new jammies folks, we are planning on getting comfy and watching movies next Saturday night. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
E <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
