Monday was mediation. Went well overall. I am happy, because our children were never discussed at all. We still have the same arrangement even with the 9 months of threats by her to sue for full custody. I knew that it was only for money, I told the mediator that and said that money didn't matter to me, but I would go to war over my boys. I said we just had to financially sate my ex and she wouldn't even bring it up. She looked at me funny like 'you're crazy' then went and spoke with my ex. Upon returning she looked at me then at my attorney and said "He's right, all we have to do is come up with a number." It is just amazing...

I had to overrule my attorney several times, because she thought I was paying too much. I am paying probably about triple what I would have had I gone to court, but it just doesn't matter. What is good for my boy's is all that matters. I just kept telling her, "It is worth the peace that I will get from an ex that feels she has won." My attorney just couldn't believe it, but I stuck to my guns. The money has never been a issue for me. I don't care. I worked hard for my family which always included her.

I am paying all bills and debt except for her student loans. As well as her mortgage. I am paying FULL child support, even though I have my boys half time. It doesn't matter, because I would have paid triple that, if I had to, in order to have my boys. They are all I want. Financially, I will never have to worry about money again, but my boys are everything to me AND I HAVE THEM !!!!

Funny thing is, I told the mediator what I would be willing to do before she ever spoke with my ex. And I didn't even end up paying that much in the end. I never even negotiated. The mediator did it all for me. The mediator shook my hand at the end and said "You paid too much for all the right reasons."

My attorney was trying to think if she knows anyone that 'is worthy' of setting me up with. Funny thing... EVERYONE I KNOW has been offering to set me up. I don't know when I will go out. I have met several very nice women just in my normal travels over the last 9 months, but I didn't want to be guilty of adultery, even if only on paper. But now, I am free to do what I want. If my boys ask me whether I dated at any time while I was married, I can say 'Absolutely not.' For me... This is the answer I need to say in total honesty. I was faithful to my vow and to my wife until she was no longer my wife in any form or fashion. My boys WILL know what devotion, honesty, and fidelity look like by looking at their dad.

But now that I can do what I feel like I just don't know what I want to do...

I would like to have dinner with someone that doesn't require me to cut up their food. I love my boys more than anything in this world, but I have had it with the Yu-Gi-Oh conversation... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am good. I am doing good. I feel OK. Not great, but OK. Better than I thought I would feel when it was over. But not as good as I plan on feeling hopefully soon.

I just don't have a clue what a 34 year old does on a date. Last date I went on was as a 20 year old. Heh heh heh... but hey, I guess there is something to a horseback ride in the mountains and wine on the summit of the most beautiful mountain I know of... Problem is... nothing higher than an overpass here in the midwest.

Everyone, you have been wonderful. I have not been posting for a few months. But I am good. I am good. I hope you all end up in good places. Remember, the road to some of the most beautiful mountaintops are narrow and filled with pothole, swerve dangerously close to the cliff and might be temporarily blocked by fallen trees. However, the journey is well worth the life that you can live at the top.

All I can say is, Way to go! It sounds like you are well on the way to a brighter future <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Lori

Oh sure.... the timing is never perfect. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Here I've just fallen madly and passionately in love with an amazing man who just happens to meet all of my needs - and well - I'll just leave the rest to your imagination....

Tell ya what, if he ever happens to leave me (cold day on the Galapagos Islands) I'll give you a buzz. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You are doing the right thing about your kids $ wise. They won't suffer at all in the "but everyone else has one..

ok my eyes keep closing - and i keep falling asleep....

e

She's out there you know. Give yourself time. Get a nice group of female/male friends, and give her time too.

She's probably just waiting for you to come along on your white horse.....

If you don't have one you can borrow the one my Romeo used to rescue me on....

You amaze me so very much. I hope you had a great day.

Some lovely mountains down south ya know.

I had a conversation today with my amazing, beautiful, wise-beyond-her-years 25 year old daughter. She said, some people run around searching for and proclaiming about how "happy" they are...(her father in particular). But while we LOOK for happiness, GOD can freely give us JOY.

You, my friend, have found the joy. It is in the peace you have with your life and actions, and the love you have for your sons. May that joy continue for the rest of your life. Some woman will be very fortunate some day.

God Bless.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

There still are good men out there! Your ex is an idiot.

ANNA