Just some things on my mind...
- My stxWW is setting herself up to be raped. She's meeting some guy tonight over the internet, her cyberlover. I feel oddly disaffected by it.
- She sent me an email telling me about this and encouraging me to sign dv papers from her state (that would invalidate the agreement we reached in Maryland). I bounced her email back as an undeliverable message haven't communicated to her for 3 weeks now.

In the meantime, I've reached an interesting place where I'm not thinking about her ALL the time. I feel cold and rather apathetic to what she's doing to herself. She's self-destructing and all I can think is how grateful I am that she can no longer drag me along for the ride. I still think about her lover, but my feelings have changed from wondering how I can hurt him to wondering if he wasn't more of a victim than my stbxWW had led me to believe. Granted, it's a good thing he's very far away for both him and me... but <scratches head> it's an odd thing.

It's time to let go. I know I'll still think about her and have times when I want to call her. I know I'll still be distracted by thoughts of hurting him. I know that in a few months when I hear that my stbxww calls because she has blown tens of thousands of dollars... has been raped... has contracted some kind of STD... and/or is just miserable with life... that I'll feel dissappointed in her but will not want to help her.

It's time for her to reap her own whirlwind. I'm content that her lover will and is reaping his own whirlwind... without any help from me.

If Plan A is about rekindling love. And Plan B is about presenting a more complete person. Then, Plan C is about Dissociation from The Person. It's taken me almost 9 months from D-Day. I don't know if this is a good place to be or not. But, it's a strange and unexpected place to be.

And, I wonder... what do I do with all these pictures of her and I from the past 6 years?

From your story.....To some extent I know how you feel. Right now your WW has the power...or so she thinks. She feels in control and that there is nothing you can do about her decision, which is true. Totally leaving her alone (no communication) is the best thing. I did that after my EX pulled the power trip on me. I would call occasionally during the seperation to speak with my kids and she would let me talk with them and quickly say..."Im busy, I gotta go". Well I decided on no contact with her after that. Totally gave her the cold shoulder...still chatting with my kids though, but gettin off the phone as quickly as possible. I would also drop/pick up the kids with out hardly any conversation besides talk about the kid issues. To make a long story short alot more time went by before she started to feel like I was moving on to her.......to be honest I was. The power she felt and the wall she built up between us STUCK! I no longer really wanted to be with her. Its funny what time does to the Wayward one and the one that got dumped on. The wayward one starts wanting things as they were, the dumped on struggles....goes through emotional drama....pulls the ol boot straps up and one day gets strong enough to say.....Thats it, Im done and moving on. Hope all works out for you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I don't know what to do with the pictures either.
I guess I'll go through all of them and make him an album, and each of my children albums. I think the kids would like the pictures of us.
I think your Plan C is a good idea. I feel like I'm in the middle of B and C. I'm standing back and letting him spiral alone as well.

Aly

Lyxa...just be aware that this current disassociation may be temporary. I had many such experiences. I have been separated for over 22 months now and divorced since January, and my indifference to my WS only FULLY occurred about two months ago.

You wrote: "I bounced her email back as an undeliverable message haven't communicated to her for 3 weeks now."

How do you do that?

Love and light,

Jacky

I dissociate a lot these days. I don't have kids. But I did have 6 years of my life wasted with this person. I don't know what to do with the pics. Someday I want to remarry... I doubt she'll want these pictures lying around. So, I guess I need to think about it some more.

About the email... I don't want to shut my email address down... and I do want to see the crap she sends me, well, most of me doesnt, but it's useful information. So, send an email to a wacked address like foggedwayward@biteme4ever51245.com. Because this address doesn't exist, it'll come back to you as undeliverable. Replace all the relevant info with the original content from your stbx and then forward it back to them, pay special attention to the dates and times referenced. It makes them think you closed the account after you do that once or twice. It worked for me... and she told her cyberlover I had closed my account.