For eight months since my WH's A began, I have made an effort at following MB principles (no LB, plan A, plan B, meeting ENs etc.) Well, within the last month events have transpired that have really made me say "it's over." Now it is like the volcano has erupted. Whenever I come into contact with my WH, I unleash a ton of anger. I call the OW all kinds of names; I make sarcastic comments; and tell my WH that he is a liar, cheat, immoral, a bad father, etc. I can't seem to help myself after months of restraint. My WH, on the other hand, seems to have learned some new ways of communicating and is showing unusual restraint and calmness. He is even apologetic. I get some short-lived relief from this behavior but have to think that it can't be good for me, for him, for our future relationship as divorced parents.

Did anyone else out there experience this kind of explosion once it became clear that a divorce is in the future? How did you deal with it? I, myself, feel like I have been in some kind of "fog" since WH's A began. I was 4 mths pregnant at the time and would have done anything to save the marriage. Well, I had the baby who is now 3 mths old and it is like I've now snapped out of the fog and am seeing how clearly I've been mistreated and how terrible this situation has truly been for me. Can anyone relate?

I think your reaction was perfectly normal. You were being used by your WH so who wouldn't react the way you did. To me, reacting any differently would have been abnormal. You had your life crash down upon you. Now you can step up to the plate. Refrain from the outrage because at this point it serves no purpose. Why does he act with restraint and calmness? Because he got his hand caught in the cookie jar and does not want people to perceive him any worse than he really is. This is typical. Now you must do what love really calls for - protect your children. You have to figure out how to decently raise them when one of their parents is a loser.

DIJ - your reactions are normal. You feel so betrayed by the one that you gave your life and body to. You put your trust in a deceitful, harming man. You created children with this man, and he can just forget about all of you, and move on to another. That is not the normal. What you are experiencing is normal. You are in great pain, and with having a baby that is just 3 months old, your still adjusting to being a new mother. A mother that doesn't have a husband. A husband that should be there to take the baby and let you nap. A husband that should take and give the baby a bath, and change the diaper.

Is there somewhere you can go to get help. Counseling, with your church, form a group at your church. Maybe you could have girls from the church that would enjoy watching the kids, while you took a nap. Or someone to just give you a break.

I feel for you and your family. This is so hard, and it is not fair. Life is not fair, and when you have a husband that doesn't show love and caring, you wonder where you failed. The pain is put on you, because you were faithful, and he wandered. But you are the one who was faithful and did not fall away from the marriage.

This is tough Hon, and things are going to be really tougher. I know, been there and still getting through it. I have a husband that was physically and mentally abusive to me. He doesn't want to accept that he physically abused me, but I had to have surgery to fix the abuse. Please put your self in a safe place. Make sure what you do is safe, and what you do with others is safe.

Vent here, we will try to help, and help you get through this. There are is so much good advice here. Keep posting.