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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1 |
I am trying to save my marriage of 5 years. I has an affair w/ another woman & it is completely over. My wife fought & tried everything to save our marriage when I was having the affair but now when it is over, she doesnt want to be married now. She tells me she doesnt want to be married to someone that has cheated on her & that she is not in love with me any more. I ask her why has this decision started now 18 months after the affair & not when it happened. She says she is tired or trying.
Any help would be greatly appreciated in this situation of trying to convince her that our marriage is worth saving & for her not to give up on us.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950 |
Ricky I'm sorry for your situation but you have got to understand that being a witness to a spouse's on going A is a very emotionally draining experience. Your W said she was tired of trying and that ain't no lie, that being said, try to give her some time off to emotionally recover and not pressure her to work on marital recovery for the moment. Just as you were not to be beleived when you were involved in your A, your W's statement should not be beleived either because her emotions are ruling her at this moment. If she tells you she wants a divorce don't cry, argue, plead, threaten her because it will only make matters worse. Agree as much as you can with her because doing so you stand a good chance of diffusing some of the hurt, anger, or resentment she has at the moment for you.
This board is full of fine people, but they are either already divorced or in the midsts of finalizing their divorces, so their advise may not be what you are looking for. Why not go over to the Infidelity General Questions II board and post your questions there?
In the meantime read everything here on this website and the Harley books 'Surviving An Affair''Love Busters' and 'His Needs Her Needs'. Also Michelle Weiner Davis 'Divorce Busting''Divorce Remedy' and 'The Sex Starved Marriage'. Try telephone consultation with the Harley's (Steve and Jennifer) for a professional plan of action to save your marriage.
You are not alone.
<small>[ April 30, 2003, 06:59 PM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>
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