Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2 |
If anyone has any advice please let me know. Here is my situation:
My husband and I will be married 2 years this month. He was in school most of the time we were dating, 8 years. He graduated right before our wedding. During the time we were dating, and since, he has assured me he would get a job. The problem is he hasn't. I am at my wits end.
This is the pattern:
He says he is going to get a job. Puts a half-hearted effort into looking. (Has applied for maybe 20 jobs in over 2 years) Vacation or the holidays roll around so he doesn't look because he "doesn't want to go into a job asking for time off".
He has said directly to me that "as long as you are making good money, I really don't need to work".
What I don't understand is that he doesn't feel any obligation to help with the bills or food or any expenses...AND he tells me what I can and can't spend money on.
Additionally, he doesn't really help around the house. I ask him to do things and even leave notes and he will do a little and then not finish. BUT he will go to his mother's home weekly and help her with cleaning.
I am about to kick him out!!! I've tried everything I can think of...we've been in counseling together. I'm in counseling myself. He refuses to go himself.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 388
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 388 |
Repeat this sentence to him:
"Your laziness and refusal to work are utterly unattractive to me. I'm starting to think I made a mistake"
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2
Junior Member
|
|
Junior Member
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 2 |
We have had many discussions on the subject. I have told him previously that I wish we had waited until he had a job to get married. Part of the problem is he has never been on his own and had to work. I, on the other hand, left home at 18 and have been working since high school.
I am very concerned about staying in this marriage because if he can break promises so easily and not be a partner now, what will happen if/when we bring children into it.
I am reaching the age where my time for having children is getting limited and I would like to have one or two. I'm just not sure that I can feel confident that he will be there for them since he hasn't been there for me.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
719
guests, and
98
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,042
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
