It has been a while since my last post, but I'm posting to update my situation. I feel so much better. My situation has not changed. My H decided he would rather be with OW than me, and I've decided that I'm going to be much better off. I've found that there are others who find me attractive, and, even without that, I like me more and more now. Maybe H was right. Maybe we weren't meant to be. I still have others who tell me he is going to want his family back one day, but instead of leaning on this, I really, truly, don't care if he does. He threw us away almost a year ago (in May 2002 he began acting strangely, then told me he wasn't happy and we separated in June 2002 for a week). I held on as long as I could--for months. Even though the final split didn't come until September, when I was hit with the truth of the A, I feel he left us a long long time ago. Up until February 2003, I was racked with depression, crying uncontrollably, but I finally made a decision. This is my life, and my boys' lives, and I will succeed in having a good life, with or without H.

I suppose I'm posting to let you other BS's know that when you find peace, and realize you cannot change another person actions or decisions but you can change your own reactions, then there is a life out there we can claim and take hold of.

I love you all, and I pray for marriages everywhere to be stronger. I still feel it is Satan's attack against us in that he is breaking up the family that God ordained. However, I no longer think that my life is over because one person in the world decided he wanted something else other than a life with me. My opinion? It's his loss!!!! He's missing out on a great life with his kids, that's for sure. Not to mention a great woman who would have been faithful to him no matter what.

I signed papers 2 weeks ago. I thought I'd be devastated, but I'm not. It's time to live life again.

Love to you all..
Kim

Kimmy2----I can relate. So glad you are progressing in surviving infidelity...I thought I could never live without my husband. He became my idol, he was my first love and I knew no other man. He was my life. He, too, has rejected me for another and I am finding my life is fuller, more peaceful and very enjoyable.

I, too, believe that my WS does not know what is good for him. His life is so much harder now and he claims that he will never marry the OW......it is still a secret, sneaky thing that he and she are involved in. He is 57 and she is 28. She is younger than his sons which does not go over real big with them. It is embarassing.

However, I no longer think that my life is over because one person in the world decided he wanted something else other than a life with me. My opinion? It's his loss!!!! He's missing out on a great life with his kids, that's for sure. Not to mention a great woman who would have been faithful to him no matter what.

What freedom these thoughts bring!!!!! To let go and let God fill our lives with his best is an awesome experience. I love my new apartment and my new life is full of adventure and serenity.

TW

Amen! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
When Satan closes a door God opens a window.

Aly

Thanks so much for the support. I really am feeling great, although I do hold a little sadness for what could have been in my mind. Now I realize, that was in my mind! He wasn't the person I thought he was, and I had built him up so much. He was (is) very handsome, and I think he lost a lot of his humility in this affair. He used to be much more grounded and family oriented. My "dream" has been over for a while, and I am now realizing that the stress that went with the dream is over.

I have a male friend, who actually graduated high school with my XH, that I have been spending time with. (He's divorced, too) He knows my morals and knows I"m not into having sex right now, but he thinks I'm attractive, and he has been a greater friend to me than my husband had been in a long time. It is nice to see that there are still great people out there. We talk all the time and spend time on the weekends I don't have the boys. It's great to have that support from someone other than family, who is of the opposite sex.

Anyway, remember, there are opportunities out there, and sometimes when we are put into situations we didn't plan for (divorce in my case) sometimes that is what will eventually give us peace. I don't agree with divorce, but it takes 2 to want to stay in a marriage. So, I intend to make the best of it, and I'm enjoying the less stress right now!