Well, got back from a parent weekend at my D's residential therapy school. It went well, I really like the area and she is doing very good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Times have gotten pretty scary, the county has put a hold on my child support so I came back into town and had bounced checks. I have several clients that haven't paid (past due amount about $4000) so I haven't been able to pay my bills, mortgage or anything else. I am totally freaking out about it.

Got a call from the detective, not enough "evidence" to convict ex for the child abuse, so ex walks free. Yes, we all KNOW it was done, but he is a waste of time as far as a "conviction" is concerned.

I'm tired, scared and ready to just give up. I held on for 3 years of being attacked and harassed, managed to keep my house and sanity for the kids, grow the business, but I really just want to quit trying.

Lori

Lori,

Things sound pretty rough and I am sorry for that. But you have fought to long and to hard to just give up!!!!

The pity party is probably warranted!!! And that is ok!!! You just can't stay all night!!! It's one of those parties that you have to leave early, if you know what I mean!!!!

You should be very proud of everything that you have accomplished, you have done an awesome job!!!!

So, my parting words are this have the party, just don't stay to long!!!!!OK!

Take care,
Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Lori, I second what Dawn said. You should definitely be proud of yourself. I relate to your story but I'm not even Dv'd yet. I ended contact completely last May and it's taken that long to begin to get some peace of mind, and I'm not dealing with kids and child support! So, give yourself a break.

I found out last week about more serious child abuse issues with my H and his niece and nephew who lived with us for 4 years. I'm not doing anything about it because at this point my peace of mind is too precious to me (and they're not interested in pursuing it). If you're feeling at the point of giving up, it's time to take care of YOU.

Lori,

How was the party? I hope that it's over and you are back on a good path and things are working out for you better then before!!!

Let us know how things are ok?

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks Dawn and LetSTry! Yep, guess I had a pity party going and just needed to write down a few things. Trying to climb out of a hole that keeps sucking me back under <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Anyway, after numerous phone calls and a lot of time, I finally got one child support check released and one of the past due accounts paid off, so got the worst of the bills taken care of, the rest of the accounts were called and told they would have a bit of delay, but it would get there. Just hate doing that as it is supplies for my business and it sort of shuts down my business if I can't pay for supplies.

On a good note... I got to spend 2 days of work at a gorgeous ranch. Just looking at the horses and the surrounding area made things a bit better! The office manager told my dad that they think highly of me and are very impressed with the work I have done there and that made me feel a lot better, too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

On a bad note... My dad and I bumped into ex at the bank. I totally ignored him, he tried to say hi to my dad and my dad just stared at him. After ex finished at the counter he walked over to my dad and asked him how he was doing. Dad said, fine, and turned his back on my ex. I think ex got the picture... it was sort of clubbed over his head <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Dad really wants to write a letter to the paper about the injustices of the system and all that we went through at the hands of ex and his attorney, but it's all in rough draft at the moment. Ex lives off his "image" and is really a product of smoke and mirrors.

Anyway, that is where it stands at the moment. The wolf has stepped away from the door briefly, and I have a meeting with a SCORE person Monday to look at several options to maybe not be so vulnerable to missed payments. I'm back to trying again <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Lori

lori,

I was begioning to wonder if you had stayed to long at that party and if we were going to have to send someone out looking for you!!!!

Glad that you were able to get the child support and at least get one bill paid off. I am sure that feels good!!!

Good for your dad!!! The few times my xH and parents have been around each other, my parents are very cool, they actually try to avoid him when he comes to visit the kids. Graduation in a few weeks will probably be a different story, the D that is graduating has asked her stepmother to come. UGH!!!! Why do kids set us up that way!!!! I can deal with xH, have never meet this wife, but I guess I will be on my home turf so that will be good!

What type of work is it that you do, that you work for yourself? You must be very good at whatever it is!!!!

Glad that party is over, but please remember to invite the rest of us to the next one as it is no fun to party alone!!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

((((((((((((((((((PRAYERS))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((( HUGGS))))))))))))))))))))))

YOUR TOP PRIORITY ON MY HEART PRAYER REQUEST! I feel the saddness and profound disappointment. The oppression is so terribly heavy isn't it?

I am sending you love, huggs, more love..

OK, got a moment to reply. Think the pity party ended... am looking ahead and trying to do what needs to get done. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks for the hugs, prayers, and helpful thoughts! They all found their way to me and I'm doing better.

Dawn, I am a jack of all trades and master of absolutely nothing, LOL. Seriously, I am a water treatment operator and an industrial plumber. I do strange things like install chlorination systems, hypochlorinate things, design and install water treatment systems for houses, ranches, etc. I suppose if there is water involved, I get asked to work with it.

Coin toss is still out on whether I am actually good at what I do or just the cheapest. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I think it is a little of both, actually.

Been busy the past few days, back at the wonderful ranch which of course makes everything else disappear as far as it seems like one is in another world.

Finally got my yards mowed and a lady visiting next door told me I had a beautiful yard... if she would have seen it before it was mowed she wouldn't recognize it. It made me feel good!

Went and talked to a SBA consultant Monday and he gave me pointers to work with to try and get my business more profitable. Turns out that with all the stuff going on in my life, I've managed to do OK and the business is in decent shape... I told the guy he didn't want to see the personal side of things though. He gave me some tools to try out for a few weeks and then we will look at it all again. The main thread was that I don't value myself enough (to think it is obvious even looking at financials is kind of spooky).

Maybe my daughter was right... and that I am the one that needs to be doing the positive peer culture lifestyle she is doing at her school. I know my parents really have no idea how I managed to stay sane with all the stuff my ex was doing. I told my dad that it was this MB board who kept me sane.

Thank you all. I'll try and not have another pity party again.

Lori