I was going through an old box of memories, and found this. Someone had given it to me in college, I don't know who, but I realized that I needed it now more than ever. Here it is. I hope it helps you all some too.

Everyone longs to give himself completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to a Christian, says “No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled, and content with being loved by Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow me to give you the most thrilling, plan existing one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things, keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait, that’s all. Don’t be anxious. Don’t look at the things you want. You just keep looking off and up to Me or you’ll miss what I want to show you. And then when you are ready, I’ll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could dream of. You see, until you are ready (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and this perfect love. And Dear one, I want you to have the most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relation with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am the Almighty God. Believe it and be satisfied.

I totally love this! I copied it and put it in my documents. It explains things so well. I have gone for the past years just wanting things to turn out the way I wanted, not leaning on God. Now I know that He has a plan, and that even though I'm divorced, I can still be happy in Him.

I found that I can't control another human's actions, and while my H decided to destroy his marriage and family, I did not take part in that. Sure, it takes two, I know that, but I also know that I can say I have no regrets in how I was as a wife. And I have God to thank for that. I can even say that after learning of the affair, I still asked H to go to Christian marriage couseling, and he refused. He wants OW. So, I have God to thank that even to the end, I know I put my marriage first. I can't change my XH, but I can move on and be happy again, and I AM!!

I feel less stress than I have for a long time. I used to worry about newly XH not contacting me or boys for days upon days, but now I realize the boys are doing fine, and I am too. I was totally devastated to find H's affair with OW (a married coworker who was friends with him for years outside of their job). I spent months sobbing, but now I realize I have a new life. A life that only God knows how it will turn out, and one in which I can lean on His understanding.
He is making things ok for me and the boys. I love Him, and am thankful for it all. We should rejoice in every day because God is here, giving us life.

Thanks to you all for allowing me to air my feelings.

Both of these posts were very upliftng for me.

I try very hard every day to leave it all in God's hands, lean only on Him....some days, I'm very good at that, others, I'm sorry to say, I'm not.

But what you both said spoke volumes to me, even as I re-read email from my attorney convening settlement news on a divorce I truly with all my heart don't want, for a marriage I desperately wanted to save.

Thanks to you both!

Broken, I'm sorry for you, truly I am. I totally know how you feel as far as having to go through with a divorce you don't want. If I'm right, you are probably a lot like me in that you would have lived in your marriage sacrificing your happiness for the sake of the marriage. I thought my marriage was unshakable. I loved (and still do love) my husband so very much. I loved him even though he had faults, and I was very sure that no matter what, our love for each other would make it. However, this ordeal has taught me that I can stand on my own two feet. Like you, we were high school sweethearts, so I truly don't remember what it's like to be without him. I've never had a "single" life because H was my first date. We instantly hit it off, both of us having so much in common. We made it through a lot, and then he started changing a few years ago. Began becoming very negative about everything. He didn't have any patience, and this correlated with the beginning of his "friendship" with OW. I was forced to accept this friendship (he denied any feelings for her at first, but true friendship), and I finally did. When I finally accepted it, when I finally became comfortable with it, thinking they were just great friends, he hit me with "I'm not happy anymore" in June 2002. Then I find out that he's in love with her and planning to leave his family. He has admitted the PA, and still wants her (mind you, she was also married, and left her H 4 months later) I was completely devastated. However, NOW is when I have to live. I can't hold on to a past that is now bittersweet. I remember the great times we had in our early years, but then I also remember the person he became--verbally abusive and rather mean, as well as the person I became--a weak, insecure woman hanging on to every thread. I don't want to live like that anymore, and I've decided I don't have to.

We can take control of our lives. I have learned that over the past year. I have complete control over my life, and I can either be miserable because this adulterous man has decided to leave me, or I can say, "God, what better things do you have planned for me?" I know He has more planned for me than living with someone who wanted to be elsewhere. I used to think all the time (after separation) about where he was and what he was doing. How I hoped he felt sorry one day for doing this. You know what? Maybe he will, maybe he won't. I can't concern myself with that. It would consume me. I have a life of my own, and I'm ready for it. I'm leaving his for him, and going out to get my own life. Sure, if he asks for forgiveness one day, it would be nice, but I'm letting go now.

I pray you will become stronger, as I have. I know you have been in the marriage longer, and I think that makes it harder. That is one thing I am thankful for, that it went ahead and ended now rather than 10 more years down the road.

Don't give up, broken x 3. Claim your life back, and begin to live again. You aren't being unfaithful to him, rather you are being faithful to yourself when you do this.

Love to you,
Kim

Broken and Kimmy,
I am glad this has helped you two. We are all going through tough times. I was only married since Nov. 4, 2000 and we dated since 1997. He was my best friend and even though I knew we had problems, I never expected that Aug. day when I found out he had been with a Married Woman that he knew for 3 weeks at work. Who was also a mother of a 2.5 year old. And I never expected that in feb. I would find out she was pregnant with my H's child, My H who was not ready to have children. But it all has happened. And it stinks. But then you have to think, Ok God works all things for good for those who LOVE HIM. And I do love Him. And some may say it is a crutch or it sounds contrite- but I say, YAY GOD. Thank God there is a way. Thank God that this yuckiness is not all there is to this life. And I pray for my H and for OW and for the baby that they have created, because I know that they all need God so much. And I hope that one day my ex-WH (divorce was final in March) can look at me and say he is a man of God. But I have to change me, and work on me, and care for me, right now. And let God do the rest......
Have a great night....
Adgirl