Every Wed. we are to pray and fast for one another. Every Weds we can check in and let everyone know we have prayed for the group. Prayer does mighty things and group prayer is even better.

Right now I am doing "Experiencing God Day by Day" and Lupolady is doing "Power of a Praying Wife" for the ladies. You can use this as your prayer or have your own or combine them.

I think it will be great to see how God works in our lives and heals our marriages and us.

If you want to pray with us I will be more than happy to add your name to the list below.

Prayer Warriors who are praying and being prayed for: cajunky,Ezra, Willgetthruthis, Godisincontrol, Natasha79, JohnC, c++_guy, Wallace, relady, steadfast and committed, morriggs,lupolady, stillwaiting, Broken Hearted, PasDeDeux, hopeful_person,GinnyF, Not peachy in Ga, cry2much,SNL,LostAgain(Dave&April), Dodger, gloriachu, LoveNcare,JMF,WEN, NiteHawk, Absurd, LetSTry,AgainsttheWind,cemmerson, getting better,kellidiane,Terrified, BeeLee,idostylin, Resilient, thiscantbehappening, day by day, Jloves, broken x3, Sue with Hope, sunrise1, shepette, Malc, Faithfulwife, timbo-e,Angelia,FeelingAllAlone,broken_joe,dopey,awake,truly a friend, Is it to late, stilltryingtosaveit, landslide,GODBLESSU,vega,LoyalWarrior,janna-m-r,ferbie,epiphOny,simmy,cajeanie,d_rose,lost_lonely, briank4775, mayflower,Caged_Bird,LunaDove, goldielocks109

Prayers Answered: Lupolady(air conditioner),Steadfastandcommitted(first string again),cry2much(sucessful surgery), Movingonwithlife(Wife coming home),WGTT(accepted into mentor program), betrayed and desparate (sucessful cancer surgery),Againstthewind(Got job), Free ( Marriage Restoration begun ), cajunky (wife not engaged & did something with family, told me she loved me), Stillwaiting(neice is o.k.), Stillwaiting(Got to see her husband for 2 hours and his heart seems to have softened), Steadfastandcommitted (wife gave up other man and said steadfast is stuck with her. God showed her the change was for real in steadfast),janna-m-r (Husband came home and wants to try to restore marriage even though he is the BS), tsc (marriage being restored)

<small>[ May 05, 2003, 05:38 PM: Message edited by: lupolady ]</small>

Continued prayers for financial help for me will be greatly appreciated. God has truly sustained me emotionally and financially these last few months, but it continues to be a real struggle. I cannot keep up with my electric bill and they are threatening to turn off the lights the middle of this month if I can't come up with more money. My stbx cannot/will not help with this. I am pursuing help thru local agencies but they can only do so much.
Thank you all - I will hold you up in my prayers as well.

What's happening with cajunky? Is he okay?

I will be out of town at a conference for work all this week, but I will continue to pray with and for all of you.

Thanks lupolady for carrying on with our prayer group...

Ditto...

I'm worried about cajunky--he's been so quiet. May I suggest that as a group we pray for HIM this week? So many weeks he has been such a prayer-warrior for us, on our behalfs--let's share our prayers for cajunky this week.

"Blessed are You, Lord our God, King of the Universe, Creator of Your most precious creation, us! In everything give thanks, You said. Well, thank You and praise Your name for our brother cajunky. Thank You for all the times You have worked through him to use this prayer thread. Thank You for his courage to share his own life and his own struggles with us. Thank You for all the people You have encouraged and supported through this group of prayer-warriors. Thank You for the miraculous work You have done in his life, and for allowing us to see it. Wow!

Now we pray together tonight and lift up cajunky to You. You KNOW what is Your will, and You know what needs to be done. Now we just pray that you would fill cajunky with Your peace to accept the things that can not be changed, the courage to work hard at changing the things that can be changed, and Your wisdom to know the difference or at least seek out wise council. Send ministering angels to cajunky to minister to him tonight, and fill him with Your presence so that he KNOWS that You are there.

In complete agreement we pray. Amen"

----------
I've had a really difficult time this week working on some of my S-Anon Step One questions again. This week, the questions were about how I felt about my own beauty, and I really hurt to remember how ugly I felt to my stbxH. He is attracted to flute body-types and I am a guitar body-type. While we were together, I used to cry and cry because I wanted to be a flute so badly just so I could please him. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> It's too bad too--because while both instruments can make beautiful music, guitars are quite passionate. I'm slowly learning to enjoy being a guitar, but I still occasionally see a flute and wish...

I wanted to be a beauty to him, and sometimes I wonder if it was my guitar-ness or if was just another symptom of the SA sickness that had him searching for flutes...maybe because he HAD a guitar at home.

Oh well. Old, bad, sad memories. They creep up on you sometimes.

CJ

Lupolady,
Thanks for keeping us going. Cajunky, I am praying for you and everyone else. Thanks for everyone's prayers.

I'm praying, too. Thank you, everyone; prayer does indeed move mountains and heal hearts.

Yeah, now it's Tuesday evening, and I'm worried about our brother Cajunk. I guess we need to send out an APB for him!

Please, everyone, let's remember to hold him up in our prayers. He's had his extreme "ups and downs" lately. His spiritual life and relationship w/Jesus going great, his family, xW not so hot.

Also, selfishly, <blush> I am requesting prayers for my situation as well.

Don't know how many saw my post over the week-end - xH finally called me, too. After 10 months. Out of the blue. Well, it was related to a "family crisis," but truthfully, since I am not "kin" to his family (sons), I didn't really think he had to include me. But he did. Testing the waters, maybe? Seeing how things shape up, maybe?

Please look for my post (here in Div/Div'd), and read it and give me your feedback. I'm feeling like the Lord is finally working on him, and maybe getting ready to turn things ever so slightly.....

Thanks for all of your support.
This group is great, isn't it?

God Bless us all.

It's not a marriage issue - but I would like to be added to your list.

I am having trouble liking my son. He's young. But he's being difficult. Won't follow instructions until I get angry. And I'm tired of being angry. Very tired.

I need patience and calmness and to not get sucked into giving him the negative attention he seems to find most rewarding.

He's a sweet child but just doesn't seem to want/feel compelled to do ANYTHING I ask. Unless he can make a federal case of it and whine or scream until my anger is fueled to the max.

I'm not liking the job of being his mother. EVERYTHING is such a battle. He can't even get dressed in the mornings without it being a struggle - and he's 10!

Cinder,

Will be glad to help with this problem with your son.

Here are a few suggestions: Observe him closely for a few days, during "happy" times, etc. and try to figure out what "pushes his happy buttons."

In other words, figure out what motivates him, what things he does want, and use THAT to get him to do what you need. It's not unlike a M in that we all speak a different "language" to each other, and his "behavior language" is obviously different than yours! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

He's getting something from the negative attention. Try to quit giving him that, and start moving him toward wanting more of the positive. All hard, I know, but worth it in the end!

We'll be praying for you to have more patience with him, also showing him UNconditional love, maybe that'll be something that will turn him around.

God Bless,

BLESSINGS TO EVERYONE TODAY !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

"This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it"

Expect great things today ...... ask, seeek, knock ...... and be prepared to receive

D.

PS: Cajunky - that means you too

<small>[ May 07, 2003, 07:43 AM: Message edited by: WillGetThruThis ]</small>

Hi everyone...Just a short note to say I am O.K.

My wife has set a wedding date for june 28. I was still praying for reconciliation. Then they bought a house together. When this happened I let go of such a big piece of her that I haven't prayed for us in about a week. I love you guys but maybe God is not going to answer my prayer like I want him to. God knows my prayers but maybe my walk with him doesn't include my former wife.

I am still praying for all of you and please don't give up on your spouses like my wife gave up on me. I will definetly be here and be praying for you.
I will post some more in a couple days.

Love in Christ
cajunky

All things work for the best for those who love the Lord.. I know sometimes it's hard to believe. I'll be praying for the best for you. I'm glad you checked in, we were all thinking of you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by cajunky:
<strong> My wife has set a wedding date for june 28. I was still praying for reconciliation. Then they bought a house together...maybe God is not going to answer my prayer like I want him to. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey Caj,

Not trying to give you false hope, since I do not know what God has in store for your M, BUT - I do know THIS:

GOD HATES DIVORCE. Period. God's will is always to restore M's. I believe not everyone lets Him, but I believe He wants to.

OK, so knowing that, WHY WOULD YOU stop praying for your W? B/c she has decided NOT to listen to the Holy Spirit?

WHERE is your faith? Do you not believe God can intervene? Do you not believe God's Word about how He can bring back the Prodigals who stray, run away, commits sins, et.al?

I thought you had more faith than this....I thought you were more grounded than this.

SO WHAT if they bought a house together! SO WHAT!!! God is more powerful than this "major purchase" deal. If this is all your faith is worth, then I think you've got a LOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG way to go yet.

Remember, Rev. 12:12.......satan works all the harder when he knows his time is short. Maybe all this events are coming to a head, cause satan knows what's around the next corner!

Also, remember "Whoever puts aside their mate and marries another commits adultery." (Can't remember the reference, and too lazy to look it up!) So if your W is going to continue to commit adultery, you don't think you need to pray for her?!?!?!?!? TO keep her from entering HELL b/c of her actions?!?!?!?!?!?

Is your faith so small that you only believe God can do whatever the circumstance seem to indicate are happening right now???? Our God is a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Our God is a God who knows us from our inner-most. Our deepest thoughts, ALL our good and our bad. satan must ask Our Omnipotent God before he can even harrass us, and even then!!! Our Loving, Heavenly Father will only give him so much power to do some little something before God pulls him up short. So sometimes God allows circumstances FOR HIS PURPOSES. We can't know them. Satan doesn't know how God is going to use his harrassment of us to OUR good, but God always does!!!

So don't you think this same ALL POWERFUL God is allowing your W to have this "season" of sin in order to fulfill His Perfect Will in her and you?!?!?!? It could be to teach you (both) to trust Him more, to lean on Him more, to KNOW the depth of His Love, His Power in your life, and the Restorative Power of the Risen Jesus Christ.

God's perfect will is that No man should perish, but all come to knowledge of Him, and Christ crucified. If this is what it takes, and it brings your whole family back to Him, keeps her out of Eternal Damnation.....won't a little bit more waiting be worth it???

Brother Caj, please understand I am NOT pretending to know God's will for you or your family. HOWEVER, I am one who believes God wants to restore as many families as will allow Him to do so. I also believe we always want to give up right before the miracle happens!! It hasn't happened to me, yet, but I might get to this place you are at one day. I have some wonderful friends who always lift me up when I am down, and I would hope they would give me a "talking to" if I ever GAVE UP on my M.

We used to have a saying over on Prayer Requests forum. It was: Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle b/c I believe most people do!! I refuse to let you "give up" five minutes before your miracle arrives!!! Hang on, Cajunk. Hang on just five minutes more. Please.

Try.

Ask Him. Do it.

Pray.

Please.

God Bless,

Hey Caj,

First of all, I'm glad to hear from you. I gotta tell ya, I'm with Lupolady on this one.

I once ask a wise sage some questions a couple of months back and among the other stuff he said this; "I thought about your situation and I want to start out by saying WWJD (What Would Jesus Do)? Later he said; "I know it is scary but we have to trust God that he will take care of our needs."

Do you recall who told me that? You get one guess. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Caj, like lupo said; We have a big God, bigger than the purchase of a house, bigger that a wedding day planned and bigger than our fears of what might happen and were we will be if things don't go the way we planned. "Our God is an awsome God!" May your faith be awsome as well.

I got you in the crosshairs of my prayers today my friend, be lifted up and blessed.

Aloha buddy,

S&C

Cajunky,

First, I am SOOOOooooooo glad to hear from you. Hey, just hearing you're ALIVE is a major blessing and relief!!

Second, I'm going to kindly and lovingly chastise Lupolady and S&C--two of the most committed, faithful, dedicated people I know. Here's why I'm going to speak up to them a little--my dear friends, haven't you ever been in the pit of despair and FELT like there was no way out of it? When a person is in a pit, they do not need a big pep-talk about how powerful our God is...honestly I suspect Cajunky knows every bit of what you told him, and I suspect he knows it down to his core. Nope. When a person is in a pit, first they need help out of the pit and THEN the pep talk.

So, Cajunky, here is the truth. You are a human and God is not. You do not know HOW He is going to work His will, only that He will. Right now, you had been praying that God would re-unite you and your wife and your family in (literally) holy matrimony. We here on earth can not tell if God's answer is "no" or if He is just saying "wait"--but we CAN tell that His answer sure looks like it's going to be "not now." I am not discounting the fact that there could be a miraculous intervention, but for right now, it looks as though God is going to allow your exW to choose to disobey Him and live with another man. That sucks, but that's the way it is.

In the meantime, Cajunky, you don't know if God's answer to your prayers is "no" or "wait", but you DO know that if God allows this to happen, sitting around and moping about it is not being joyful in the Lord. He told us: "In EVERYTHING give thanks, for this is the will of God, in Christ Jesus, concerning you..." YOU, Cajunky. Okay, I KNOW you are heartsick and feel like dying inside, but it is God's will for you to give thanks, man! Praise His name that He's still working His program!!! Thank Him putting someone in your exW's life who will gently care for her. Thank Him for the opportunity to work through you to reach BOTH him and her--and your children! Tell Him that you don't get it, and you don't see it, but you know that you are supposed to be thankful for the way that He holds you in His hand and the way that He sends angels to minister to you. Cajunky...He will LITERALLY send angels to minister to you.

If God's answer is "wait", I'm not going to kid you...God's time is WAY different than our time. So different that 1,000 years in His eyes seem like one day. So you could be waiting for a while. As an example, look at Joseph. He was sold into slavery by his own brothers, taken to a place FAR away from his home, worked as a slave for a rich lady, and when he refused to satisfy her sexually, HE WAS THROWN IN PRISON WRONGLY ACCUSED! He sat in prison, literally forgotten, for years--waiting for when God would "do His thing" and get him outta there. Kinda makes your story seem like a cake-walk, doesn't it? Joseph sat for YEARS, waiting...waiting...growing in faith and TRUSTING GOD. Joseph knew that if he just waited, when God was ready HE would move. All Joseph had to do was be patient, be still, and WAIT. Funny thing is, while Joseph was waiting, God used him in prison too! So Cajunky, you may have to wait a while--and it may be YEARS. Don't be in such a rush for God to restore this marriage "right now"!! Maybe God is telling you "WAIT ON ME."

Next, if God's answer is "no" then it IS going to hurt you, my brother. It hurts to go through the fires of purification...everything that is worthless and not of God gets burned away--and even the golden value will be melted and it's form completely changed. But in the end, God knows what He's doing, so have some faith in Him...meaning, "Hey, God--You are killing me here, this hurts so much! But I know that You know what You're doing, so help me have the courage to get through what I have to get through. I trust You to take me where You need me to go, and I'm leaving it in YOUR hands rather than trying to control things from down here."

Finally, my brother, no matter WHAT happens I can say one thing with complete confidence...you will NEVER go through this alone. Oh, you will feel lonely alright, but you are not the only one standing for a marriage that seems hopeless or hurting or confused. Heck, Lupolady and S&C have YEARS on ya, buddy!! And look at my life!! I know that I could be a blessing to my stbxH and to his life and to his mental health and to HIM, but he has choosen to refuse to listen to God's whisper in his ear, and God is allowing him free will. That is the way it is! It sucks. At times, I feel so alone--utterly alone--and so depressed and so hopeless! What's the point of standing for a marriage that no one WANTS?? That's the way I "feel" sometimes, but Cajunky, feelings are not the Lord...that's why I have grown up enough to know to let them pass. I may reach out for a little understanding or supportive hug--but I let the feelings pass. Too often, our feelings are not "of God" and when we base our actions on "feelings" instead of the promises of God and faith in Him--that's when we can get into trouble.

So, my brother, I understand that you feel so hurt and sad that you can not recover. I know just how you feel--and so do so many people on this thread for whom we pray. We are standing here with you, and you are not alone. While you are weak and down, we will stand here in your place for you, BUT we aren't going to join you down there in your pit. We are going to stand up here and sing praises to God, for you, about you, and on your behalf. Okay?? Okay. Write when you can stick one toe outside the pit.

CJ

Once again, FW, you have stated much more eloquently almost exactly what I thought I was saying.

As usual, one of the only points you and I differ on is the issue of God's Will, and our free will. The other one is the question of whether or not God wants to restore this M. It is my express belief that God wants to restore every M, at least every M He has sanctified. I guess that's a major difference as well.

I felt I was encouraging Cajunk, but maybe I just got carried away. As I was writing my post, I was thinking of a previous poster on these boards about a year and a half ago whose W was the WS. She divorced him, bought a house with her om, married him! - and THEN God moved to show her the error her ways, and she was able to obtain an annulment from this M, and return to her BS. I'm not sure you can find his story anymore. If anyone wants to do a search, his screen name was "Please Help" - and his real name is Frank.

I'll apologize if my comments were taken as slightly too caustic for Caj to handle right now. I'll simply say that I join my brothers and sisters here in praying for strength and wisdom for Cajunky during this difficult test.

God Bless all my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Oh my heavens, woman, don't apologize! Your post was filled with zeal and enthusiasm! I could tell that you really KNEW and FELT what you were writing passionately!! But as someone who has been in the pit from time to time, I think there is a time for hugs/encouragement that's quiet and firm, and there's a time for zeal/encouragement that's energetic and vital.

Meanwhile, I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to clarify something:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong> As usual, one of the only points you and I differ on is the issue of God's Will, and our free will. The other one is the question of whether or not God wants to restore this M. It is my express belief that God wants to restore every M, at least every M He has sanctified. I guess that's a major difference as well. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As several protestant denominations can attest, the fine line between God's Will and free will can divide a fellowship. I wanted you to know that I really do think it is a fine line. I believe God has a "perfect will" and then there are things He allows to happen and uses them to work His Will anyway. And actually, broken marriages are a perfect example of this! I WHOLEHEARTEDLY and firmly believe that it is God's perfect will that marriages be an example on earth of His love, commitment and devotion to us. I also firmly believe that it is God's perfect will that marriage vows be taken EXTREMELY seriously, and that there literally be a lifelong commitment to ONE person--and that the two should become one. Finally I firmly believe that when a marriage is torn asunder by infidelity, it is God' perfect will that the couple humbly come before Him, admit their sins, and reconcile via becoming the people God intends for them to be--and this may require counseling, or a 12-step program or something like that. PERIOD. That is God's perfect will for every marriage, even mine.

That being said, I will state once again, just as WHOLEHEARTEDLY directly for myself that I believe it is God's perfect will for my stbxH to recognize his sexual addiction and work on it, to take steps to deal with his mental illnesses, and to reconcile our marriage--and it is God's perfect will for me to recognize my S-Anon co-addiction and work on it, to take steps to deal with my inability to stand up for myself and be an individual, and to reconcile our marriage. That would be God's perfect will. I strongly believe that I was intended to love my stbxH for as long as I live, and I intend to fulfill that.

HOWEVER, here's where the perfect will and the free will get mixed up. God my want my stbxH to do A,B, and C to reconcile the marriage--but He doesn't force him to do so. I believe it's sin, but my stbxH is free to choose to continue to live in his illnesses if he so desires. Where does that leave me? It seems like limbo, right?? Well, personally, I believe God says, "Okay, well, I will allow Mr. CJ to make his choices because I want people to come to Me out of love, but I won't abandon CJ while Mr. CJ does. I will still do my work through her and I will still do my Will in her life. Yes, I'm omnicient so I knew Mr. CJ would make that choice, but I gave him the opportunity to choose differently--and I will continue to give him the opportunity to choose differently. Until then CJ also has the chance to choose every moment if she's going to act in my Will for where she's at now, or not."

Lupolady, I really believe that it is God's perfect will to reconcile every marriage. I just believe that He allows our spouses to wander around in the desert for a while--and He still continues to work His will even while they are wandering.

CJ

Wow, I concentrate on work for two days and look what I miss.

I came here just before leaving to go home and I find myself being graciously reminded what is it like to be in the pit. If only all rebukesand chastising felt as good as yours, thank you FW.

Caj, I'm sorry if I didn't seem like I was being sympathetic to what you were going through. It was not what I had in mind. The marriage conference I went to last weekend suggested that when we hear what others are going through, we should take the time and spend it in the "mud puddle" with them. I didn't do that with you brother and I apologize. You have been there for all of us so many times I'm beginning to lose count (at least every Wed. for the last 9 months). I think it's safe to say; "when you hurt we hurt". And we try to say and do things that might help the hurt.

I do want you to know that I am always wishing and praying for God to give you your heart's desire. He is truly an awsome God and Father. And you are His child. Take refuge in that, and know He will give you good things.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I believe God says, "Okay, well, I will allow Mr. CJ to make his choices because I want people to come to Me out of love, but I won't abandon CJ while Mr. CJ does. I will still do my work through her and I will still do my Will in her life. Yes, I'm omnicient so I knew Mr. CJ would make that choice, but I gave him the opportunity to choose differently--and I will continue to give him the opportunity to choose differently. Until then CJ also has the chance to choose every moment if she's going to act in my Will for where she's at now, or not."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Once again FW has put into words what my heart feels to be true. Sometimes you scare me FW (lol).

BTW, how old do you think I am anyway? What do you mean I got "YEARS" on Caj? Gotta go.

Have a great weekend and Bless you all.

S&C <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

This is the fourth or fifth consecutive gray, rainy day in Colorado, and believe it or not, I think it's a record. I've lived here for 20 years now, and we just do not have consecutive gray, rainy days. It affects my mood, because I feel gray and I also want to curl up in bed and sleep! Where's the ZZZZZ graemlin?

Anyway, S&C, thanks for your response. I still haven't heard directly from cajunky any more than you have, but I was speaking mainly from my own pit experiences. There's part of me that knows what to do and how great God is and all that stuff, but I'm just too tired and muddy to care! It's not a very great attitude, but it's the truth. Speaking for myself, when I'm wallowing, the most effective thing to really help is to be understood and supported.

Now, S&C, you brought up a funny, but interesting point. Just today I was thinking...I actually know a FEW people from this forum "in real life" but not too many...and the funny part was that I was realizing today how many people I write to and have NO IDEA how old they are! I am the perfect age of 41yo, yet I feel about 25yo or so inside me--and I guess I assume everyong is "my age" (i.e., 25 to 41!) haha <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> I think I have a general sense of who is "older" and who is "younger" but beyond that...I'm clueless for the most part!! Isn't that funny?? Like...how old is lupolady? or LetsTry? or WillGetThroughThis? brokenx3? Stillwaiting? Yet we talk to them all the time, don't we?

I got quite a kick out of that! What if everyone else on this forum is 23yo!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> No wonder I sound so darn wise!!

BTW, S&C, when I said you had YEARS on cajunky, what I meant was that you have been going through this for years now, steadfast and committed to reconciling your marriage. It hasn't been a fast process for you, and you have had times when by all appearances there was no hope and it was all over. My point was that when a person has been "at it" for a few years, they start to see the bigger picture--that it's 3 or 4 or 5 years invested in saving a 50 or 60 year relationship...and that sometimes those wandering spouses can REALLY WANDER! I know cajunky is no infant at this, yet he hasn't been at it quite as long as you or I or lupolady...so I was hoping he would see some reason for hope.

Now, I have one final question for you'all that is just BUGGING me tonight. I am the most wonderful person. I have my flaws and emotional days, just like anyone else. I have a monthly cycle, like a woman does, but I also track it and try take herbs to help with PMS and such. I am funny, and smart, and lively and a pretty neat person. People at work see it. My friends see it. My IN-LAWS see it. The kids on my daughter's baseball team see it for crying out loud!!! Why can't my stbxH see it?? What is it? Sigh. I wish he could.

CJ

Colorado huh? We came just $150 from moving to Colorado Springs 'bout 8 years ago.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There's part of me that knows what to do and how great God is and all that stuff, but I'm just too tired and muddy to care! It's not a very great attitude, but it's the truth. Speaking for myself, when I'm wallowing, the most effective thing to really help is to be understood and supported.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I guess that's why people tend to like coming here. They can identify with many people here (too many).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I actually know a FEW people from this forum "in real life" but not too many</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I've never met anyone from this forum personally, but I do know that Twyla and Leilana are in my neck of the mango trees and I e-mail a few people.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I was realizing today how many people I write to and have NO IDEA how old they are! I am the perfect age of 41yo, yet I feel about 25yo or so inside me--and I guess I assume everyong is "my age" (i.e., 25 to 41!) haha I think I have a general sense of who is "older" and who is "younger" but beyond that...I'm clueless for the most part!! Isn't that funny?? Like...how old is lupolady? or LetsTry? or WillGetThroughThis? brokenx3? Stillwaiting? Yet we talk to them all the time, don't we? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This must be some fiendish plot to get people to reveal their age... ok, ok, I'll fall for it. I'm a few years younger than you. I'm 16 years old; I mean I feel like I'm 16 or act like I'm 16 or something like that. Oh yeah, I'm 43 and I act like I'm a kid, that's it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">BTW, S&C, when I said you had YEARS on cajunky, what I meant was that you have been going through this for years now, steadfast and committed to reconciling your marriage. It hasn't been a fast process for you, and you have had times when by all appearances there was no hope and it was all over. My point was that when a person has been "at it" for a few years, they start to see the bigger picture--that it's 3 or 4 or 5 years invested in saving a 50 or 60 year relationship...and that sometimes those wandering spouses can REALLY WANDER! I know cajunky is no infant at this, yet he hasn't been at it quite as long as you or I or lupolady...so I was hoping he would see some reason for hope. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That sounds real funny. I mean yes, my W had at least two one night stands while traveling just a few years into our M (15 years ago), and I found out about them 8 years later. I never really counted that as time served, cause I thought it was over and I/we thought it would never happen again. But this one I found out about only a year and a half ago. And it literally has been through God's divine guidance and instruction that I can say we've made it this far. Because my situation goes against what the Harleys and nearly everyone else says regarding NC. I feel very fortunate that the Lord has been very active in the recovery of my M. So I know I haven’t really been at this very long.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Now, I have one final question for you'all that is just BUGGING me tonight. I am the most wonderful person. I have my flaws and emotional days, just like anyone else. I have a monthly cycle, like a woman does, but I also track it and try take herbs to help with PMS and such. I am funny, and smart, and lively and a pretty neat person. People at work see it. My friends see it. My IN-LAWS see it. The kids on my daughter's baseball team see it for crying out loud!!! Why can't my stbxH see it?? What is it? Sigh. I wish he could.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I understand. Sometimes, the enemy has our spouses ensnared in muck and mire that is so thick and they are so deceived into thinking it is so wonderful. That’s why I started praying more for my wife’s deliverance and her walk with God than our marriage. To me, at some point it was more important to have her walk restored than our M. And I prayed that if her walk was restored then the restoration of our M would be a byproduct of that. She still has a long way to go, but if our M recovers in line with her walk, then I believe we are in for one heck of a life together.

Bless you FW and thank you for the blessings and gentle rebukes (lol). <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Love in Christ

S&C