and it will be graduation day for my OD!!!Yippeee!!!

But that means that her dad and stepmother are coming!! And that is what I am struggling with. My daughter invited the stepmother personally after meeting her at Easter.

I Have this awesome house, beautifully decorated, a yard that is great, I've lost 50 lbs. I have more now then when I was married to him. I Have wonderful friends, I have, I have, I have, but she has my husband and that really irates me and that is what I am not able to get over. I feel like a two year old who has had their favorite toy taken away by a playmate.

I don't know if I can handle having her here at my house, with my family!!! My family and friends will be there to protect me, the thing is she is this really nice person according to my kids, so I will probably end up looking like the bad guy, if anything were to be said or to happen.

I am just not sure that I am strong enough to handle this. There will be the cermony at 2pm outdoors, and then a BBQ at my house afterwards, I have not asked her dad for any help with any of the expenses, probably wouldn't be there if I did ask.

My D is afraid that her dad will be uncomfortable being here at our house, I'm thinking tough, that is his problem. I am not the one that had an affair and left his wife and family for this other person. He should feel uncomfortable.

As much as it would make things easier for me for them not to show up I will not let him do that to our daughter, it would devast her. I am half afraid because of him being uncomfortable he will say that he doesn't have the money to come and stay in a hotel for the weekend.

I've been praying for the Lord to give me patience, understanding and guidance through this. I am not sure if he is not heaping more on me to give me more or what, somedays I feel very overwhelmed by all of this, kind of like tonight (have been busy cleaning carpets and stuff getting ready) and others day I am pretty laid back and could care less. I want to find that happy medium, where is it and how do I get there?

Just my ramabling tonight as I wait for the carpet to dry so I can put the furniture back!!!

Thanks for reading and your support, you are MBers and I know that you will be there for me, in thought.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Congratulations to your D, and to you for putting your life back together and making it even better. I believe that you'll be able to get through this better than you think, even though the hurt and anger are still there just under the surface. For your kids sake, you are probably going to have to learn to deal with the stepmother. Even though I'm sure the jealousy is worse because she's a "really nice person" (I can feel much more righteous indignation because OW in my case is not such a nice person), thank God, for your kids sake, that she is. You might even like her, as awful as that might be to contemplate. It must be so hard that the kids like her and that your D seems so concerned about your XWH's feelings, but no one who hasn't been there can really know what you've been through. After you do this once, the rest should all be downhill. You're doing everything you can do. Keep praying about it and trust that God will carry you through.

Dawn, it sounds like you are doing so well, both with your home and personally. I know it must be very hard to anticipate having a celebration that includes your x and the woman who helped make it happen. I can't even conceive of doing something like that right now, although I know the future holds many gatherings and graduations to get through....(sigh).

But it sounds like you have every thing planned out carefully and it will be a wonderful party. Enjoy your D, her accomplishment and the part you played in holding it all together so she could sucessfully get to this point. Be strong and be proud - you have much to be proud of.

I rather doubt he can say the same.

Thank you for both for your support!! I so appreciate it!!!

Well step mom should true colors last night, kind of fun actually, and no one to share it with but you here at MB.

OD did it again got drunk didn't come home right away!! Doesn't take much for her to get drunk I guess. She and her brother lied to me about it and that is the big problem. But told x last week when she kept coming home late. That I would continu to call at whatever hour concerning his kids, that this is the way he choose to parent long-distance, I was just accomadating him (last week he was working mids) not this week!! Had to yell to the answering machine to get someone to pick up, now at 1 in the morning do you think I am calling to chit chat? The only reason I call this man is because of his kids!!! I don't call someone elses H to chat unlike her!!! Nother story, nother issue about her and her true colors, she was the one to answer the phone and went off cussing about it being the time that it was and so on. Spoke to x had x speak to OD he hung up, called him back and he wouldn't answerr the phone DUH I know you are there and awake!!! Called three times, then called the cell guess he had to get up and go out to his car!! UGH!!! But will the kids see her for truly the way she is? Probably not! BUT I know what I have known along, she is scum, denying a man's kids, I don't care what time of night it is actually at that time of night he should be concerned automatically!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey Dawn..my D is also graduating!! Unlike you though I am having a horrible time of getting things together for any kind of celebration.

D is telling me that she doesnt want a party...just give her the money we would spend towards a car. My H and I arent on any kind of speaking terms at all. I dont feel like a child who has had her favorite toy taken away. I just feel so violated, abused an hurt. Dont forget...my H was a longtime emotional abuser, and then towards end of marriage, physically abusive and then raped me. I am healing nicely, but cant stomach even talking to him on the phone, let alone have him as a guest in what is now my house. Not to mention the outlaws who have not even called my house to see how any of us..including children are. in 7 months. grandmother called twice..once for daughters BD and once for sons BD.

To top it off..H is suing me for extreme cruelty!

So, not to hijack your thread..but give me some advice on how to handle daughters graduation. I need help fast!

I am so glad you are doing good. It feels good doesnt it??? Keep up the good work. Email me sometime so we can chat on AOL or MSN

Am I reading right????You are considering letting H and new wife stay at your house for graduation instead of motel???? I hope you are not that gracious! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Smiles,
The other Dawn

Prom is friday..H called and told my D "IM sure you dont want me at pictures, so I will just send you a check to help pay for them" well she does want him at pictures..as the loving Christian father and husband he should be.

Like you...otherwise Im doing GREAT...I have lost 40 lbs now, exercise, and have many new friends, and many renewed old friendships, fallen to the wayside because of dysfunctional husband. I have renewed loving closenes with my family, relationships that my H hindered.

Other Dawn,

I am not that gracious, xH can stay at house in basement!!! That is if he tries telling me that he can't come because of $$$$ I am not going to let him out of it that easy!!!!

My D wasn't sure what she wanted to do either for her G-day. I just went ahead and made the decision to have the get together, if her dad is uncomfortable and does not want to be here then he can visit with her later or take her out to lunch that day instead!!! That is his choice!!!

It is nice to being so well!!! At times I do wish that I had someone to share some special moments with, but am not actively looking at this time, the Lord will put someone there when the time is right. That is not for me to decide!!!

Perhaps if you can afford, order some pizzas grab some sodas and hang out with family and friends, nothing to much if you know what I mean!!! I haven't decided on a gift yet, for our son we gave him $$$ he wasted it and did not get a down payment put on a car like we wanted him to. D has a new car after her accident. Thought about giving her my half of $$$ but am not sure, that just puts her closer to moving out and that probably isn't a good thing with some of what she has done lately!!! Have asked dad his intentions for graduation and really don't get anything. Thought about a laptop computer, but now she isn't sure that she is going to continue college next semseter. Perhaps savings bonds!!! I am not sure!!! The announcements are laying on the table and need to be mailed as graduation is on the 25th!!!

Take care, Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />