By now the regulars know me and your all not afraid to pass judgement on me, but heres another great mess from my life, you all know I'mm headed for divorce, and tuesday put the last nail in the lid, I've been taping all calls to my home because my step son is out of controll, my step son allowed his 13 yr old female cousin to use his room for sex with one of his druggy friends while my step son stood guard, while its happening he's proudly telling another girl on the phone its happening, after the deed was done, they were all joking about where to dispose of the condom, i found it just where they said. At this point i had drug deals,disrespect for my house rules and now sex on tape, all done by a minor who was on probation for an offence he could have gotten 10 years in jail for, this kid shows no remorse and is back to his old ways even while on probation. my wife hides it and tells me i'm wrong, last week i caught her lying, since i'm taping, I got the real scoop on a problem the kid was involved with, when I asked about it, she LIED, I asked AGAIN, what really happened, lies again,then I recited word for word what really happened, she was stunded because i had the goods.Even after hearing on tape that her son was dead wrong, she still made excuses about HIS actions, she stated that the girl knew what she was doing, thats NOt the point, the point was that my step son ALLOWEd this to happen in our home, he disrespected his uncle, his cousin, and OUR HOME RULES, this kid deserves to go back to jail and think about respecting the athority that he brought upon himself. I have no respect left for my wife after all she's put me through, then i really lost it when she didnt admit her son was dead wrong, it proves to me who and what she was really looking out for all these years. I told her my 8 year old daughter will NEVER EVER live in the same house with her son and all his problems. I now know my wife really has issues to defend her son's ways to the end, even after getting the goods on tape, we are done.

Fortyone,

report it to the police..and let him suffer the consequences..

And allow the other two kids to also suffer the consequences of their actions by contacting their parents and letting them know what is going on..

And before you move out...Buy the book Tough Love
and read it to your wife..

hi
I am sorry it has come to this for you.
I almost mentioned in my last post about the bedroom issue, I have a friend who had a 13 year old daughter and her step son did the deed on the lil sister, only threatened her big time and she denied things for along time.

the thing is with this is your wife isn't going to listen, she really wants to believe her son is
ok..he can't do know wrong and he has convinced her..that you are out to get him..so it isn't going to do much good to say much to her.

but I DO know you need to think about your own children first and perhaps just get out, with them
or put him where he belongs he is really going to have other parents pressing charges and I was afraid for you with what you know YOU HAVE to do something with him, regardless cause you KNOW now
and it was done in your house..his room..your home.
HE really is not caring about anything and taking others down with him as he goes, seems to be the way of alot of kids today, I was thinking after praying this morning..I think we have reached the point in matthew where it says even the children will be evil..unholy disobedient to parents..etc..

these are choices he is making..and someone HAS
to help him to see they are wrong, his mother has
some real ISSUES as they call it.

I am really sorry for you to be having to have
this emotional upheaval..it is the sign of the times and I would think that a call to a social worker is needed or turn him in before you loose custody of your other kids..some people like other parents who trust their kids to your home
expects you are or someone is suppervising the kids. they don't belong in his room and they he should not be having kids in his room..male nor female..they don't seem to care genders now aday either. if you go to chat room not sure suicide is still there..most of the kids that were there said their parents were in another room. they would let friends in through their windows and parents did not know it..they would even hide in closets and under the beds..room doors should remain open and parents need to not be prisoners in their own homes..
but till he is ready to turn himself around, and I think hormones really play a big part BUT sin is sin and even if people say it is just acting out...well the issue is this is destructive.

these kids in suicide were unsupervised...at home in their own room, parents were usually busy some with girlfriends, in new relationships themselves.
no reason for these kids to do this behaviour..
but even men and women act like adolesents, my hubby did..he did no wrong, no responsibility,
in the end he ended up just like a teenager for
a couple years and if I didn't do what he wanted me to do...then he would take his balls and bat
and go play elsewhere..like a kid..actually.
drugs like those make you stupid..and think
everything is ok..but then hurts innocent and tears our hearts apart..and out homes and familys

I only read a few of your posts, and I am not judging you..this is happen in MORE familys then people know, I found it out the hard way..
my daughter did things..but then she took off..
but it went on a long time..from 14 to 24 so it ran its course till SHE had a wake up call.

what we did not know were her brothers, our sons were also doing the same things but were never caught, she never told..but she knew and when she
tried to straighten out one of them would get her back into it again..was sad..right now she is ok and been clean now for 15 years she really liked the drug scene..but now she cannot believe how crazy she got into it..she said she would NOT do it again..
like I Said she has a great website..and God got hold of her and she did not even go through withdrawal..I Cannot believe she is almost 40 now..it takes sucks our lifetime away too..along with family and sanity..

oh this is probably messed up I jump around alot..
trying to be sane in an unsane world..

right now I am trying to get my house in order so to speak..going through things preparing to go
my health is bad..unless I have a miracle I am not
expected to be around too much longer..and most of this is due to stress..and ended up with heart failure..

stress can kill...was shocked to find this out 2 months ago..
so please take care of you..and get him the help he most definetly needs..he has a DRUG problem.
he needs to take responsibility for his own behaviour this is NOT YOUR FAULT..
it's addiction now..from bad choices could happen to us...too..Being understanding isn't going to work with him..

BIG HUGS..gee you are about the age of my oldest son..take care.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Lots of prayer will help.
EarthAngel

Sad, i'm sorry about your situation, i hope things work out for the best for you, now for my situation, i'm hiring a lawyer today, and i'm showing him all my tapes of the destruction this child and his very sick mother have caused, I've been really torn up on this site about my situation, i know I'm a bit harsh sometimes, but my heart is always in the right place, i wanted the best for everyone in my home, i didnt ever build a relationship with my step son, and part of the problem with that was his mother has "issues" and she ruined this kid, I so wish I didnt get involved, but i did, and i tried to right the ship, but i wasnt allowed to,I have 3 other children who are just fine, the difference is I got to help raise them from day 1, and i'm NOT DEPRESSED. I told my wife that even though we cant be together i'm always her friend, and WE will stand side by side and raise our daughter to be a healthy, normal person. I've written a lot of bad things about my wife, and all of it was true, I'm not perfect, but i have eyes, and I have a brain,many things were mis handled, I'm a person that holds no grudges, and I can move foreward and do whats right for my kids.In spite of whay my wife and her son have put me through i told her I will always be her friend, and i mean that. A very suprising thing has happened now, my EX wife, who has given me nothing but grief for years has rallied behind me to help me solve this problem, i really dont fully trust her, but I dont hold grudges, and i will accept her friendship at face value and get through it all and survive. I care about what happens to all the people in this screwed up situation, and I will work hard to see that things go as good as possible.