I have posted here before but in the Emotional needs catagory. I have gotten some good advice and have tried all of it to no avail. I am hoping here that i will get some more advice that is not the same. I posted 3 topics over there.<BR>1)I think i am falling out of love with my wife.<BR>2)I am so confused I dont know what to do anymore.<BR>3)HELP!!!!!!!!!!<P> Feel free to read these if you wish. I will put my problems in a nut shell cause it will take me forever to explain them completely. I have this strange feeling that i have fallen out of love with my wife because 1.She is very controling of everything I do. 2.If it is not done her way she has an attitude. 3.If we have a fight regardless of who is at fault I have to apologize.<P>Most of these things have been going on for most of my 3 year marriage but i have not done anything about them. I guess that i am emotionally fed up with dealing with it all and i want out. That is in a way how i feel right now. I have talked with my W about these problems but all she can say is that I cannot expect her to change. I dont expect her to change completely but at least try to control these things. I have been getting this strong feeling to get into my truck and just drive and go wherever it takes me. We have a 19 month old boy together that i love to death. She wants more kids but i have told her that we need to wait especially since i am having these feelings that i have no explenation for. After i had said this she seemed to get sort of a resentment towards me. In a way i feel like i am only stayin married because of my son. I know that is not a healthy marriage. I honestly can say that yes deep down i will always love her no matter what happens. I also think that i fell in love with her in the first place was because she she was my first (if you know what i mean). I used to be able to just shrug off the attitude and her controllingness but i cant do that anymore. Another thing that bothers the hell out of me is the way she treats my family. Her family can do no wrong but just because my family is not perfect (but whos is) she either hates them or thinks that they are stupid. For example i have a brother that was a meth addict and he went to jail for it. Here is the same guy that i got into my first fist fight with but yet i can forgive him for it. I understand he is my bro and all but he has not done a thing to her except be as nice as he can, but she still treats him like crap most of the time. I feel also that even though she would deny it she takes advantage of my father. We had very bad financial troubles for a long time after we got married but when we needed it my father helped us no matter the cost or what it was. He has done so much for us that if it wasnt for him we would most likely be living on the streets. Well anyway i dont want to ramble on so please read my other posts and help me with any advice you can give me.

Hi. I'm not a man, but I do understand because I used to treat my husband in a lot of the same ways that your wife treats you. My reason was because I was very unhappy due to all of the stress--taking care of my 2 children, his 3 children (part time), the household, working a full time job and going to college full time, and taking care of everything else on my own. It seemed as if I never had any moral support from him. I would curse and scream and accuse and degrade him continuously. One day, I decided that maybe that was the reason he was more and more distant to me. So I tried to explain to him that I needed him without arguing. He said that I was selfish and wanted to control him. To make this short, the relationship got worse and he was coming home in the evenings less and less. He drove me farther away from him and not realizing it at the time, but I was driving him farther away too. I eventually got involved with another man and fell very much in love with him. This really got his attention. But the point that I am trying to make is that I found marriagebuilders.com browsing the internet and it opened my eyes. The literature made me realize that I was wrong in many ways in this relationship too. I felt that he deserved a real chance and I stayed with my husband. The first question I have is "how old are you and your wife?". Sometimes it takes a woman forever to grow up and sometimes it winds up being too late. Point out to her your feelings and explain to her that she is driving you away and you don't really want that. Let her know that you would rather be honest with her than to lie and pretend that everything is okay. She will be very upset, but sooner or later she will have to realize the truth. It takes two to make a marriage work; not one or one and a half. I have never been able to accept my husband's family in a loving way, but he has a family just like I have a family and it is only fair that I be equal. She doesn't have to like them, but she should accept them. My husband's brother is in jail continuously and I do not like him, but I don't sleep with him every night or live with him or any of them, so it doesn't matter what they do with their lives. It doesn't control my life. I live my life for me and my family, not them. I can bet you your wife hasn't had any worse luck with your family than I have had with my husband's family. I can really give you some stories. Anyway, as long as you are there for your wife when she needs you and not putting your family first all of the time, then she should be happy. The best medicine is honesty; tell her what you feel. It might not bring about the best solution, but things happen for a reason. Good luck!!!<BR>

Hi Cowboy. I've been searching the message boards inside and out trying to find someone with a situation like yours, believe or not. My brother is in the same position as you. First a little background.<P>I used to be good friends with my SIL. In fact, I was the one that introduced them each other. My brother and I have always had a close relationship and for some reason, I thought they would be perfect for each other, even though they're as different as night and day. She is very aggressive and a go-getter and my brother is very laid back. He is the nicest guy that would do anything for anyone. The friendship between me and my then future SIL changed. I really started to see who she really was - a selfish ***** who thought she was God's gift to the world. My mother saw this in her also and we were both VERY against this marriage. But they ended up getting married. That was almost 5 years ago. They had an apt. in the city and lived a fairly normal life together ( I think ). But the whole time, she put a very big distance between them and the family. She never ever called my mother (which in the Asian culture is a very big deal) and avoided attending family functions as much as she could. My mother, on the other hand, prepared and sent food to them in spite of the way she was treated. My brother was constantly making excuses for her. Well, one day they decided to start a family. They tried for about a year but just couldn't get pregnant. At that point, I kind of felt sorry for her. But they finally did get pregnant. Her morning sickness was so bad that she quit her job. My brother owns his own business so that put a lot of pressure on him. I should also add that my SIL has very high taste and likes to shop a lot for expensive clothes and things. While she was still pregnant, they moved into her mother's house to save money to buy a house of their own. Her mother was hardly ever home (parents are divorced) so it didn't bother my brother to live with his MIL. Besides, she's a very nice woman who doesn't meddle or get in the way of my brother's and SIL's relationship. Well, it just so happens that their house is like 2 min. from mine. My mother is always at my house because she babysits my kids. But because of her estranged relationship with my SIL, she doesn't visit them often. There have been times when my mother would call first to say she's going to visit the baby (he is now 4 months old) and when she knocks on the door, my SIL just flat out doesn't answer the door. Later, she just claims she never heard anything. So anyway, my brother works very hard and has to work late sometimes to meet deadlines. His business hasn't been doing very well lately so I can imagine that they have financial problems. Well, it turns out that when he gets home, there is never dinner waiting for him. He usually has to take care of the baby first and can then eat. He has lost so much weight and has a head full of gray hair at age 33. For whatever reason, he got kicked out of the house earlier this week. He went to stay with a friend. The odd thing is, he actually told our mother. For him to do that was a big risk because he knew that meant he might get an earful of "I told you so's". He told my mother that he wants to divorce his w. My mother told him that was out of the question as it is almost a taboo subject in our culture and religion. My brother's friend also told me that he told him he wants a divorce. His friend suggested counseling and I think my brother is willing, but you can bet that my SIL will probably be against it. My brother confided in his friend that his w is selfish and that he should have never married her in the first place. That is where things stand now. I don't know if she also wants a divorce. I kind of wish they would break up because I know she won't ever change and he deserves so much better. His friend also told me that my SIL flat out told my brother that she doesn't want anything to do with his family unless we were planning on babysitting.<P>I know that there is nothing I can do for them but to pray for them. I don't know if counseling would help them because what needs to be changed is her personality. She's very controlling. I'm just so heartbroken for my brother.<P>What is going on in your situation? <P>Thanks for letting me vent.<P>Woodstock<BR>